It would be funnier if it was a closeup of a stack of Reichmarks or something like that. Anachronistic, sure, but so is the piano.
A similar visual gag was done about 30 years ago by Shobba, a pen-and-ink cartoonist for Bike magazine. There the spotty youth was complaining “No, I meant a Triumph” (implied: motorbike) as he inspected a deeply-unfashionable car, while sitting on a fur-covered cabin trunk and ignoring the three-foot-tall rooster strutting in the foreground. It took me a while to figure what the other two wishes were: a hairy chest, a great big cock…
The problem with using the joke as described is thus:
- The viewer won’t get it unless they are already familiar with the joke
- Someone already familiar with the joke will not find it very clever or funny, because it’s an old joke. It’s pretty cliche by now.
If you want to go ‘clean’, having the wisher get crushed by a pile of gold coins is good. If you want to go risque, steal the joke referenced by Malacandra and have the genie present him with an enormous rooster.
I agree with this, by the way. If it’s a quick background joke it works fine.
You could go with the visual “a million ducks” misheard wish complete with that one duck sitting atop his head nipping at his ears.
No, it does not work at all that way. It only works if you pay attention to it and figure out the verbal joke that it is referencing. That will inevitably need a moment or two to think it out.
The fact that the original, verbal version of the joke is old, and a cliché, is not a problem. This is a clever reworking of it, that is the point. I think if people do figure it out they will probably like it. It (the visual version, not the original) is one of those jokes that work by getting you to feel self-congratulatory for having been smart enough to figure it out (i.e, realize it is an allusion to the old, verbal, joke). The trouble is that most people probably won’t figure it out, or not until it is way too late for it to be funny.
I prefer that movies show me new jokes, not old ones.[/shrug]
The joke also relies on the idea that this ancient Persian prince is speaking modern English. I think something that doesn’t depend on language or play on words, like the idea of being crushed by a pile of money, might work a little better.
This is true and yet irrelevant - to cite another genie, it’s like complaining that most of the impressions the Genie in Disney’s Aladdin does would be incomprehensible to the citizens of Agrabah.
Which in no way means I disagree with you.
Bottom line: the joke is, as several people have pointed out, just a throwaway sight-gag that I put in as a sort of Easter egg for people who know the original joke. Nonetheless, I think I’m going to scrap it for the not-funny but more comprehensible “prince gets crushed under a mountain of treasure.” That visual does a better job of foreshadowing the fact that the genie is more menacing than mischievous.
Thanks for your input, everyone – I really appreciate it.
Doesn’t work for me as a visual joke
Penis sounds like pianist, so right away if your audience doesn’t recognize that its a pianist (as opposed to a random guy playing a piano), the joke is difficult to get. Add in the fact that its usually in inches that we measure penises, and a person seeing the joke isn’t going to be subconsciously measuring the pianist, I foresee some difficulty
I think you people are underestimating your audiences, who are very genre-savvy these days. As a quick gag, the pianist thing would work. Anyone above the age of 12 will either know the joke or identify it as an in-joke to look up later and then smugly inform their other friends who didn’t get the joke what it means.
I do agree, however, that it sends the wrong message if you want to convey menace, and that having a pile of money (or indeed a large castle) fall on the luckless victim would be better.
I immediately got it, but I’m familiar with the joke and that it was written out probably helped. If someone doesn’t get it or there arent’ the appropriate visual cues I think another visual gag would work better. Part of the problem is, that while it works for the joke as given because of the contrast, is that a miniture piano implies asking for something small rather than something larger.
One suggestion I might give instead would be to play off another similar pun, like have a very large rooster appear. Or perhaps do something similar, like have his wife/girlfriend in the background and after the flash have her holding two large watermelons or something to that effect.
Or take a different spin on it, rather than mishearing “I wish I had a 9 penis” he could have failed to specify a size and then follow the same sort of visual gag with him obviously having WAY more of a bulge in his pants than anyone would want or, to go with the GF/wife angle, have her suddenly have beachball sized breasts. That sort of thing.
Did you know DC Comics has just revived an old book of theirs called Dial H For Hero? The concept is that some schlub dials the letters “HERO” on a phone and becomes whatever bizarre superhero the phone dreams up for him.
It’s not clear who made the dial or provides its power in the new book, but if it turns out to be a malevolent genie…
Hm. I would say, you need to decide whether the joke is intended for people who already know it, in which case I think just showing the pianist with no explanation is hilarious (and what I originally assumed), or intended to be funny for people who don’t (in which case it’s probably ruined if people DO know it, and you have to add the verbal exposition which doesn’t work as well). Personally, I prefer the obscure version, but you’re right, if you want the genie to be obviously malicious, not just mischevious, being buried under treasure is perhaps better.
I don’t get it. Why did the guy want a smaller dick?
See, I think the difficulty here is that you’re trying to tell a verbal gag in a visual way. I applaud your ambition, and I agree a joke is always funnier if you can get the audience to put the last brick in place themselves, but the throwaway nature of this gag means you’re asking them to grasp one very specific phrase the instant they see the image.
That would require an image which cannot possibly be described in any other words than the precise ones you’re trying to prompt in their minds, and I doubt such an image exists.
Let’s say he asked for “some tight pussy” and you showed a tipsy feline with a martini glass. “A drunk cat? I don’t get it.”
Maybe he asks for “a million bucks” and you show a field with male deer stretching to the horizon. “Lots of deer? I don’t get it.”
About the closest thing to a phrase that would work, I think, is the “massive cock” variant mentioned above. Even that might produce “A giant rooster? I don’t get it.”
Thank you. I couldn’t understand why people kept thinking that it’s being a cliche was a bad thing. Now, if the visual gag had been run into the ground, then people might care about that.
And, BTW, did you know that a lot of people have never heard the word, and pronounce it pee ANN ist?
I immediately got it, just because that one’s made the rounds for years. It’s also obscure enough in its visual that kids won’t understand, but just the absurdity on the face of it could get a head scratching laugh.
The problem is this: how are you going to make clear he wished for 9 inches, since there’s no vocals, and a tiny pianist is presented. The joke hangs on the relative dimensions. So no one will hear 9 inches, they’ll only see something tiny, and can only conclude he wished for a tiny or small penis, after thinking about it, if not very familiar with the joke.
So, you might need more visuals and gestures, like him picking up a tiny stick in dismay, then gesturing toward his crotch exuberantly, then finding another one about nine inches long with a look of, “you get me?”, and the resulting pianist will be the exact size.
Or something.
Is this going o be animated?
The suggestions on offer to make the joke more understandable are all good, but they give too much importance to the joke, which I really meant as a “caught out of the corner of your eye” thing.
I’ve already replaced it with the “avalanche of treasure” wish instead, and I really think it’s better that way.
Shade – yes, it was meant to be an Easter Egg for people who already know the joke.
CMYK The short film as a whole would be live-action, but I had indeed envisioned the excerpt in the OP as being animated – I saw it like the opening exposition of Samurai Jack, with a series of images showing under Alorotom Aikon’s voiceover narration.