Starting at about puberty and spordically throughout my 64 years I have found it neccessary to try and change things about myself that are deeply inbedded in my personality or habits. To some degree I feel I have been successful at this but to another degree I feel the changes were more superficial and always ready to rear thier ugly heads. I feel like I have to live as an actor until I finally become the character I am portraying. I tend to use models that I admire for one reason or another as a basis for my character. Presently I have a lot more time on my hands and find myself missing my original self but I have this fear that if I take a step back everything will cave in and I will regret it. Is thinking like this odd or unique? or do a lot of us go through this?
This is better suited to IMHO than GQ.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
I’m just a sample size of one, but I have nuked to ashes the following complexes & tendencies in myself, for starters:
Severe depression & negative thinking
Inferiority complex
Procrastination
Obesity & an addiction to junk food (by sticking rigorously to a weight loss program)
Addiction to video games (I only play racing sims anymore)
I don’t anticipate any of that coming back, at all. I am still a bit of slob (working on it).
I’ve also become a morning person this year (usually up by the crack of dawn) after being an evening person for most of my life. My philosophy on all this is that people can often talk a lot about change, but they can be so deeply attached to various addictions that they can’t literally imagine going without them, and moreover they become such a part of someone’s identity that people can’t possibly imagine what they will replace them with if they do let them go. But once you learn to release just one thing, the rest become progressively easier.
HoneyB, nearly all of what you write goes for me too. The only thing that doesn’t is that I don’t miss the old me, at least not in the ways I changed him. I miss the physical energy and health, but not the rest. I’m 55.
A lot of traits tend to fall in the 40-60% genetic range. However I don’t know if you can say the other 40-60% is under conscious control.
Even as far as genetics go, there is still epigenetics. I know from personal experience when I meditate and take nutritional supplements (B vitamins, lithium aspartate, fish oil, etc) I am calmer. When I wear cologne with pheromones I get issues with rage. So you can change what genes are activated in your body based on your stress levels, diet, lifestyle, etc.
As time passes and science gets better we will get better at changing ourselves. But right now I’d say we don’t have a lot of power. A lot of our personality seems to come from genetics, environmental factors that aren’t really under our control and the environment in which we were raised.