[Mod note: I’m not sure this goes here. Even though I feel it might be a poll of sorts, I’m really looking more for anecdotal advice to discuss and it certainly seems mundane and pointless to me. If you do have to move, my apologies for the screwed up choice.]
Despite all my problems, I think I’ll eventually try out this dating thing again.
::: shudder :::
However, I’ve got enough baggage to make Samsonite a mint if they designed ‘my line.’
Anyway, my questions (I hope) are simple… how much is too much? How much is still not enough to send someone screaming into the night? If you can be specific, what would cross the line for you and what would be acceptable?
I guess that’s it. Unless I’m inspired by another Doper to think of something else.
P.S. This query is open to anyone’s opinion. Those who are out there right now perservering the wilds and those already committed. Everyone’s perspective is much appreciated.
In my humble or mundane and pointless opinion that I must share, the maximum amount of baggage depends on how well the baggage-bearer has dealt with it.
Having a “past” is one thing, if you’ve moved on and learned from it. But even minor past personal problems can be too much of a burden in a relationship if the person hasn’t fully processed and gotten past them.
Someone with a lot of baggage who has learned a lot about themselves from dealing with it may be more attractive and better able to sustain a relationship than someone who doesn’t have many problems, but also not much life experience.
RickJay, fortunately, I have no intention (I don’t think) of telling anyone anything until (and IF) it’s verging on the serious. 'Cause that would be way too much for sure to deal with early on. I’d disappear like crazy from me if I were in that situation.
And to Miss Violaceous, I’d like to believe I’ve learned and grown from what all I’ve experience. Or at least, that’s one of the comforts I’ve had dealing with the giant “Kick Me” sign tattooed on my ass. I’m still not sure that’d make me more attractive to a potential suitor :eek: , but I’d hope that maybe it would come across as making me wiser.
Of course, maybe that’s shooting a little too high. How about just better at being too stubborn for my own good?
Thanks to you guys so far. I’m out for a while to see my Adams family. I plan to return soon though and get some more good suggestions.
Could we at least get some idea as to what KIND of baggage we’re talking about here? Are we talking about some failed relationships, some suffered abuse, some weirdness, a divorce, outstanding warrants for your arrest, you’re Price Harry’s real father, what? No details needed, but what SORt of baggage and why do you seem so concerned about it?
Well, I swear that DNA test ruled me out as a possibility where Price is concerned. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Roughly though, there’s been much mental illness that then led to a failed marriage and a subsequent affair in the process. Sprinkle into the above mixture a lot of things that go along with it… like depression, suicide attempts and psych hospital stays, and more therapists than one can count, all over about a ten year period. Then there’s my more-insane-than-me family, a bankruptcy, a humongous weight gain and loss, and just now, a re-emergence into society as a functioning, contributing member after being agoraphobic for most of the aforementioned time. Not to mention that I no longer am able to offer any(?)thing other than the ubiquitous “good personality.” That about sums it up in a nut shell or four.
Lots of other shit too, but I think y’all get the gist.
And Duckster, typically only the kitchen sink. When it’ll fit into my backpack, that is.
