What Eureka said. What is the opportunity cost. $18,000 invested in the market at 12% over 30 years is about $539,279. I guarentee you the ring will not appreciate that much. Plus, its her ENGAGEMENT ring - the only time you are going to be willing to sell it is if you divorce (in which case, it will be hers to sell) or if you are escaping Germany in 1939 - in which case it will be worth pennies since everyone will be pawning their jewlery to escape the Nazis.
I’m a girl, its an ugly ring.
Well, when it comes to engagement rings, she was wrong. A diamond engagement ring can be amazingly beautiful and when you put it on a beautiful woman, let me tell you, it’s a sight to behold.
But diamonds over $18,000 can wreck your marriage. You can buy a stunning, absolutely knock-you-on-your-ass enagement ring for a third of that price and put $12K towards a down payment on a house.
The guideline USED to be one month’s salary. Then they just started saying “Two months” in the commercials and everyone seemed to forget that it had always been one month’s. I went with up to two months but without borrowing.
No matter what, the quality of the primary stone is the most important thing. A high quality .75ct diamond will make a low quality 2 carat diamond look like a cereal box decoder ring.
I think you shouldn’t feel bound by the suggestions of the industry that is, after all, trying to get you to spend as much as they can wring out of you.
Pepper Mill wouldn’t have gone for a big, expensive ring – she wanted the money to be spent on the wedding itself, or as down payment on a house. Practical – one of the things I love about her.
That said, I still spent a lot of time looking for an engagement ring. I got one with diamonds and other precious stones worked into a pattern that I knew would have special meaning for her. She cried when she saw it. The fact that she loved it – and that I knew she would love it – was worth more than two months’ salary.
Give the lady a break. She said she liked it, she didn’t ask for it. Maybe she will be glad with anything she gets.
At any rate. Empty your savings account on that ring but don’t go a single penny into debt for it.
If she is otherwise fiscally responsible, and making her happy is worth more than the practical benefits of alternative uses of the money, then go ahead, knock yourself out, go put that shiny thing on her finger.
But if she is not fiscally responsible, or if that $18,000 could put a nice dent into your student loans, credit card bills, mortgage, etc., then I would consider suggesting to your future missus that maybe she should wait until your 25th anniversary or so to get a big shiny, and in the interim you two can pick out something else.
If she balks at this idea, run, and don’t look back.
For what it’s worth, I’m a girl and I like jewelry and diamonds. This is my idea of a lovely engagement ring. Eye-catching in a good way, and reasonably priced. I could buy 36 of them with what you’re contemplating plunking down on a Tiffany’s.
Fock, Gator, you only live once. Give the girl the ring.
I mean, you’re going into a business where your net income will range (in 2003 dollars) from $170,000-$300k. Assume you’re going to work for 35 years and you’ll be raking in a minimum of $6 million.
$20,000/6,000,000 = .003% of your lifetime earnings. Buy the damn thing. And get insurance.
And to all you people telling him to dump this girl because of the mere “sin” of wanting a $30k diamond: :rolleyes:
gatorman, are you active duty or going to active duty? (You mentioned the military is paying for your education.) Get down to your PX or BX or whatever they call a Navy exchange and look there. The military (well, at least AAFES) offers great deals on wedding jewelry. You will not believe how much you will save by doing it that way!
Not sure if the Tiffany thing is absolute in your situation. Talk with your fiancee and get that figured out, stat. Even if you can afford it, it sounds like you’re not 100 percent behind the idea. She should know that, and you both should come to a compromise about what is reasonable and what will make you both happy. (Personally, I don’t see why any woman who wants a fancy ring can’t chip in some of her own money towards the cost. Doesn’t have to be half, but at least that would show that the poor guy isn’t forking all the cash over himself.
Nice! Hats off to you, sir! Just don’t follow it up with Congo. Perhaps The Constant Gardener would be an apt followup.
My grandfather was an independent jeweler, and while it made him a good income (and he enjoyed the technical aspects of precious stones and the artistry in making settings for them) he had little more than contempt for the people who purchased them. His particular nemesis were engagement and wedding rings, and I believe the greatest horror in his life was watching some poor sap drain his bank account in order to purchase an Og-awful ring with some ginormous chunk of rock in it, selected strictly for the weight of the central stone with no concern toward the quality of the stone. I won’t go so far as to echo silenus’ sentiments (at least, not in public), but I’d have some very serious second thoughts about the fiduciary maturity of a woman who even suggests, much less demands, such an expensive piece of jewelry from a newly graduated fiance. If this is what she wants now, what is she going to expect once you’re married?
You have the chance to start married life free of debt, which is a pretty sweet deal. $30k would make a nice downpayment on a house with enough left over for a blowout honeymoon…or it makes a robber-bait door catcher on the to-be’s hand. Your choice, of course, but t’were it me, I’d have a sit down with the lass and talk about all the stuff that comes after the wedding and what that bonus that is coming to you could do for both of you.
