I went out with a guy in college who WAS the modern James Dean/suffering artist/bad boy/rebel.
He was hot. He was taller than me. He had great hair. Nice hands.
I had to let him go. Because he was a HORRIBLE kisser. HORRIBLE. Real sloppy and not in a fun way, and one of those guys who just pile drives his tongue down your throat the minute your lips meet.
Gross.
Then, I went out with a guy who was not…an adonis. He was popular and cool and fun and constantly tripping on acid, and he loved playing “Chicago accent” with me for hours…and he was weird (he worked at the radio station after all). And he was…A GREAT kisser. The best kisser I had experienced up to that point. A face holder, a lip nibbler, a good good, great kisser.
I had to drop him due to some acid induced cheating.
So what am I saying? Well, kissing is important. And bad kissers, no matter how hard you try…cannot be reformed.
I hate to admit it, but I have also experienced some of those bad kissers, albeit the female variety.
One in particular seems to think that I enjoy a large slobbery licker down my throat, or even worse in my ear!
I, however, have learned that anyone can learn how to kiss. In my first book, “Better Love, by Doctor Happy”, I briefly touched on the subject of kissing in my chapter on foreplay.
I received many compliments from women whose boyfriends had improved significantly, but they also had some more suggestions.
Anyway, after testing out their suggestions with them, I devoted an entire chapter to kissing in my second book, “Better Luck, by Doctor Happy”.
As expected, I receive more expressions of gratitude from the men who have read the book. But the best compliments always come from the women whose lover’s have read the books.
The point is, do not give up too early. Lover’s have a tendency to mimick each other’s actions. So, if you try showing him the way you like it, he will probably learn fairly easily.
I would tend to believe something in the middle-ground: bad-kissers can not be reformed but they can learn to improve a little. Kissing is one of the best parts of intimacy, but some people, it seems, are too excited about other things or were just badly “trained” or something and can’t kiss worth a damn.
I’ve had to, literally, tell a woman to “let me lead, like we’re dancing” because she was jack-hammering, slapping her tongue around, biting and all sorts of other crazy stuff. There is a time and a place for each one of those and I know that, but it seemed like she had had a hormone crazy boyfriend that taught her how to kiss and she never progressed beyond “OMG, I’mkissingI’mkissing!!!” She relaxed, learned to “mimick [sic] [my] actions” and all was good. The next time we were together, though, she reverted to slobbering hammer kisses. <ugh>
Finding someone that kisses you just right/, well, that’s pretty exciting.
I broke up with a guy I really liked because he ALWAYS stuck his tongue in my mouth. He couldn’t just give an affectionate peck. It had to be a full make-out session. I swear, it felt like he had some abnormal tongue - it felt HUGE. Ugh.
Plus, he was always wanting to make out. During the movies, he’d never let me watch the movie. Not so bad if a guy can kiss. He was slobbery, too - I could feel saliva sliding down my chin. Ewwww. Makes me nauseous just thinking about it.
I never confronted him about it, I just broke it off. But I was 15 and had no idea how to bring up the subject. Not that I would have. The damage had already been done.
I don’t remember the good kissers as well as the bad ones.
There were just two…
Eureka was under the delusion that you were suppossed to suck your date’s toungue out of his mouth. I, unfortunately, was too nice to correct her. By the end of the night it really had become quite painful. If only we’d known about blowjobs back then.
Then candle factory girl used to spelunk my ear with her tongue. Sorry. It was just too much.
My feeling is that if you aren’t a good kisser, then you probably aren’t going to be much fun during sex.
I had this friend many years ago, and like so many male/female friendships, one night we just started kissing. She said I was too “rough”. Her definition of rough was anything more than a simple peck on the lips. Hey, if you won’t even pry your lips apart to kiss, well…see ya!
A cousin and I had a little thing going on back when we were teenagers. She was very sweet and very beautiful, but her kisses always ended with a little smacking sound that I found completely off-putting. That was a significant factor in the cooling of our ardour. I was too much of a dickwad to help her improve her technique.
