(an homage to Rue de Day with a semi-serious question buried within)
Now, I’m not talking about tongue that used to be part of an animal but is now residing in Your Local Grocer’s meat display. In that case I wouldn’t even need to ask how much is too much… the obvious answer is ANY. I have always eschewed former-animal-tongue, partly because I can’t stand the thought of something being viserally able to taste me as I’m tasting it, and partly because I wouldn’t have a clue as to what to do with it. Do you chop it into pieces? Fry it? Boil it? Cover it in shake-n-bake? I’m shuddering just thinking about it.
No, this is about people tongue. Specifically, people tongue being used on you in an arousing manner. The tongue is still attached to its original owner, BTW. If it wasn’t it’d be even more creepy than wandering down the meat case, looking for a good slab of roast for dinner, and be suddenly faced with a pale, bloated, former-animal tongue.
I’m beta-reading some writings of a friend of mine. It’s a really good story… got action, adventure, intrigue, romance. And of course the suggestions of the best beta around (the reader, not the fish, 'cause fish can’t read). But some of the romance parts… disturb me. And as I was lying in bed last night, it suddenly dawned on me why. Too much tongue.
Once I had this minor epiphany (it wasn’t really a major epiphany, since I didn’t sit up in bed and yell ‘Ah-HA!’, which is good, because Mr. Bobkitty HATES it when I do that), I realized just how prevalent the over-use of the tongue is. And I started thinking (well, I’d been thinking before then, but now I just let the old mind out to wander)… am I the only one who thinks that the tongue, in certain situations, is over-used?
WAIT. I know the tongue is a Good Thing[sup]tm[/sup], so don’t just react and yell ‘OF COURSE THE TONGUE IS GOOD!! THE TONGUE IS SACRED!!’ I’m talking about select situations.
Okay. Let me walk you through this (I spent a very long time thinking this out last night, when I should have been sleeping. You owe me a little bit of patience).
Kissing is Nice. Add in a little tongue, and it’s not bad at all. Not too much tongue, though, 'cause then the drool comes which just eliminates all arousal. So a little tongue, not a lot, is a Good Thing.
Nibbling on the ear is Very Nice. But introduce the tongue, and it all falls apart. I can’t stand to have someone stick their tongue in my ear. So any tongue, in that situation, is a Bad Thing.
Little feather kisses over the face is also Very Nice. But NO TONGUE. How many people out there actually LIKE being licked on the face by another human??? (I’m leaving out animals again, because ironically I allow my dogs to lick my face without a problem) Tongue in this situation is a Bad, Evil, Nasty Thing. Yet it seems some people enjoy it… or enough that it appears in movies and stories as an arousing technique.
So, to sum up… Any area below the jawline is okay for tongues. Mouth, okay. Not the face, not the ear.
Am I alone in this? Are there others out there who also have a ban on Too Much Tongue? Or am I a total freak who just can’t understand the inherent benefits of being licked on the face?
Your thoughts (on this matter, cause there are other posts for you to put your other thoughts in, or you can just make up your own) are appreciated.
-BK