How much of a "looker" were/are you?

In My Humble Opinion
121

First, thank you for the kind assessment! I am personally struck by how much older I look with the beard grown out a bit. But I have an audience of one that matters to me, and it will stay grown out until she requests otherwise! (I think it is more curiosity on her part to see it bushy than preferring the look but I have no problem with either way.)

But the point of posting is on the quoted comment!

I’m also in no position to give dating advice given that I had fairly little experience in the pool and it was over four decades ago.

Still to me the point occurs even before the comment about the eyes being made. It’s the simple fact that mutual eye contact was made and sustained. As a young man it took a bit of practice to not get scared and look away when a woman looked back at a party. Not much chance for seeing if anything else clicks once I did that. And of course any looking away from me was rejection.

But a mutually made choice to sustain the eye contact is a mutually declared agreement that we each have a good enough initial impression and potential interest. Comments on kind eyes or comments about the music made next mattered less.

My WAG is that the assessment of your looks at that point is average to above because you made that initial cut, and the looks rating assessment will be retroactively adjusted based on what happens next. Hit it off and your looks score goes up to at least 8, if not 9. (No real person is a 10. :smile:) Don’t and you were always a 6 or less!

122

Sage comment.

Actually apropos, given that last evening at a bar over a combined total of maybe six hours or so, I had two of the most impressive conversations with two women of very different “tastes.”

As it happens they were both conversations about all sorts of things. First was with a woman who was married to another woman…we high-fived each other every time we agreed with each other about politics and social matters. Basically just a couple of barflies bullshitting and chatting and it happened we agreed. Which is not necessarily a given in a dive bar known for its pool tables.

Other woman, she happened to be a stripper getting off work, and for some reason, we just kept talking for about half hour or so. Turned out we had a lot of common interests and abilities. It didn’t even occur to me to try to get her number or anything…just…we had fun talking and…I do kind of regret not making some effort to keep in touch.

The other gal, she gave me her business card with her phone number, so even though that’s a no-go as far as “romance” (and, no it’s not a fake number!).

And, no, I’d not show up to this other gal’s place of work just to “say hi!”…if I knew where she worked…but that was about one of the more exhilarating thirty-forty minutes of intense conversations I’d had recently.

Not really a sexual component…she was a nicely done woman, with beautiful hair…and, perhaps understandably, since she was off work, she was well covered up about her body…

I’d have no idea how to “rate” her.

But I can say that the two of us wouldn’t have seemed suspicious were we “caught” making out in an alley or something.

Pretty much on the same “level” as far as attractive goes.

She had something extra, though, even though I never saw her body, and just in conversation. She had some things to say, and a kind of curiosity in her mind that was refreshing to me. And she wasn’t drunk or dancing mindlessly to whatever. Just like me, she was just, you know, off work and trying to decompress.

I’m sure she would have given me her number if I asked, but why would I have? We were just having a good time, with no jive.

And even if I asked, would I show up to where she worked just to say “hi!” No. Of course not.

But I hope to see her again. She knows I go to church this and that day and, if she asked around the bar, she’d figure out my schedule.

Hey, that’s her call.

But yeah, speaking about “lookers,” as in the OP, that was a nice recent example where me, with a five-day stubble carrying a sneaky pete pool cue before and after church seemed about a good match with a professional stripper…who, I assure you, is much prettier than anyone would accuse me of being. Even though we only talked, you know, face to face. Her body was well covered, and likely for good reason.

So that’s about all I know about my own “lookerness”…I can judge mostly by how much attention I receive. But I am a pretty vain egomaniac, so, how else would I judge?

123

I strongly disagree. My beloved is. Unfortunately, she has not given consent to share her photos with the Straight Dope.You will have to take my word for it.

124

Describe her.

125

That is very dificult for me to do in strictly factual measurements. I tend to get all poetic when I talk about her.

She has brown skin that I have been trying for years to descibe the exact shade of. She has brown eyes. She has long black hair. It is starting to go grey in places. However, this is hard to see because for decades she has been highlighting her hair with henna or hair dye. She has a piecring on the right side of her nose. Both ears are double pierced. She does not usually wear make up or nail polish.

She is thin and in good shape. I just realized I do not know her height. I can never remember her weight. If she gains 15 pounds. she is convinced she is a hippo. This makes me afraid to guess her weight.

I just remembered! I do have a photograph of her she has allowed me to share. It was taken at the Henri David Ball. It is a Haloween event. We have gone each year for I forget how long. Unfortunately, covid must have been a recent thing. She is wearing an n95. She has taken off the Bride Of Frankentsein wig. But her hair is still up in a bun. The Bride Of Frankenstein dress hides all her wonderful curves. The white make up she put on at the start of the evening has mostly come off. But you cannot really see the color of her skin other than ‘brownish’.

