What is the largest amount of excrement that a person can release in one sitting?
How do you measure? Diameter? Length? Weight? Perhaps, Odor?
Weight
Bono.
I thought Randy dethroned him.
Hot hot hot.
It is clear that the OP has neither dogs nor small children; both of which appear to be able to produce more than their body weight in shit in a single sitting.
I can only offer some vaguaries, but I think you’re going to struggle to get firm answers to this one.
That said, I believe that the average person poops once per day and the average weight is about one pound*
As there is a pretty direct correlation between body weight and poo volume (Vp), and the average US adult is about 180lb, let’s round a bit and assume 1oz per 10lb. I really do wish I were using metric units, but I’m far too lazy to convert.
We know there have been some truly massive people, with record weights well above 1000lb- I think around 1400 was the record. Of course, at the extreme bounds I don’t know whether there are any quantum effects. But assume the linearity holds, that would be a 140oz bomb. Or around 8lbs. Holy shit.
However, I think we’ve all skipped a day here or there for some reason- illness, too much cheese… I was once on a work trip and due to travel issues just wasn’t able to sync up toilet availability and urge, so by the third day I thought I might have the record. So in that case, our 1400lb person could, after a day or two, have maybe 20lbs in the chamber? Seems kind of hard to believe, but who knows…
*My knowledge of human poop and pooping habits comes from a stint working with a microbiome biotech, so no cites, just what I remember.
When I read Nordhoff and Hall’s Men Against the Sea as a twelve-year old I recall reading with horror someone delivering a nine-pound… specimen after his first good meal in something like 48 days.
[Moderating]
As a reminder, we shouldn’t be giving joke answers in GQ until there’s been some serious effort to answer the question. And yes, I know that this is an odd question, but… well, have you ever read any of Cecil’s columns?
As a public service, can I caution generally against googling <largest ever shit>? However, I did it so you don’t have to, and found a turd with it’s own Wikipedia page.
(Sorry, Chronos, but it had to be done.)
j
As a related aside, I was equal parts fascinated and horrified to learn of the Bristol Stool Chart. Perhaps we should start a poll to see where the SDMB community tends to fall on this. :eek:
The microbiome company I referred to? The coffee room was full of mugs with the Bristol Stool Chart on them.
You’d think dozens of scientists working on poop (we used to get daily deliveries) would grow weary of poop jokes, but no. They did not.
Gawd yes.
We had a pug that could out crap a horse!
How so much excrement came out of such a little dog I will never figure out! And he did this at least twice a day and it was multiple times more than the amount of food he ate. WTF?
Poop jokes aren’t my favorite, but they’re a solid #2!
It’s cute that you think that’s NOT already been done at least once.
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=837831&highlight=Bristol
Heh. That was a classic.
No cite, but I’d think that fecal production would scale more linearly with body surface area rather than body weight.
Any biologists in the building?
I also think that if you are constipated, the stools get drier, so you wouldn’t just add the same weight each day.
Indeed! I found it interesting, assuming the poop of Dopers is consistent with that of the general population, that your poll produced a close-to-normal distribution. There’s a joke there, I know it, but it’s not coming to me!
Well, as it happens I have a Biology degree, but it’s only a bachelors and I’ve been in middle management for 25 years
However, I would think that each kg of body mass requires a set number of calories, and so intake requirements would be fairly linear. The volume of excrement would be a function of diet (what’s digestible, what’s taken up) and some efficiency.
I would, however, assume that there’s a base caloric requirement for the various organs, such that after a certain BMI most of the additional weight would be fat cells and skin, and that these may require a different caloric maintenance than brains, liver, etc. This is all just speculation on my part, but just to say that I’m sticking with it being a function of weight and not surface area.