How Much Does a Turd Weigh?

I mean I get that there will be lots of variation based on the “provider’s” age, diet, eating habits, bowel habits, size, etc. But in general, how much should a deuce from a 30-year-old, 200-pound male with a once-daily poop habit and a healthy diet weigh?

1-3 pounds on average.

Weigh yourself.

Take a duece.

Weigh yourself.

Not much more complicated than that.

Fluids could be 1-2 pounds extra, too.

Note on us of word ‘average’ : This means some are more and some are less, so the average is 1-3. More or less is still ‘normal’. Average does not mean normal.

:smiley:

1-3 lbs? Unless you are lumping in urine to the weight as well that’s a pretty massive load. I’d guess most dumps are well under a pound.

So, is anyone willing to take up the challenge of defining a ‘standard turd?’
:smiley:

I’ve actually done the weigh myself-drop a deuce-weigh myself thing, and the results have been ambiguous. Generally there is no change, sometimes there is a weight increase. Of course, household scales aren’t known for their razor-sharp accuracy, either.

My god thats bigger then a bag of sugar !
How bigs your arse ?
And you’re also pissing a pint or two pints on average.

I most definitely am not going to use any toilet you’ve just been in !:eek:

How long is a piece of…

Anyway a scientific study of 1000 Iranian individuals returned a mean stool weight of of 349±131 g, with a median of 320 g (Hosseini-Asl and Hosseini 2000). Western stools are somewhat smaller, typically 80-120 g/day.

349 grams is roughly 0.8 pounds, so an average of 1-3 pounds per deuce seems a bit high.

Aren’t we talking about a single stool? Now, having seen a full wrap around turd that was bigger than imaginable, I would say that a larger than one pound turd is possible. I’m a partial owner of a commercial building and I’ve been assigned janitorial duties on more than one occasion. I do not spend an inordinate amount of time looking at turds. I think most people shit multiple turds per event.

Here’s a site with one pound sausage links, just for comparison purposes. Check out the one next to the apple.

:D:D

Unfortunately the Iranian study dealt with the coloproctological standard of mean daily stool weight, rather than individual stool form, and weight subdivisions thereof. The Bristol Stool Scale is a relatively recent advance in the field, providing a means of quantitatively reporting stool shape, and providing an approximation of transit time. However information regarding their proportionate occurrence within a population, and individual component weights, is, thus far, an area of science that remains undetermined. The worldwide range of mean daily stool weight is between 72 and 470 g/day.

Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary says the average for healthy adult men is 100 to 200 grams a day. My digital scale says I just crapped 189 grams. Good thing I didn’t have that third helping of beans yesterday or I’d be unhealthy.

Heh.

After giving the OPs question some thought and purely in the interests of science I decided to find out.

Unfortunately because I had ample pints of falling down water and a ruby last night, I’m still on the bog after 25 minutes.

Just as soon as I’m done I’ll report back, don’t wait up;)

Howard Stern had a 24 hour “crapathon” contest.

“High Pitch” Eric won with, I believe, 12 ounces. The guy is pretty fat, over 250lb.

I tested my daily constitutional today on my digital scale. Stepped on it several times after urinating and it reported a weight of 165.8. Immediately post-evacuation 165.3. I would call today’s stool average in terms of size, perhaps a little bit on the light side. If my scale is reasonable accurate, I can easily beat 12 oz. I would guess I’ve laid 24 oz and bigger in my life several times (though there were extenuating circumstances like constipation or a gigantic 48-hour pork eating binge in Memphis and its environs).

Is the OP working up to a new variation of the henway joke?

My brain went in a totally different direction as I read that.

What happens to a turd deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore–
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?