The only show in the world I’ve ever permenantly regretted watching was a documentary on HBO many, many years about animal cruelty, including a scene about eating cats in Japan. They showed the entire process, including dunking the (live) cat into boiling water, peeling the skin off from the head, then throwing the still living, twitching, and skinned cat back in the water. It took about ten seconds, all told.
If ever there was a need for a stronger disclaimer than “this may be distubing to some viewers”, that was it. It’s been at least fifteen years, and I still can’t get that scene out of my head. I either didn’t watch or don’t remember the rest of the show.
I would like to contribute the inflation method. Insert a high pressure air nozzle of some variety in the cat between the skin and connective tissue, then inflate the skin. The skinless cat may be pulled from the circumcised rectal opening, or one made in the head.
This method offer the added advantage of the “fwhoop” noise.
Allow me to apologize Zeldar. No should know better than I the necessity of keeping an open mind. Creativity flourishes with the least constraints. Please continue your valuable, and now, much more appreciated work.
There are other threads dealing with animal cruelty. Please visit those. This thread regards practical methods of skinning a cat. We have never specified anything about the cats being alive or dead or Schrodingered.
This is interesting but overlaps other methods. This could have similar importance as the ‘Max Torque Inversion’ though. Please perform more research and provide more detailed instructions. My experience in this area with fowl indicates it is not a simple procedure with turkeys, but not to difficult with ducks. The ‘fwoop’, though irrelevant to distinqushing this method to others, is certainly a practical advantage.
Also, you do not seem to understand what part of the anatomy circumcision is performed on. However, you might want to open another thread to introduce these new concepts. I suggest GQ.
Upon further consideration, I feel that the Inflation Method ought to be distinguished from previously mentioned methods based on the merit of its ability to separate skin from cat in such a way that leaves both articles in exceedingly good condition, in contrast to (for example) the methods put forth by Zeldar.
I want to encourage this line of reasoning. In fact, Peking Duck is known to be best prepared with the aid of air compressor. Air pumped under the skin helps seperate the skin from the fat layer underneath, resulting in athin crispy skin in the final product. My research into cat anatomy indicates that cats have loose skin, which would be conducive to this method. The advantage you mention, of leaving the skin and the remainder of the cat largely intact, does represent a unique characteristic of your method. Combined with the inital steps of the Inversion, this seems to be the best method so far, in terms of minimum damage to the cat.
FastIdiots, your dedication has paid off. The ‘inflation’ method is now factored into Cat Inequality along with RitterSport’s ‘extrusion’ method.
Ways of Skinning a Cat > 15 exclusive of variants using the Max Torgue Inversion
Additional note: tr0psn4j asked for pictures. I have been hesitant to include such because of the danger of having this thread infiltrated by dead cat fetishists, who have no interest in scientific research. If the serious contributors request it, I will add links to very informative sites.
Your post at first glance appears to create a paradox. It is difficult to ignore the sage words of the paramount rock band of the Great Age. Following the enormously influential albums Aqualung and Thick as a Brick, A Passion Play completed a trilogy of transcendent conceptual opi.
But I digress. This is in opposition to the well established, and now, codified within this thread, knowledge that there is more than one way to skin a cat.
However, as previously noted, this is applied science, and A Passion Play deals with an allegorical story of the life beyond, which would be considered in the discipline of theorical cat skinning. In addition, the phrase ‘All of this and some that’s’ seems to indicate that it is speaking of cumulative methodology addressed in singular form.
For those reasons, and that these euphonic poets were referring to elements of life that may not have included the skinning of actual cats, I would have to say that your contribution of lyrics does not actually contradict the basic assumption.
I thank you for your contribution to the effort. But I will also warn others that reference to a certain musician of the same era, who once had a feline component to his name, will not be so well received. Great music must always be considered, but pop stars have no place in science.
May I propose that any method specifically listed in 50 good ways to skin a cat be disqualified as plagiaristic, including any that I myself have proposed? I have yet to check the list for such breaches of etiquette and scientific ethics, so I realize I’m advocating that some methods I thought of may not be original. It may be worth a side note that I just now located the link (and a list of others less specific to our objective) by way of a simple Yahoo! search on “ways to skin a cat.”
While that rule should be put in effect straightaway, I suggest, I see nothing morally repugnant to branching off from any of the items in the list with some embellishment or tweaking that would rise to the level of a “new method.”
This is purely at the discretion of the OP and other fellow investigators, but my vote would be to reduce the list in this thread to “pure new methods.”
Besides, that would make this more of a real challenge to the superior minds at SDMB!
If atmospheric re-entry is disqualified by reason that it results in total cremation, I suggest an earthbound alternative: nail cat’s feet to floor. Subject cat to wind in excess of hurricane force until cat’s skin is removed.
