I dunno. Just what is the population of North America these days…? 
Well, in my two-year stint as a phone sex operator, I’m guessing hundreds of guys were getting off to the sound of my voice and my phone persona. But the only person who’s ever told me he’s actually masturbated while thinking of me is mr. new. In fact, after 20 years together, it’s just recently that he’s told me this. We were, well, physically involved while he was telling me. And, OMG, what a turn-on! I think he should talk to me about this more often! 
I remember a few calling me to let me listen while it was happening. That was neato.
Imagines the phone call…
Lieu: Hello?
Caller: Hey, Lieu, how are you?
Lieu: Hey! Haven’t heard from you in eons. How ya doin?
Caller: Oh, fine, fine…
Lieu: You just get back from a jog? You sound a little winded.
Caller: Uh, well, no. Actually, I was just thinking about that New Year’s Eve Party we went to together a few years ago… Remember that?
Lieu: Yeah, we had a blast… Neither of us could find dates so we figured we’d just go together.
Caller: Yeah… Great time. I gotta tell you, Lieu, I was so hot for you that night, but I was really afraid to make a move.
Lieu: Huh? Seriously?
Caller: Yeah… I mean, I just couldn’t get up the nerve…
Lieu: Wow, I never knew! I’m flattered!
Caller: So I was just kinda thinking about it, and now I’m a little hot and bothered… If you know what I mean.
Lieu: Really?
Caller: Yeah… So I thought I’d share the joy, you know? Would you like that, Lieu?
Lieu: Yeah… I really would, but, you know… I’m just about to sit down to dinner. Maybe some other time?
Caller: Yeah, okay, I can call back in a bit.
Lieu: Great. I’ll talk to you soon then.
Caller: I can’t wait… I’ll be thinking of you…
Lieu: Believe me, I’ll be, uh, thinking of you, too, Tom…
Heh, I should be so lucky. That was the thing… they’d never tell me who it was. Drove me crazy trying to figure it out because… just… wow!
295,734,134/2
Don’t forget all those people in the audience. Think all those teenage girls were really taking pictures of the bride & groom kissing?