Isn’t a Bob Rivers parody, mate?
Partner?
::gasp::
I didn’t know such people existed! Hates it? Gah!
Why is it, that when I saw this thread title, I thought of the Tootsie Pop commercial?
a-one… a-two… a-three…
never mind.
Re: Anthracite’s post.
How the hell does a woman not like someone going down on her? I do have a friend who is squeemish about it but it seems really off the wall to hear about a woman (let alone a lesbian!) who doesn’t love it. It can be combined with penetration.
I couldn’t date a woman who didn’t love it because I love doing it so much that it’d damn near kill me not to. I only stop if/when she says she can’t take any more.
Yes, definitely too much info. sorry, folks.
Tibs.
Okay, we are so having that Austin Dopefest.
Anyone else see an owl answering this question?
*"one…
ah two…
ah thrrrreeee…crunch.
Ah, three, three licks on the clitoris is sufficient.*"
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a clit? I guess we will never know.
UNI, this is just from my experience alone but there is no pat answer to this question. Hell sometimes you shouldn’t even stop if she says “when”, but as a general rule if the neighbors have been pounding on the door dor a half hour and you have red welts on your shoulders and her heels are diggin in to your hips and you suspect that a salty/sweet water baloon just popped in your mouth then you can at least rest for a bit without looking like a piker.
If you are with someone who wants to make a marathon out of it, which despite how pleasurable it can be and erotic it can still lead to neck injuries and other pains (I got a fractured nose from an attempt in the back of an 84’ Cutlass Sierra) you can always take a breathe for a few or try to ensure that you are in a position that does not strain your neck.
I’m a big fan of being on my back “femal superior” position. It allows her to grind and crontrol more of the pressure and whatnot and I get this really freat view of boobies. 
A headboard is useful in the aforementioned scenario.
Also: I say that unless it is for your own enjoyment never give head for greater durations that you recieve head. Just my opinion, but i don’t cotton to no greedy head-takers.
If you’ve got to ask you’ll never know.
Until she grabs your head and pulls you off is a good rule.
::eyes Tibs:: How you doin’? 
Where’s Divemaster? He’s the expert on this.
ANTHRACITE, PLEASE COME OVER HERE.
Look, you chose to talk about it, so I feel I’m now allowed to ask for more information. Please. I will not rest until I understand:
You are a lesbian, yes?
You have a lover, yes?
She is a female, yes?
AND SHE HATES GETTING HEAD?
WTF?
What the hell does she LIKE? Does she like to GIVE? I really need a better understanding of this relationship…
Because the only thing I can think of is something similar to a situation I was in some many years ago when i was dabbling…I had a girlfriend, real cute little butch thang, and she resisted receiving sexual attention. I think she was accustomed to playing a role where she just “did” her partner, then kinda kicked back and enjoyed the ego trip. But I wasn’t into that, so I sorta forced her to take it. And she did. And she liked it. But like I said, that was not comfortable for her in terms of her role playing trips…but on a purely sexual basis, she definitely appreciated it.
so…please 'splain. If you would.
stoid
Does the tongue have a dorsal side??
'till it’s red raw, baby
One of my favorite Woody Allen bits is in Annie Hall, (?) where Shelly Duvall apologizes for taking so long, and he says, “No, that’s okay, I should be getting some feeling back in my jaw any time now…”
To address the OP: until she bops you on the head with the box of Kleenex and leaps out of the bed in irritation, because you keep stopping every two minutes to ask, “Are you done yet?”
From a hetero’s POV, and following a measure of [hijack][/hijack]:
Woman provides oral gratification, male’s ego leads him to not want to kiss her because of deep rooted concerns about traditional masculinity, and homophobia, or taste.
The reverse can be applied for the/a woman.
From a post or two, and conversations this oldfart has had; in a same sex rendezvous, the recipient might be uncomfortable with the possibility of tasting the flavors of one’s own body on the mouth of the lover.
While to some it might seem contrived, warm moist towels, and a method to rinse one’s mouth at bedside, can benefit situations where discomfort might otherwise persist.
To the OP, care and nurturing should be your guide.
Tiburon, some women can’t come this way so they aren’t interested in getting it.
That doesn’t make any sense at all, speaking as a woman, of course. [warning TMI ahead] I can’t come that way either but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel damn good. Hell, if I wasn’t interesed in getting things done to me that can’t make me come, that would rule out pretty much most of foreplay.
I am in the small minority of women who do not have clitoral orgasms. Yes, we do exist. I have never had one in any fashion. As a result, I’ve never been interested in oral sex performed on me.
However, I usually achieve orgasm (9 times out of 10) through intercourse, so I guess it’s a trade-off.
I am a “certified” female who only loves other women. Soooo…yes.
Hmm…that depends I guess. I live with a woman who hates me and sex, yet sometimes will reluctantly agree to participate in it. Tough call.
Yes.
Yes.
WTF indeed.
Don’t know, really. And I’ve spent many hours researching. I have tried everything, and I am a tireless lover. My ideal lovemaking sessions would last days - I would love for nothing else but to spend the entire holiday weekend in bed, pleasuring her (or whoever my lover would be). I have read books, studied, practiced, sought experienced help. I would try or do ANYTHING that she, or anyone else, wished, short of causing physical harm to myself or them.
Does she like to “give”? Bwahahahahaha! (Una rolls on the floor laughing, then starts to cry)
Uhhh…no.
Sorry but no, you do not need a better understanding. And you’re going to be really sorry now that you asked. Let me break it down for you though:
-
I love and live to give pleasure to others in bed. Those others by choice and natural preference happen to only be women.
-
I need no satisfaction myself, altho it used to be nice when it would randomly occur. I really want only deep, true love. Oh wait, I don’t get that either.
-
The person I live with hates me, and hates sex.
Any questions? Wait - let me anticipate your next questions:
- Why do you stay with her???
A: Because she is ill, and I have a responsibility towards her. Unlike 99% of the World, responsibility is not just another word in my dictionary. Plus other more complicated issues. However, time will tell very shortly I think.
- Can’t you find anyone else? Around where you live? Shoot, there are even lots of bi and lesbian women here that would love to go out with you!
A: Uhhh…right. People flirt a hell of a lot here on the SDMB, but let’s not talk Board Talk. Let’s talk IRL. And IRL, old Ms. Reality says “You could not get any woman here to brake if you walked in front of her car, let alone go out with you.” And IRL, I have been supremely uncussessful.
- Are you sick too? You need help blah, blah, blah.
A: Like I said, it was TMI. I wish I hadn’t posted it. Now we can all go back to the real issue at hand, which is mocking Uniball for asking this question.
- Well what the hell is wrong with you then?
A: I am extremely unattractive. And have a physical issue that needs fixing. My diabetes causes some problems too, but not much.
Hmm…I think that’s quite enough self-demeaning for today.
I also thought more people would find my “multitude of dildos” post funny. Sigh.