I’ve smooched with all types of female kissers over the years. Some are good. Others are really good. But two that I’ve known are unlike all the others. They are peck-kissers. Sure, they’ll mix it up with a little tongue action, but the core of their repertoire seems to be peck, peck, peck on the lips.
I don’t get it. It is not sexual, sensual or even romantic to me in any way. What gives with these women? Does this kissing really ring their bell? Are the Doper women out there that go for this style? Guys? If so, why?
I would guess that it’s one of two things: Either they’re not big kissers to begin with, or they find your kissing style overbearing. I’m a woman and I can’t stand sloppy kissing. If a guy has a really tonguey, wet style, I will sometimes use tactics like that to minimize the duration and intrusiveness of the experience.
I had one girlfriend before I met Mrs. RickJay, who I’ll call Beverley (because, well, that was her name.) Gorgeous woman, funny, outgoing, affectionate, perfect body, sexy as all hell, and experienced. And she could not kiss. At all. I don’t know what it was, but she did this half-pecking half-open mouth thing I can’t even begin to describe. It was weird. I didn’t say anything because it would have hurt her feelings.
Could be trying for the coy/cutsey type, but I am going with anti-slobber kissers. I hate slobbery kissers. You can get a good deep kiss going without slobbering!
Just thirding the suspicion that a woman who backs off to pecks may be trying to convey that the kissser is too sloppy. “Sucking face” is not a literal term.
Dated a girl who kissed like that-it drove me nuts. I had a feeling of either kiss or don’t, but get out of the in between zone. She also couldn’t simply hold hands. She had to rub part of my hand, like it was a lucky rabbit’s foot or something.
When you say “peck” do you mean like a peck on the cheek, or you just talking about no tongue? There’s a world of difference between the two, you know. Quick little cheek-type pecks either mean she’s not all that interested in kissing you, or she doesn’t care for the way you’re kissing her. It could be that you’re too slobbery, as others have suggested. It could also be that you’re being too aggressive, which we’ll get to in just a moment.
The other type of non-tongue kissing, which is what I think you’re probably talking about, can mean a lot of different things. It could be that she enjoys that type of kissing and finds it subtler and more arousing than using lots of tongue. It could be that she just doesn’t care for the whole tongue thing all that much. It could be that she prefers to start slow. This is where the aggressive thing comes in. A lot of men seem to want to put their arms around you and right away start licking your tonsils. If you don’t want your tonsils licked at all, or you need some time to work up enthusiasm for tonsil-licking, this is unspeakably off-putting. A lot of women will pull back on their technique, hoping the guy will take a hint. (This pretty much never works, in my experience. It just makes them push harder, and turns into a never-ending feedback loop.)
Personally, I looooooove long, slow, tongueless kisses. I find them far more sensuous and exponentially more arousing than tongue action. Actually, I don’t really find the tongue stuff particularly arousing or interesting at all. It’s nice enough once I’m already turned on, but it’s not going to get me where I need to be to properly enjoy the festivities. And the pushing thing is pretty much never sexy. It is, in fact, a remarkably effective way to squash desire. A long, slow, dry kiss and a caress on the neck will make me putty in your hands. Shoving your tongue in my mouth and grabbing my boobs will make me wander off to see if there’s anything good on tv.
Nobody else has said it yet, so I will: perhaps your breath is, uh, less than fresh? In the interest of scientific inquiry, have a mint and give it another go .
Wow…I’m not the only one? I’m not big on tongues at all. I don’t know why, I’ve never liked it much. I was under the impression that I was the odd one out here. I don’t think my boyfriend is hugely into tongues, either, or else he’s just reading my signals and being considerate. He’s sweet like that.
The consensus here seems to suggest that it is your technique, stuyguy, that’s bringing/brought about these peckin’ dames. . . suggesting everything from ‘you may be slobbering’ to ‘your breath may be bad’ ! Nice. But as I read the OP again, you say they’ll “mix it up with a little tongue action” too. This doesn’t imply to me that the pecking thing is a result of anything you’re doing.
So I vote “They’re the freaks, not you.” It could be anything from inexperience to simple shyness. Or they’re just reeally bad kissers, as RickJay suggests.
I’m a woman, and I occasionally peck-kiss plus also do the tongue-action thing. When I do that, I’m just teasing Mr. Overly - it gets him all excited when I won’t kiss him “for real.” However, before I began dating my husband, I was dating this guy who was big into tongue action. I felt like he was trying to plunge my throat with his tongue. I swear - every time we’d kiss, he’d grab onto the back of my head and deep throat me with his tongue. It was really, really disgusting. So I’d back off and peck-kiss him or kiss him more lightly until he’d cut it out. So I’d say that, when it’s not used as a teasing technique, peck-kissing is usually a subtle or not-so-subtle hint to get someone to stop shoving their tongue down their partner’s throat.
I don’t want any lingual experiences until my breathing has changed and our faces are hot.
And the worst kissers are the ones who learned to kiss from watching bad TV shows and movies, the ones that show couples smooshing their mouths together open-mouthed and doing the total lip seal thing, like they’re practicing mouth-to-mouth resuscitaton. Ewww!
Second worse…I do remember this girl I knew when I was about 19 who had this “plover in a crocodile’s mouth” thing going with the tongue — flicking it around in fast circles like a small scavenger looking for food fragments inside my mouth. Ewww!
A second AAAAAAAAMEN to that. Slow lip movement, with light teasing tongue contact LATER…so sexy. I can’t stand the gaping yawp with probing tongue style of kissing; did these people learn to kiss by licking cake bowls? It’s so not sexy.
A few light pecks, mixed in with other techniques, is nice. But if that’s all the women do, then I’d say there’s something strange about their technique. Either that, or their partner has bad breath.
How about asking them directly (but politely) about their kissing style?
I dated a guy who did that. I hated it and tried the same technique but he never got the hint. God, he was a wretched kisser. I always felt like I was covered with slobber…if I turned my head to catch a breath he’d go for the ear. Is there anyone who likes a tongue in their ear? GAH!
