How much wood WOULD a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Its been bugging me for a while.
-Pnuk Guy
35,7 pounds a day, tops. Half, if it’s a baby woodchuck.
A woodchuck would chuck how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Chuck it would, as much as it could, if a wood chuck could chuck wood!
How much ground round would a ground hog pound, if a ground hog could pound ground round? 
Chicks with bricks come
Chicks with blocks come
Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come
or maybe
When tweedle beetle fight it’s called a tweedle beetle battle
When tweedle beetles battle with a paddle it’s called a tweedle beetle paddle battle
When they fight these battle in a puddle in a bottle it’s called a tweedle beetle paddle muddle in a bottle puddle
May not be exact quotes, but I’m 23 and I still love that book.
approximately 22lbs/sq in. of wood, I believe.
jb
How much marmite might a marmot munch if a marmot did munch marmite?
I’ll have you know that was both spontaneous and original, at least as far as I know.
With marmalade? OK, I’ll go now.
Would that be a father chucker or. . .
A motherchucker? <rimshot>
::crickets::
Um, I’ll just be over here, working or something.
Cecil answered this in More of the Straight Dope, with a follow-up in Return of the Straight Dope: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?.
How much wind could a windbreaker break if a windbreaker could break wind?
How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?
(Thanks to Bill Waterson, of Calvin & Hobbes fame)
Pnuk Guy, you’re new here, so maybe you don’t know how the fora here are set up. General Questions is for questions which have a factual answer; MPSIMS (where I’m moving this thread) is for jokes, among other things. Head on over there, and have fun!
Nine cords.
First person to tell me where I stole that joke from gets a cookie.
And after the woodchuck has finished chucking all that wood, the next question is:
How much could a woodchuck chuck up if a woodchuck could upchuck?
Oh, and thanks, Sir Dirx, I really liked the one with the Mongols…