A YouTube ad popped up, and I idly watched part of it. A beardo was claiming most humans had from 5 to 20 pounds of shit onboard, and that that was the source all sorts of maladies. Like all this shit just sits there (somewhere). Up to 8 meals can be backed up at one time, he claims. I think he’s the one who’s full of shit.
That’s absurd unless you have persistent constipation (which has happened, rarely). I have done prep for two coloscopies and there is nowhere near that much in the pipeline.
If you’re eating 2.5 pounds of food per meal, you might have bigger problems.
Claims of this sort are commonplace among the woo crowd and in legends about celebrities who supposedly died of/with vast amounts of poop clogging their intestines (John Wayne is said to have had 40 pounds of impacted fecal material, Elvis 60 pounds).
While one’s G.I. tract can largely shut down at the end of life while the body struggles to keep more vital systems going, the amount of bodily waste present in such circumstances falls far short of the amounts alleged (sadly, I have firsthand autopsy experience to confirm it).
Wooists make up this shit and accompanying claims about how we are being done in by imaginary poop toxins, in order to sell us diets and products intended to keep our bowels moving like an express train.
Eating sensibly and consuming adequate fiber doesn’t have the allure of ColonBlast 1420. Or Super Colon Blow.
The thing is instead of buying the diets and products sold by the purveyors of woo, you could just do the prep for a colonoscopy. I think some gastroenterologists have their patients use OTC laxatives, so it should be a cheaper option. Surely there wasn’t five to twenty pounds of fecal material when my doctor had that camera up my ass?
The general notion that we contain nasty stuff that needs to be removed somehow to improve our health is psychologically attractive, and exploited by a shit load of woo merchants. Superfoods that get rid of “toxins”, doing a “purge”… and I just picked a random on-trend healthfood item, added the word enema to a search… and sure enough you can buy a “wheatgrass enema” kit.
Ironically, so far as I’m aware none of these things have any evidence to support them… but the fecal transplant does.
The Mütter Museum has the colon (actually a case of megacolon) of a man who died with 40 lbs of feces. The linked photo does contain nudity.
I live in Phily and have been to the MM a few times. I highly recommend it.
20 pounds of shit is about two gallons. Grab two gallons of milk as a point of reference; get a sense of their volume, and try to imagine what girth you would take on with that much extra volume distributed inside your abdomen (above and beyond the volume already occupied by your internal organs). Most humans don’t have that kind of room to spare.
Verily, there is nothing new under the woo-sun. Thread from 2000:
My particular contribution to that thread:
And then the follow-up thread just a year later, in 2001:
“Feeling sluggish? Weighed down?”
“Drink a tall glass of Metamucil™ at least three times a day, and with just barely enough warning to reach the toilet* you’'ll discharge the 80 pounds of poop jamming up your colon, leaving you toxin-free and doing the Happy Dance around your kitchen!”
“Comes in Regular, Lemon-Lime and Third-Stage Booster Rocket.”
*unless you’re stuck in traffic on I-5.
20 lbs. worth?
Don’t forget the claims that red meat remains undigested in your gut for < insert number > weeks/months/years. Yet, if you eat corn for supper tonight, I expect you’ll see evidence of it in the bowl tomorrow. So I guess your gut has a meat waiting room?
The question I’d like to ask these woo-merchants is “What toxins?” I’ve never seen it specified in any of their ads or “articles” and no one has ever spelled it out. And while I don’t claim any knowledge beyond 10th grade Biology class and maybe a Health class - don’t certain of our organs filter out bad stuff so we can excrete them? That is how the body works, right?? Well, assuming a healthy-ish body…
There aren’t enough eye-rolls.
I don’t want to lead the charge too far down this particular rabbit hole, but …
I don’t think it would be an unreasonable position to wonder aloud if the liver (as surrogate for the body’s detox systems) was ever evolved to deal with the ubiquity and profusion of chemicals in our modern world.
[Which shouldn’t, in any way, be interpreted to mean that I support any snake oil cures designed to deal with this ‘problem.’]
Sure, that’s a fair point. But then the merchants of woo should be able to identify the particular chemical that the liver isn’t able to handle, instead of the ubiquitous “toxin” which is their favourite all-purpose scare word.
Again: I am not a spokesperson for Woo, Inc., but … just as a timely and relevant f’rinstance … did you happen to catch this recent story ?
https://www.valisure.com/blog/valisure-news/valisure-detects-benzene-in-sunscreen/
Yes, and I read it. Because it identifies the chemical in issue, the consumer product where it is found, and the precise health concern it raises.
No mention of “You’ve got toxins in your body, so buy my woo product for perfect health!”
I’m reminded of the famous concert at Altamont Speedway:
The organizers were probably right to assume that security would be an issue. They were very wrong in their proposed solution, however.
Sometimes, people shine a light on something that truly is a problem. Whether or not those same people are doing anything to solve it, other than enriching themselves, is another discussion entirely.
Clearly the toxins come from all the chemicals that unsuspecting people ingest.
But don’t worry–just drink alkaline water, and detox your body, and you’ll be fine. 
Or drink “raw water.” Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard of, but apparently people do it.
Probably the same people who drink raw milk.