Ok, I wasnt much for chemistry, but if I remember right, there are atoms and molecules that make up everything…
So, if I sit in one place long enough, how long would it take for the molecules to begin to zip back and forth and eventually wouldnt the surface integrity of my ass and the chair deteriorate and join…
Serious question.
No cracks about the size of my ass.
Or about the size of the chair.
Kelli, I like you already. I’m sitting here, laughing hard. I’ve got the most amazing flu ( 104.1 fever, etc ) and this is the best laugh I’ve had all day.
I’m gonna chime in here. The human body decomposes pretty thoroughly in…what?.. a few hundred years? ( Above ground, and not pickled- remember, she’s sitting in the chair- in what we all will assume to be NORMAL athmospheric conditions…none of this- " Do you live in Marrakech?" stuff here ).
The chair, on the other hand, is the problem. If it were wrought of finest oak, and NOT varnished to death? Your touchas and the chair would probably become one at roughly the same time.
However ( he’s warming to her topic…er…his topic now ), if the chair was one of these newfangled Starship Trooper PolyHypoGlycolene Titanium amalgams? My goodness, it might take a thousand years for your posterior and the cushion upon which you have rested said lovely fundament to become as one.
So delighted to have been of service 
Four years of art school, and I can’t draw the chair, just the… (Y)
Cartooniverse
p.s. I spelled it that way because, shocked as this CSNY fan was to discover upon arrival in Casablanca, it’s NOT spelled "Marrakesh "
" If you want to kiss the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel. "
No, they wouldn’t join.
But then depending on who you ask, they might not be seperate either.
(looking at my ass on the chair). Ummm…33 years, 10 months, and 4 days.
Study Zen, love. Then, not only will your ass & the chair become one; you will become one with everything. Or is that the way I like my hot dogs–“Zen Frankfurters, make me one–with everything.”
I wonder if one’s ass becoming one with the chair is a beginner’s version of becoming one with the Universe? If so, as a State employee, I am well on my way to enlightenment! 
“Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.”----Jung
Sit in the chair for about a week straight…and it won’t be growing to it but you sure will think it is…mind over matter…
“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda
By golly, I love to pick nits. My apologies for the following.
Actually, it didn’t start out being written in the Roman (english) alphabet at all. One phonetic spelling is as good as another when translating Arabic. Kaddafi, Qadafi, Khadafhi . . .
But to the OP, Cartooniverse nailed it pretty well. Because of the molecular/atomic construction of, say, titanium, it decays (exchanges bits with the atmosphere or your butt) very slowly. For your ass and the chair to fully intermingle you’d have to wait until the chair completely disintgrates (or at least the top layer of it).
-andros-
-andros-
damn MPD.
if you are small, like a child, and plan to grow, again like a child, then you could sit down and grow around the chair to some degree. especially if the chair is slats or a mesh. but it would probally take 10000xs of yrs to actually get a butt-chair ‘alloy’
Andros-
THAT’S why you have the best Nit collection in the Cascades
You know, I didn’t think of that. It’s not an English word. I sit ( still not One with My chair, thank god ) corrected. You have to admit, it was a great way to slip CSNY into the thread, right?
Cartooniverse
" If you want to kiss the sky, you’d better learn how to kneel. "