I overheard a conversation today, because well they shouldn’t talk so loud on a subway right?
Anyway the guy basically says, “A hundred bucks, OK I can loan it to you, but for that amount of money, before I do, I have to check with my wife.”
Now I realize that could be an excuse to get out of loaning someone $100.00 but I was wondering, to those who are married or have significant others, how much money could you loan your friend without “checking” (whatever your definition is) with your significant other?
Depends on the friend. If it was my best friend that I’ve known for 20+ years, I won’t need to talk to her about it, although anything over a grand she might want to know about. If it was someone I’ve known less than 5 years, probably around $100, although we would probably agree not to do it.
Hmmm, for buying household goods, I usually check with The Devil’s Grandfather for things costing more than $600. I guess I could loan a friend that much money without checking. I might query him on a lesser amount if he knew the friend better/longer than I.
Any friend I would loan money to would qualify for that much. Any that didn’t rate that much could get about a tank of gas, and that would be a gift rather than a loan. Some people you just know aren’t going to pay you back.
I wouldn’t have to “check” with my husband at all, but would tell him about it no matter what the amount was. I handle all of our finances (at his urging- he is bad with money) so he would be more likely to check with me to make sure we had it to loan if it was over say…a hundred bucks or so. More than that and the money is likely to be earmarked for a savings account or something so he would want “permission” (in quotes because he doesn’t need permission to access his own money, but he’d want it anyway) to take it from there.
Neither of us needs the other’s permission for anything like this. I’d only be limited by the amount I could afford. But if I was helping someone out who really needed help, I’d tell my partner so he could help out too.
I think it really depends on the person I was lending it to. If it was someone we’ve both known and trusted for a long time, I would let him know but not expect any disagreement if it was over $100.
It’s all dependent on the person, circumstances, and how long until I expected to get paid back. It would also depend if he specifically didn’t want me to tell my wife for some reason (perhaps because my wife would definitely tell his wife).
Either way, anything above the maximum you could get out of an ATM ($300) would be the limit, and even then, if it was anything more than about $100, he’d have to have a good reason why I shouldn’t mention it in passing to my wife (though I would only specially ask prior permission if I had to physically set foot in the bank)
Since we’re perpetually broke, the only reason I’d need to let him know in the first place is to see if we’d have enough money to cover it. But beyond that, friends I could get away with $50, while for family I might be able to go as high as $150.
I’d tend to use it as an excuse not to loan money. Good way to ruin friendships and family relationships. I guess I’d “loan” up to $1500 and consider it privately a gift if the person were important enough, and I’d definitely discuss it first with my wife because we’d have to treat it as a gift rather than a loan (based on a true story).
For real loans, I’d probably never exceed a hundred bucks, and I’d feel no reason to discuss it with my wife at all.
I don’t know if “permission” is the right word, but I would talk to my husband about handing out more than $100, and I’d tell him about any amount of loaned money above, say, $50. I’d expect the same from him. But really, we don’t tend to loan friends money, and if someone asked me for more than enough money to cover lunch I’d be a little taken-aback.
It depends on the person. I generally don’t lend money, so that’s not an issue, but if Airman’s sister asked for some money, I’ll give her more than she asked for because I know he’d not only be OK with it, he’d expect me to do it.
In the case of one or two close friends, I’d be OK with any amount we could afford - thousands if the need was sore and we had the money, for most other friends, I’d check with the missus if it was more than fifty pounds.
Don’t loan money to friends. Maybe a few bucks to cover lunch if they discover their wallet got left at home. Anything significant that I “sort of” expected back I’d talk over - and not truly expect it back.
Been there, done that. The real thing is it hurts when they can’t afford the $20 to pay you back, but can afford the gas to go visit friends out of state. I don’t need have my husband resent my friends, or resent my husband’s friends.
Yeah, that would be about my benchmark too. An old buddy of mine was in a pinch due to the recession last year and I covered his rent for one month during the lag between his last paycheck and unemployment insurance.
I let my SO know about it, and all she had to say was “Aw, poor Larry.” If Larry needed to me cover another month’s rent, I’d probably have discussed it with my SO to get her opinion and advice.
My SO has a couple charity case friends and he’s always letting me know post hoc how much he’s lent them. This is more of an “always-forgetting-to-whom-and-how-much” thing and I have a memory for that.
I don’t loan, I’ll give up to $500 or so, but that’s it. I hate loaning people money as it ALWAYS gets awkward for me after that.
