wtf is a wood chuck?

In this article
**Uncle Cecil ** answers the question.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
His answer is obvious of course.

Now correct me if I am wrong but IIRC the proper response should have been.

A woodchuck would what a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Now perhaps this is the result of a generation gap and he being much older and wiser did in fact give the proper and more antiquated response, perhaps. :rolleyes:
Does anyone recall the answer to this critical issue to which the Master has
obviously gone to much effort to answer. We wouldn’t want to offend any woodchucks by telling lies about them to the public.

and BTW… just WTF exactly is a woodchuck? :confused:

marmot, prariedog, groundhog, gopher, mole, duckbilled platypus…etc and who says they CAN’T chuck wood in the first place?

A woodchuck is another name for a groundhog. Woodchuck

The answer I’ve always heard is:
“A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.” which is closer to Unca Cece’s answer than to yours.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

However, in perusing the net, I see about five variants of the third line listed. So there does not seem to be concensus. :wink:

Let it be said, that I do have a clue when it comes to what most people claim is a woodchuck. It is that big-ass rat the mayor of (wherever) holds up every year at Groundhogs day.

In the Appalachian Mountains the woodchuck is known as a whistle pig.

The marmot is a stocky coarse-furred burrowing rodent with a short bushy tail found throughout the northern hemisphere; hibernates in winter and is commonly
called a Ground Hog.

"The Woodchuck is a large North American marmot. " There are apparently several types of marmots.

Prairie dog (Zo["o]l.), a small American rodent (Cynomys Ludovicianus) allied to the marmots. It inhabits the plains west of the Mississippi. The prairie dogs burrow in the ground in large warrens, and have a sharp bark like that of a dog. Called also prairie marmot.

(These prairie rodents are not IMHO what are commonly referred to as woodchucks. Although I have heard people claim they were. I have definitely known them to be called chipmunks.)

Note this: The yaffle, or green woodpecker is also called a Woodchuck. As a woodpecker, don’t you think he actually does chuck wood?

The third line IS the line in question. I think the rhyme of my version is far superior to the line that Cecil gave.
That doesn’t prove either to be the original version of the riddle, but it has the same number of beats in the verse as the question and it’s a hell of a lot smoother on the tongue. I like smooth tongues better. :wink:

Q: How much wood/ would a woodchuck chuck… if …

1: A woodchuck would/ what a woodchuck could…if…

2: He would chuck as much wood/ as a woodchuck could chuck… if…

See what I mean? :slight_smile:

Um…I’m an elderly 27, and I’ve never heard any but Cecil’s version, even from five-year-olds saying it; considering he’s been fighting ignorance since before I was born, it can’t be a generational thing.

" A woodchuck would chuck" gets 1,600 google hits and “A woodchuck would what” gets zero. Spelling it wood-chuck and wood chuck get even fewer results. Odd, I thought everyone knew that tongue twister.

My friends and I have been saying it my way since the early 60’s.
It maybe just the way WE said it.
I’m just 42…

and you know what they say about 42 :wink:

I wish I knew the full Latin version of this, which was written to be equally a tongue-twister. It begins, Quantam materiam materietur marmota monax….

I always thought it was,

“How much ground round would a hound dog hog,
If a ground hog were ground round?”

Thanks to Walt Kelly :smiley:

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

And this page has a number of other beauties, such as Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! (If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!)

i heard “he’d chuck as much would as a woodchuck could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood”
just to be catchier…but basically the same…

Well then: How much ground could a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground?

Evil Nazi Groundhogs

Woodchucks, groundhogs, marmots, prairie dogs, and all their kin are ground-dwelling members of Family Sciuridae, in Suborder Sciuramorpha of Order Rodentia – essentially the branch of the squirrel family that decided excavated holes in the ground, as opposed to holes in trees, made appropriate living quarters.

All of these critters are God’s (or Mother Natures) natural means of supplying us with target practice.

It is like the first casting conference for the movie Ed Wood:
“Who would be Ed Wood?”
“I was thinking Edward Woodward would be Ed Wood.”

So tehy went with Johnny Depp.

Moderator just noting that this is an eight-year old thread, revived by juniorhoss. That’s not a problem per se, just want y’all to be aware so that if you’re replying to someone who posted that long ago, they might not respond (for a variety of reasons, including not still being on the SDMB, and not remembering that they posted to this thread, and…)

Do woodchucks chuck wood?

I know it’s an old zombie, but I don’t say this the same way as any of the options above. The version I’m familiar with (from Appalachian Ohio):

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Sometimes:

… if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.