Imgur

I will have to see if I have any other photographs she has given me permission to post. Her Poison Ivy costume was much more flattering and form fitting. Though, in that costume all her visible skin is covered in green make up, The Catwoman-ish costume (she could not find a mask she liked.) was better still.

I shall have to look through my various online albums.

NOTE- The photo I linked to is on IMGUR. All the photos and videos I have there are work safe.

ETA

It looks like that could be it. While most of the images I have of my beloved do meet the guidelines for posting on the SDMB, she has not given me permission to post them on the internet. Bah

126

Well, you have an impressive sense of integrity.

And, if I may say in as non-lecherous a way as possible.

Yeah, your wife is indeed a ten if there ever was one! Just a stone fox.

Actually, she reminds me, just in that one photo, of this former coworker I had an immense crush on for, maybe a year or so until she returned to Peru for some family reasons nobody really knew about.

A native of Peru, very much married, and very much not only a good worker but also had a wild sense of humor, suffered fools not gladly at all, and I just adored her beyond all reason, knowing it would never have been possible.

127

Yeah, I’m surprised too.

She is not my wife - yet. I have made very clear my desire to marry her and live happily ever after. I have not, after a suitably dramatic and romantic spectacle, gotten down on one knee and offered her a ring. This is for three reasons. First, she still has some reservations. She sometimes worries I have too many problems (an argument could be made for that). Her mother absolutely despises me. There is no changing her mother’s mind about me. Finally, I have really weird taste in jewelry.I have repeatedly told her that we can have the ring custom made at Haloween, Henri David’s jewelry store. I am thinking a rose gold band with a floral motif and lavender as the stone. Her two favorite colors are gold and lavender.

128

I just want to add that (a) it takes a lot of confidence to post a picture of yourself, and (b) your confidence is justified. You have the look that typifies an educated intellectual, like a university professor or a physician – someone I’d like to have a conversation with in front of the fireplace with a snifter of brandy.

I’m a big believer in appearance as an important clue to the person’s inner self – it’s not 100% reliable, but generally works pretty well. I can look at Trump, for instance, and see the resemblance to a donkey’s ass and a corresponding level of intellect.

129

DocCathode, your description of your SO’s mother reminds me of my neighbor’s mother-in-law. The guy reminds me of you and his attributes draw people in in constructive ways. She hasn’t liked him for thirty years yet the marriage with children goes on swimmingly. Perhaps there’s hope for any couple.

130

Probably 3.5 to 4; not noticeably ugly, but not good.

131

I stayed most of the day at her parent’s house for about a week while her father was dying. It was mostly very unpleasant, but she needed me there. During that time, her mother never made eye contact with me. She bad mouthed me in Hindi to my beloved. I only know a few words of Hindi (all foods). But her tone, and my beloved’s exasperated responses (also in Hind) made it obvious. I saw her carrying a stool or ottoman or something and said “That looks heavy. Would you like me to carry it for you?” She looked at me for once and said “You have no idea what I can carry.”

While the woman I love has clearly inherited the booksmarts of her parents (As I said, besides English she speaks and reads Hindi fluently. She has a masters in writing. She works in advertising and search engine optimization, making three times what I make. She plays guitar, piano and is learning bansoura- the traditional Indian bamboo flute. She can really cook and bake). I am very thankful she is otherwise nothing like her mother.

132

Let’s put it this way … :smiling_imp:

133

I would rate myself as a 4 to the women I want to attract and a strong 8 to the type I want no part of. I am short 5’7" so that would automatically knock me down a few points, but I have always been well built and strong so I recover a couple of points there. I lost my hair at a very young age early 20’s. I am sure that took some points off but overall, I have never had a problem meeting women. I think the ranking system is useful for types I have no interest in anyway. In my 60’s the bad boy looks finally started to soften which worked to my benefit.

134

On a scale of 1 to 10, you score 0 in the category of “link that works in any of my browsers”. :frowning_face:

135

Having seen you in person, I will say you are quite wrong here, unless you were recently horribly disfigured in a tragic explosion that you forgot to post about.

136

Thank you, that’s kind of you to say. But, rather link HoneyBadger’s post, I’m certainly not attracting any romantic attention. Maybe it’s my personality.

137

AH! That’s the best post yet in this thread! LOL

138

yeah, I feel I moved up quite some ranks by most others in my age cohort becoming uglier (mostly: fatter) than me

… it’s mostly my face holding me back now

:wink:

139

As a young man: between 2 and 3. Nerd, somewhat below average height, shortsighted, socially awkward. No charisma at all. Invisible to women.

Today? As a happily married man with a successful career and more confidence… I suppose I might be described as a somewhat distinguished elderly gentleman.
I still play rock and roll sometimes though: just released a new album with an old friend.