I was talking to an old friend of mine today, and the subject of weight came up(football in high school story for the curious). He estimated that I weigh 160. Now that is absurd as I weigh about 260, have a 50 inch chest, 56 inch gut, and 54 inch waist. That kind of lying really annoys me since it is just so stupid. I know his girlfriend, who is real ball-breaker) so I guess I understand his lying even if it was real bad as a conditioned response.
But seriously, do most sane people (or even women ) really want someone to lie to them?
I’m not sure I can speak for the sane, but I value honesty very highly. I find silly statements, like your friends, rather insulting. Do they think I’m so stupid that it isn’t obvious they’re lying? Do they think I’m so vain that I’ll accept even the most absurd lie as a compliment? I don’t know. I can’t imagine the mindset that produces such rubbish.
I’m often told I don’t look my age. I’m 44. The two most recent guesses were mid-to-late thirties. I accept this, because I can see how that’s possible. (For the record, I guess it’s nice, but I don’t take it as much of a compliment. It’s not like it’s an achievement, on my part. It’s just the way it is.) But, if someone were to tell me I looked 25, they get one of these :dubious: and I’d immediately downgrade my opinion of them.
Perhaps he was thinking kilos rather than pounds? 160 kilos is ~350 lbs. Just as bad an error, but more believable.
I find it very difficult to tell a woman’s age if they’re between 20 or so and 35 or so. When I was 19, I looked 29; when I was 29, I looked 29. Were I in shape, I reckon I’d still look 29.
I value honesty very highly, and I think most people do too, even if it isn’t immediately obvious (to either party). In the short term, it may bite you in the arse, but it works in the long term. Likewise, lieing may help in the short term, but it doesn’t work in the long term. It took me a long time to figure this out on my own: I was (un)fortunate enough to have a genius for a younger brother who turned both brains and age to his advantage, usually with tears, with the result that I often got punished not having done anything wrong, so I learned to say whatever would put me in the best light. It took until I was 13 or 14 to get over this.
Honesty and integrity are some of the only traits that truly distinguish honorable folk from rascals. The saying; “A man’s only as good as his word.” has persisted for centuries because it is true. I like the way it was put on the sign above a dilapidated auto body shop out in the Central Valley:
My best friend has extremely short hair. Hardly more than an inch long, at best. She went and got a PERM, when she went to get her colour re-done. Now, she looks like a big RED poodle. Not flattering. So not flattering, that when I saw her for the first time like this, I nearly hurt myself not laughing out loud. :eek:
I love this lady - she’s been my number one fan, when I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I feel compelled to tell her that this is not a flattering look for her, but at the same time, I don’t quite know how to do it tactfully. Partly because I just want to howl at the hair.
I did warn the ladies at the office that she’s done this (we work together) so that they wouldn’t laugh. One of them said to put a contract out on the hairdresser.
The questions here is not whether, but how, to be honest. Poor woman.
I guess there are places where honesty is more important than others. For example, if you try to brighten someone’s day by telling them they look nice when they probably do not (all subjective, of course), then honesty is not really an issue, or so it seems. However, if you are swearing to tell the truth in a court of law, then honesty is, of course, very important and required.
Violet, I find I agree with you. Only a complete sadistic bastard takes pride in saying they tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth 100% of the time, no matter who it hurts, no matter if it destroys a marriage or a life or a career. While I certainly don’t appreciate being lied to, my husband saying “ya know honey, that dress isn’t really you,” is a lot nicer and easier to take than “Maureen, you look like hell in that. Don’t wear it.” Diplomacy walks the very edge of honesty and lying.
I really value honesty very much too. The friends I have are people who I know will be completely honest with me, and with whom I can be totally candid.
I’m not sure I’d put it that way. I don’t find that being polite and being honest conflict all that often, but perhaps I just have a more optimistic outlook on the subject. Either way, my friends expect both from me and I try to deliver.
) really want someone to lie to them?
