I’ll update my OP.
We met, the lawyer, my ex, and I, in the lawyer’s offices.
She tried to fall back to some of her old lies in the meeting, claiming she wasn’t receiving the statements for the unpaid credit card. I pulled out a stack of statements and showed her that her address was correct for all of them, both her previous and current addresses.
She tried to make an issue of why I IM her after sending her an important email (I send her a note to “read email, pls”). She claimied I was harassing her. Then a moment later she tried to use the excuse that she wasn’t reading email regularly, justifying, IMO, the need for the extra IM step I’ve doing.
At one point she claimed she never said she’d not send any of the kids’ clothing or toys to their new home. I pulled out her email and read her words back at her.
She made two other attempts to lie and I just put my hand on my file box and asked if she wanted me to read her the information to her. She backed down.
I was called a bully by her lawyer. I can live with that. In my opinion, attempting to be nice had already failed as a technique.
The results are somewhere between neutral and good.
The unpaid bills are now paid and my ex has a “new understanding” as to the importance of paying them on time. I still have the contempt of court option if she falls behind again.
We’ve recalculated the child-support according to our new income levels and 50% custody. A new “parenting time” agreement is being written and it will specify 50% child custody and codify some allowance for family vacations (allowing some weekends to be altered a bit to accomodate. I’ll get a lawyer to review that new agreement before I sign it.
All in all, a good meeting. If she keeps the bills paid, I should have very little reason to complain.