NT (It’s an embarassing story)
Well, my count was a 32+ second stream, right after watching Return of the King.
Since this is GQ and all:
I seem to remember reading the average quantity is roughly 400ml, increasing to as much as 600ml if you have been drinking heavily.
If you are looking for a maximum value for the largest quantity of piss in a single ‘go’ , I fear you may be out of luck. Don’t think Guninness have recorded that particular record yet…
I’ve heard the half-litre mark as an average human bladder size. However, from personal experience, if I’m on a night out I can normally have three (or sometimes even four) pints before I have to “break the seal”! Even allowing for some beer staying in the stomach I think the first visit must constitute about a litre!
My cross-country coach in high school drove from northern Vermont to Delaware, where his wife was giving birth to his first son, without stopping. It was the middle of the night, so be brought a Thermos of coffee with him to stay awake. His story is that he was so fixated on how long the trivial things were taking that by the time he got to the hospital, he was timing every little thing so he’d know what he was doing when his son was born. He said that he was in near-agony by the end of the drive, and timed himself at just over one minute.
After telling this story, he challenged any of us on the team to hydrate enough that a one minute pre-race piss was necessary. I managed to break the minute mark once in college. It’s not an easy feat.
After surgery once, they took out my catheter.
About 8 hours went by and I still couldn’t pee. I think the pain killers have this effect on people.
Eventually they had to put a catheter in me because I thought I would burst. They took out 800 ccs (the receptacle was graduated). Let me tell you. That’s a TON of urine.
However, I believe I have a remarkably small bladder, or at least a high sensitivity to having urine in it. If I’m out with a group of 6-8 people drinking, its not uncommon for me to make more trips to the bathroom than the rest of the party combined.
So, if you have a large bladder and a tolerance for discomfort, I’d believe someone can get up to 1 liter, but if you get the feeling like I had in the hospital, there’s NO WAY you would allow yourself to be at that level of discomfort if you had a choice (like in a movie theater or at a ballgame).
My brother swears he can hit the three minute mark on a regular basis. At 6’7" 270lbs he does a lot of things big though. Also, a time doesn’t give you an amount.
I’m wondering how hard it would be for an average guy to pee, oh say, 64 ounces.
Due to the way the kidneys work, you could probably, in principle, “pee” continuously if you drank a lot of fluids, and replenished as you urinated.
The first stage of producing urine is simply a physicical ultrafiltration of the blood, which is a continuous process. This filtering only allows water and very small molecules and ions (up to a few hundred daltons, depending on charge) to pass. The rest of the kidney concentrates the urine (reclaiming water), actively excretes some classes of compounds and actively or passively resorbs others. The path from the glomeruli (the thousands of tiny balled-up filters) to the outside world is a continuous open tube, except for the well-known bladder sphincter, so you could “leak” as fast as you filter, bypassing all the rest of the processes.
Offhand, I can’t think of any hard limit on the rate of production of urine, short of physiological shock from severe acute fluid overload, but I’m sure there are some.
DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME! A high rate of urine production and excretion can upset your blood electrolytes (since your kidneys wouldn’t have time to resorb them) This could be fatal, and has strong potential for extreme physical discomfort unrelated to the “peeing” itself. Imbalances in potassium and other ions can cause muscle spasms in voluntary and involuntary muscle – including the heart. Other effects, too numerous to mentions, are also possible - none good.
Well… it’s not like I’ve normally measured it or anything, but I’d estimate in the hundreds of gallons.
Admittedly, that’s several times a day over several decades, so it’s not like it’s a big accomplishment or anything.
I hope this is of some help.
My personal record is, if I remember correctly, 1:45 of uninterrupted, highly pressurized urine. (I was in the woods at the time, so I measured how far I could pee, too…but I won’t bore you with that.) The closest I’ve come to that record since then is 1:32. I’m a little hesitant to believe that anybody could regularly hit the 3:00 mark, but I don’t doubt that passing the 2:00 barrier is achievable with the right combination of training and biology.
We diabetics have an unnatural advantage in any pissing contest:
The week I was diagnosed, I was drinking two quarts of cranberry juice every morning. You see, I thought I had a UTI, and was self-medicating. (That’s another story altogether. [NSFW? YMMV]) I did not know I had type II diabetes, although I would have figured it out soon enough. For, you see, I couldn’t sit at my desk for five minutes without running to the bathroom and urinating copiously. And I was constantly thirsty. Fortunately, that condition only lasted two and a half days.
My doctor’s office visit was on a Wednesday afternoon. They had me pee in a cup… “no problem, doc. How much ya want?” I later heard thru the exam room door the assistant say “Doctor, his Glucose is Four.” And my doc says, “Are you sure? Dip it again.” Then he comes back and tells me my blood sugar was more than 400 mg/dl. Four times normal. And it was probably over 500 earler that day. Much higher and they would have hospitalized me.
During that time, I was regularly consuming 2-liter bottles of gatorade, and entire 12-packs of beer, all in one evening. And at times, I could easily refill one of those 2-liter bottles far more than halfway with one go, if I waited until my bladder was uncomfortably full.
I’m well under control now, diet and exercise and the loss of significant amounts of weight have helped dramatically. And I certainly don’t pee nearly as much, although some mornings, after five or six cups of coffee, I recall that week…
Two minutes, ten seconds. Not high pressure, but still mighty impressive.
I was working on a project, and in the midst of a long train of thought. I didn’t want to interrupt it by going to the bathroom, so I just kept on working until it became unbearable.
Often have I asked myself that very question, particularly when it’s very late on a cold night, I’m tired, and my bed is warm and comfortable, but my stupid fucking bladder suddenly decides (often for no discernible reason, and only after I’ve decided to go to bed) that it suddenly needs to be emptied every FIVE FUCKING MINUTES! AAARRRGGGHHH! :mad: It seems to do this sort of thing far more often in winter than summer too: just another bit of evidence that Life has a truly sick sense of humour sometimes.
Often have I asked myself that very question, particularly when it’s very late on a cold night, I’m tired, and my bed is warm and comfortable, but my stupid fucking bladder suddenly decides (often for no discernible reason, and only after I’ve decided to go to bed) that it needs to be emptied every FIVE FUCKING MINUTES! AAARRRGGGHHH! :mad: It seems to do this sort of thing far more often in winter than summer too: just another bit of evidence that Life has a truly sick sense of humour sometimes.
Um… excuse the apparent double posting there. I attempted to stop the first post from going off when I suddenly noticed that I’d needlessly repeated the word “suddenly” in it, but evidently, I wasn’t quite quick enough…
When desperate, I can half-fill a 1.5-litre water bottle…
My personal record is also about 1.5L. I know this because I had to go really bad when driving to a camping spot because I had drank 2 1L bottles of diet pepsi (it was a long drive). I urinated into the first 1L bottle and filled it up, and got about half way through the second.
Mind you, this is not normal, this was when I was just about to burst I had to go so bad. Normally I would go more frequently with less volume, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
Yep. Been there.
What’s really impressive is when you hold up the 3/4-full 2L bottle and see for yourself precisely how much volume it really occupied…
“That was just inside me? Holy $#!% No wonder my bladder felt like it was going to explode!”
After a movie once, I literally clocked myself at 2:30.
Pardon the girl busting into this guy party, but when I have been holding it for a very long time, the muscles can’t relax when I try to go, and it can take a very–very long time to empty my bladder.
When I took animal physiology in high school, the lecturer came up with some information that the average pair of human kidneys can produce a maximum of 16 mL of urine per minute.