Last summer, almost thirty years later, both married for a long long time with kids and the whole nine yards, we found ourselves together with a little too much time on our hands. Embers stirred. Eyes met. Fingers touched. Nostrils flared to capture the heat and scent rising from skin. Our bodies drifted together as if drawn by gravity. Slowly, gently our lips drifted across each other. Pure sensation consumed our experience, the world spinning around us. As our arms wrapped in embrace we surrendered to a luxurious carnal buss of exquisite sensuality and forbidden erotic power.
Drinking it in for eons of shared breath, at long last our bodies eased slightly to signal our readiness to withdraw and - smack.
My current fiancee has learned very well. She does the suck my tongue down her throat thingy, too. Only once did she make my tongue sore, and boy did it hurt. But now she and I usually share more intimate kissing, even though we do have our outrageously passionate times, too.
I think that the more relaxed she is, the better she kisses.
The worst is the slobberers. You see those dogs that can not stop the slobber from running down there faces. Well, that is nothing compared to one previous girlfriend of mine. I thought I was going to puke. Needless to say, regardless of the fact that she did have a beautiful face and sexy body, it was over.
My current fiancee has some incredibly beautiful lips. As soon as you see them you experience this uncontrallable need to kiss them.
But recently I noticed this girl who lives behind me, and her lips have got to be the two most perfectly sexy lips God ever created. I mean one look at those lips and I experienced the strongest urge yet. I would love to test her kissing skills.
Amazing that even something as simple as lips can be so powerfully erotic.
Granted I haven’t performed that wide of a poll, so to speak. But I’ve been with bad kissers and I’ve been with good kissers, and I’ve had this dicussion with other people.
Maybe it’s not that the bad kissers are that bad at sex, but that I love kissing so much, and find it such an integral part, that if someone’s no good with the ol’ lips & tongue (and teeth once in a while ), then it ruins the whole experience.
I’ve tried reforming one bad kisser, but without being blunt and telling them “Dude, you suck at this, do it this way” it’s very difficult to teach them the way you like to kiss.
I feel when two people are kissing the each should be intuitive enough to match their own style with their partner’s to make a style that’s unique to them together.
What can I say; I’m a terrific kisser. Ladies have been amazed at my kissing ability. I have good, full lips, which helps.
Most of my girlfriends have been good kissers, but one, Bev, was just awful. She was smart and beautiful and had a body straight out of Playboy, and she was very skilled in all other aspects of lovemaking, but she kissed like a gourami. Just atrocious. I can’t even say what exactly was wrong with her kissing style because so many things were wrong with it it would be impossible to narrow it down. And it DOES make sex less fun.
I don’t think Bev’s kissing style could be reformed because - well, because how would she know? I wasn’t going to tell her. How do you tell someone, “Hey, you kiss like an electrified corpse.”?
I’ve been told for years that I’m a fantastic kisser. I have my own lil techinque that I’ll not just share here. Any woman that wants to know is welcome to ask for a demonstration.
Not always true. I dated a guy who was a terrible kisser. Truly awful. I thought he was trying to eat my face. I probably slept with him just so he would stop kissing me and boy, did I get a shocker. He was awesome! The few other times we went out (had sex) I think I avoided kissing entirely and went straight to the nookie.
Well, for what it’s worth, I’ve been told by one woman that I’m a GREAT kisser.
Which shocked the hell out of me, to say the least, because I’ve had so little practice at it.
One girl I dated briefly liked to use her teeth. Which is truly a big huge no-no. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. I was frenching her molars half the time. Seriously, I couldn’t stick my tongue in without worrying about how many pieces it would be in when I brought it out again.
Yep, I have had my share of bad kissers to. I actually did think that one guy was gonna suck my tongue out of my head. I prayed that if I could get it back in one piece with minimal loss of blood that he wouldn’t get the chance again, and he didn’t. Then the slobber guy, geesh if I’d had a bar of soap with me I could have just taken my bath.
Kissing is definitely an art and some people just aren’t talented in that department. The thing to remember is that every person is different and just because one person thinks you kiss great doesn’t mean the next one will.
), then it ruins the whole experience.