I have an idea for a tee-shirt…
Yer pal,
Satan
All of them, since he didn’t make mankind immortal.
Indeterminate number because of the flood in Genesis.
Here’s the whole rundown:
? – Entire world population except for Noah and 7 relatives (Genesis 6,7)
? – Entire populations of Sodom and Gomorrah except Lot, his wife, and their 2 daughters (Genesis 19)
1 – Lot’s wife (Genesis 19:26)
1 – Slew Er, Judah’s firstborn son (Genesis 38:7)
1 – Er’s brother, Onan (38:10)
? – The firstborn in all of Egypt (Exodus 12)
? – Drowned the pharoah and all of his gang in the Red Sea (Exodus 14)
2 – Nadab and Abihu for making a fire (Leviticus 10)
11 – Sent a plague on Jews who gave the chosen land a bad report
? – Korah, Dathan, Abiram, and their familes (Numbers 16)
250 – followers of Korah (Numbers 16)
14,700 – Israelites who murmured against Moses (Numbers 16)
? – Philistines
? – Retreating Amorite soldiers (Joshua 10)
1 – Uzzah for touching ark (2 Samuel 6)
1 – David and Bathsheba’s child (2 Samuel 12)
70,000 – Died from plague after King David ordered a census (2 Samuel 24)
102 – Soldiers of King Ahaziah (2 Kings 1)
2 – Ananias and Sapphira for land fraud (Acts 5)
42 – Sent bears to kill children who mocked Elisha (2 Kings 2:24)
? – Sent lions to kill invaders (2 Kings 17:25)
185,000 – Assyrians (2 Kings 19:35)
80,000 – Lots of bad Israelites
Total score: 350,114+
(I may have missed a few–feel free to fill them in)
No later plagues?Maybe we can somehow retroactively blame some new testament event.
Seraphim:
Very good work!
How about some estimates of the ones that there is no determined number?
I’ll split the proceeds from my tee-shirt sales… Or at least send you a dollar! 
Yer pal,
Satan
What about all the plagues in Egypt? Or did you mention those? Or were those not even deadly?
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
“Oh, this? Why, I get my T-shirts direct from Satan!”
Can I order one?
what about jesus? doesn’t it count that he set him up to die?
God also sent an angel to strike down Herod in Acts 12:23. Also, in Acts 5, Ananias and Sapphira were instantly killed by God because they witheld some of their tithe and lied about it.
Hope this helps.
The Dave-Guy
“since my daughter’s only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?” J.H. Marx
Add to the list several Israelites killed by snakes. (Numbers 21:4-9)
Also, indirectly, probably many Israelite slaves killed in Egypt which wouldn’t have been killed had God not “hardened Pharoah’s heart”.
Are we talking 1st degree murder, or including conspiracy to commit murder?
Perhaps a wanted poster instead…
No.
What would we use for the picture?
Darn that cunning rascal for never letting anybody see Him up close! He has all the angles covered! 
With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D, and you still have the frog you started with.
Burning Bush?
And, don’t forget all thoes that were killed with his help…after issuing the “Thou Shalt NOt Kill” order!!!
Oops, Surgoshan, I think you missed that Simpsons episode when Bart sold his soul for five bucks. Damn, you sell out cheap.
How many people did * you * kill, Satan?
Actually, I can’t think of any …
“In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18
Milo, how about all of Job’s children and many of his servants. Of course that was with God’s OK.
So, I wanna complain about cops running down innocent bystanders, and people here get all upset about freakin’ the cops. They either chew me out or refuse to respond. Then they all choose to escape into religious unreality (which has a much lower bandwidth than cyberspace).
Hey, tee shirts still sell on Telly (Telegraph Ave.) here in Bezerkeley, but they’ve been sayin’ nothin’ inspirin’ since “Fuck the Police”. Religious tee shirts don’t sell here, and the thumpers in Sproul Plaza no longer get any audiences. How ‘bout a nice target tee shirt that says "AIM YER DAMN WHEELS AT THIS IF YOU MUST, but I din’t do nuttin’, Ossifer!"
Got no time for Unmaker’s bloodshed; plenty o’ conscripts in Israel, Northern Ireland, Arab lands, Afghanistan, India, etc.
Ray (almost got run down by a (civilian) motorcycle on business-district sidewalk the other day)
Milossarian:
You are onto the idea I have for my shirt… On the front in big letters:
**NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE KILLED BY GOD: 15,957
NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE KILLED BY SATAN: 0**
Of course, I’m trying to document as best I can the number for the former. I am reasonably sure the number of the latter is correct as is.
The back would have, in small letters, a listing of all of the “victims,” kinda like a class graduation shirt lists all students on the back.
Now, for a personal plea: PLEASE DON’T STEAL MY IDEA? Heck, I don’t even know if it’s any good, but even if it’s a shitty idea, it’s MY shitty idea!
Yer pal,
Satan
Well, since I’m getting a cut of the proceeds (I preferred small bills in unmarked envelopes, thank you very much), I’ll have to correct you on that one. Satan (the biblical one) DID kill off Job’s children, and their servants (Job 1:12-19). Mind you, he did this with God’s consent, to wit: