Hubby cooked breakfast new years morning. I wasn’t hungry. So I sat down on the couch and proceeded to clip my toenails.
Here comes hubby with his sausage and eggs that he just got done cooking and sits down in the chair, right close to me. I went to clip another toenail and it went sailing in his plate of food. Oooops. He gets up from the chair mad and throws his food in the garbage.
I’ll admit some fault as I should have went to the bathroom to clip my toenails, not the living room. But it is just as much his fault, because I was there first. He should have noted that he was sitting within striking distance and stayed in the kitchen area to eat his food.
This reminds me of a Don Martin cartoon I saw in Mad years ago:
SCENE
A living room. Husband and wife are sitting in two armchairs adjacent to each other. Husband is drinking beer, apparently minding his own, and Wife is clipping her toenails.
Wife, as she clips her toenails, silently notes how they each fly a distance, near Husband.
SFX: PLINK [?]
After four toenails are clipped and sent a distance in this manner, the fifth one flies further than the rest, landing in Husband*'s beer.*
SFX: PLUNK
Husband * looks into the can of beer, clearly annoyed.* Wife holds her hand over her mouth, stifling a laugh.
[c]Husband[/c]
EDNA! That’s Disgusting! You only got one out of five!
Wife * begins to appear dismayed.
[c]Husband[/c]
You’ll never make the finals with that kind of shooting!
Wife exits room, revealing the back of her shirt which reads (I’m guessing from a tarnished memory) “USA Women’s Toenail-Clipping Team”.
If it makes you feel any better, Ashkicker, I clip my toenails and fingernails in the living room too. It has the best lighting in the house. I always vacuum when I’m finished.
Yikes! He threw out breakfast because of a toenail? Does he not observe the 5-second rule either? A toenail just isn’t that hard to locate and remove.
There are plenty of big things in the world that can upset a person. No need to sweat the petty things (although it can be fun to pet the sweaty things).
My husband is all freaky about toenails too. Please. What’s the big deal. I generally put my feet on the toilet seat and clip the nails into the toilet, but if I but my finger nails, I clip them into the bathroom sink and leave them there for the next person to wash down. I recently discovered that he was all grossed out by them because he thought they were toenails. For Christ’s Sweet Sake! It’s just the bathroom sink!
[completely unrelated] My brother and his wife were traveling from Minnesota to Mexico. They stopped at a hotel in Oklahoma to stay for the night. My brother was in the shower when his wife came in and asked him if he had been clipping his toenails. She saw their infant son chewing on something, and took it out of his mouth to investigate…
Maybe the reason he overreacted was that he had gone to the time and trouble of making breakfast, and instead of his wife briefly stopping what she was doing and acknowledging his efforts, she clips a toenail into his breakfast.
I’m not sure if I’d throw out my breakfast if the same thing happened to me, but the I’d be a little pissed.
