I am most infatuated with a girl that I work with. She recently broke up with her boyfriend, and I decided to tell her how I feel. I did. Response: Nothing. She didn’t laugh, she didn’t look at me strangly, she didn’t smile. Just nothing. She basically left me hanging on a cliff. Ofcourse it was right when I was leaving work, so we both said our goodbyes, as usual, and I went on my way. The next week… nothing. She didn’t even mention it. I told her best frined what I did, and her reaction.
Her best friend: “Well, I think she just needs some time.”
Okay, fair enough. But how much time is enough time? Ladies, please gimme some suggestions on what I should do here.
Umm, sounds like she doesn’t share your feelings but didn’t want to hurt you. Like that thing we do when we don’t want to actually tell you that we don’t wanna go out with you anymore, so we just stop taking or returning your calls…it’s wussy & unfair, but sometimes we can’t help it.
You don’t want to date a girl you work with, anyway. As my dad says, you don’t dip your pen in company ink.
I gotta agree with Stella*Fantasia on this one. It sounds like she’s blowing you off. If you want to be sure, ask her out again. On an unambiguous date. Then you’ll know.
As for the general question, it depends on how old he/she is and how serious the relationship was. Some people rebound by dating immediately, others grieve for 1-12 months. There’s no simple formula, I’m afraid.
If she recently broke up with someone she may not be ready, prepared, in the mood, etc… to get involved again. The ball is now in her court and your heart will tell you when to stop waiting for her return.
Personally, I don’t get involved with people I work closely with - too awkward, especially if things end badly.
If she didn’t even give you any response, you may be wasting your time. But if you’re really smitten, broach the subject again in a few weeks.
As far as the original question, the time to recover from a relationship depends on a lot of things, and each one is different. I had a three year relationship that died a natural death - we both knew it had run its course when we broke up. It only took me a few weeks to get to the point where I felt “normal”.
OTOH, I had a very short (3 month) but very emotionally intense relationship that ended completely unexpectedly, and ended very badly; I was devastated. It took me longer to get over it than the whole thing lasted, which really surprised me. But it takes as long as it takes; there are no rules.
But the thing I’m afraid of is; what if she starts dating another guy before she’s had her “time”? I’d miss out on my chance. There are always guys hitting on her when she goes out. She’s always been really cuddly with me since we met. She’d always find some way to tickle me, or touch me. She always comes upi from behind and hugs me. I dunno. Maybe she’s just a close person.