And just to affirm previous statements, jewelry of any sort is a poor investment. Oh, it’ll accrue some value over time, but nothing like real estate, index funds, or even government bonds. Make any justification for it that lets you sleep, but calling it an financial investment is spurious reasoning at its most extreme.
Stranger
Oh, and whatever you do, don’t “fake it”. I know you mean that you’d get a functionally equivilent ring but not pay the premium Tiffany price, but (a) it’ll come out on the insurance assessment anyway, (b) she’s bound to find out sooner or later and feel disappointed/mislead/deceived, and © you don’t really want to start your marriage by lying about something that ought to be trivial, do you? If you think it’s insane (I’m using your words here) then you should be able to say so, else you’re going to get caught in the trap of never discussing your concerns about unreasonable demands, and regardless of how much you pull down, sooner or later the issue of “too much” is going to come up.
Stranger
I think another question that should be asked is “what is her income?”
If he spends the next year paying off the ring, will that matter, or does she already have the money for, say, a house down payment and living expenses?
I just finished watching this movie about half an hour ago. If I had liked diamonds before, I think that movie would’ve turn me off of them for good.
I would advise you to do your research on diamonds, and if possible, have a design made up by an independent jeweller with good quality stones. Size is not the most important thing, not by a long shot. Paying retail on jewellry is like giving money away - there is a huge mark up. Often it’s better (and cheaper) to buy a secondhand/estate ring with lovely stones and remake it into your own design. Then it is unique and special to you.
Of course if your future fiancee is set on a Tiffany’s ring, and you can afford it, go for it. Just be aware that you are probably paying extra for the name.
Meh, I still think they’re way overrated. Unless it’s an antique ring that’s been in the family-like your grandmother’s, or whatever.
Besides, it’s not the ring itself. I don’t care if the guy got it out of a gumball ring, if it meant something. I think George Burns spent about 20 bucks on a cheap ring for Gracie when they first got married, and she wore it until she died.
Which is another point - Most women I know wear their wedding bands - few wear their engagement rings once they’ve been married ten years - especially if they have solitaires. They aren’t practical rings to wear while you do anything - they catch. And most women I know are afraid of losing them, almost everyone knows someone who lost their stone or their ring.
Whether she wears it daily or not, you’ll be paying for it every year with a rider on your homeowners insurance.
Heh-heh…my name and my foul mouth have that effect on people. 
Mmm. I agree – there are women worth spending $30K on. They’re the ones who would never expect their fiancees to spend $30K on a fricking ring.
I haven’t seen any sign yet that **gatorman’s ** lady is demanding that he spend that much money on the ring. All he said was that she liked it. Maybe it’s more of an “if only I could have that one” thing. It’s his money, and of course his to spend if he chooses. That said, I actually like the ring he linked, but I have a large hand and gaudy stuff doesn’t look nearly as gaudy on me as it does on a smaller woman. Not that I’d want that ring–depending on where you live, that’s several house payments.
Maybe you could have her buy you something of the equivalent price. 
I’ll join the crowd suggesting a serious talk about finances. What are your immediate prospects? What are hers? If she will be kicking in on the house, the cars & the vacations–that does make a difference.
The Tiffany name impresses me, too. But even Tiffany has simpler options.
And their wedding rings are pretty fine, too.
Not true. What he said was:
What is his opinion on this?:
Quite aside from the cost of the ring (which for some, including your humble correspondent, is egregious, but opinions differ, although it should be noted that the o.p. clearly falls in the former camp) it speaks to a disconnect in expectations and values, and that underlie a more significant problem than finances.
Now, nobody here knows the o.p. or his fiancee personally, nor were we privy to the discussions. It’s entirely possible that she’s a sweet, non-digging lass who’ll accept the o.p. for “richer or poorer,” could really care less about the cost of the ring, and only made an offhand comment about how she “wants” that ring without any expectation of receiving it. (I’ve been told that women–a species more mysterious than the Giant Squid–often do this sort of thing. Wacky.) But from the o.p.‘s comments, it appears that she has an expectation of him plopping down middling five figures for an engagement ring. Even for someone with an eventual income in the $200k range, that’s a chunk of change, especially when he’s just starting out, and more worrying is the appearant lack of fiscal responsibility implied. Were it me in this situation, I’d be taking silenus’ advice, but then I can’t imagine spending that kind of dough on jewelry no matter what I bring home, and wouldn’t be suited to a woman who asked for such a thing anyway, so that’s a personal opinion suited for my own tastes, not to be confused with advice for someone else.
Stranger
Ah. Well, I’m still waiting for him to specify whether “really wants” means. “I like this a lot, but I’d be happy with something else,” or, “You better get me this one, buster, or you’ll be sorry.” I hope it’s the first. True, the OP did say he “think[s] it’s insane,” but he still seems willing to do it. If he really objects to paying that much for the ring, he needs to let her know and have the serious discussion about finances that many other posters have already recommended.
I really would like to know how the want was put to him by her.