Additional methods that have occurred to me:
Slippage. Hang cat by the neck until dead. Leave cat in a bug-free environment for a suitable period of time. Natural skin slippage will result in the outer layer of skin being sufficiently loose that it may be pulled off with minimal effort.
Self-abrasion. Short-circuit pain centers of cat’s brain. Shave cat. Cover cat’s skin with something delicious. Allow cat to groom itself until all skin is abraded away. Reapply delicious substance as necessary.
Centripetal force. Create a circular incision around cat’s neck. Grasp tail firmly and swing cat around and around your head, screaming appropriately (such as, “HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY, HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!”) to maintain speed and stamina. Cat will eventually be ejected from its skin.
I’m working on something using lasers or reflected sunlight; I will post an addendum when complete. By the way, it’s “Torque” with a “Q”. I got the name off some nut.
I’m not sure why you want to elimanate the actual methods of skinning a cat listed on that site.The ‘vacuum cleaner’ method might actually be a distinct method, and the ‘phaser’ suggestion could be developed into a qualifying method.
I won’t override your suggestion. Let’s see what the other contributors think about it.
I do agree that we should challenge our minds. It would be easy to list the obvious ways to skin a cat. The thorougness of our work should be our hallmark. When we publish the final form of cat inequality, it should have a number that people can cite with confidence and credibility.
More fine work Max.
First, I apologize for misspelling your name. Cut and paste is a danger to scientific recording because it propogates errors. That requires greater vigilance to avoid such errors at the outset. I will endeavor to do better in the future. Spectre of Pithecanthropus, our most gracious moderator here in IMHO, has corrected most of my mistakes, and I thank him for doing so.
I think the ‘slippage’ technique requires some input from someone with experience in the decomposition of hanging cats. My first thought would be that the skin and innards would decompose to the point of uselessness before the skin could be so readily removed.
The ‘self abrasion’ method would simply fall under the general ‘abrasion’ category. Having the cat perform the actual operation doesn’t actually distinquish it. Just as if a cat tied the string to a tree branch and jumped using your own ‘inversion’ technique.
We are all awaiting a specific form of ‘laser’ removal, or the use of any other form of focused energy. Zeldar’s cite references a ‘phaser’ method, which I hope you will investigate as well. All of these methods would need some level of detail that would describe how to avoid destruction of the entire cat.
It would appear that my suggestion wasn’t clearly presented. I was just trying to say that since the linked site’s methods were already there to be examined, whether any of us had done so, they should hold the “original” status and that any of our methods that were close enough to the same thing as one or more on that list, ought to be disqualified as copies. That list, plus our own new methods would go toward the complete inequality solution. Of course, some of the items on that list are just silly and ought to be tossed as serious possibilities.
However, if one of us were able to take one of the silly methods and enhance or tweak it beyond silliness, then I think it would be fair of our team to claim credit for the production of a viable non-silly method.
Again, I urge this to be regarded as a suggestion or proposal, with other members of the SDMB exploratory team having final authority of what our own rules ought to be.
If TriPolar demands more hypothetical postulation, I shan’t be the one to deny it. My thinking (based on many humans, in a situation I won’t discuss in this thread other than to say that it was unpleasant and I didn’t cause it) is derived from the observation the carcasses tend to become rather dessicated after the fats and oils are rendered away (and protein - aka, skin, hair, and nails - along with them).
Subsequently, the flesh and organs burn away fairly rapidly if kept over significant heat. So, as a nod to the GQ conversation regarding getting a “clean” dove’s skull, that could be the next logical step.
This topic is interesting. And gross. Which reminds me of my days working in a pathology lab - “the subject’s genitals are grossly unremarkable”; Og, I hope no one autopsies me and puts that in writing… :dubious:
I had been looking for potential methodology in the dove thread, but boiling would seem to leave only the bones intact. I have been considering your fire suggestion though. There should be some way to incinerate the skin of a cat while leaving the carcass otherwise intact. If the intent is to cook the carcass, or continue the process leaving the skeleton as with the dove, any application of heat may do. But a controlled flame that reduced just the skin might be more useful in general cat-skinning applications.
I did wonder if inserting a heating device in the center of the cat’s body could cook the meat at the proper temperature to cause it to ‘fall apart’ as a slow cooked roast would, without resulting in destruction of the skin. Perhaps your experiences would allow you provide the specifics necessary to include this heating method.
On Dirty Jobs they skinned a cow by first filling it up with air from an air compressor. The air separated the skin from the flesh and then they were able to use a knife to skin it in a traditional manner, but way faster. I’m sure it would work with a cat as long as you don’t pop it.
I think you are right, and do did FastIdiots, who documented the ‘inflation’ method for us. You showed great ingenuity by using analogous reasoning in the adaptation of cow skinning methods for cats. I’m sure we all would appreciate your futher contributions to our effort.