What is the protocol for behavior when visiting a church not of one’s “home denomination”?
For example, I attended a Catholic service as a relative of a child receiving first communion. When it was time to stand, everyone stood. When it was time to kneel, about half the congregation knelt and half sat. Should everyone be doing the same thing, or is it permissible to “sit out” parts of the service?
Also, my home church invites everyone in attendance to communion, but our pastor says that non-Catholics are not allowed to take communion in a Catholic church. Is this in fact correct?
My experience (non-Catholic, raised Lutheran, in a Catholic service or three):
Stand when they stand.
Kneel when they kneel (in the churches I attended, the only “sitters” were people who had actual knee injuries/age impairments/etc. that made kneeling painful/impossible).
You can’t take communion. In fact, even if you’re a Catholic, you can’t take communion if you haven’t been to confession (that was a bit embarassing when my wife’s entire family–save her devout mother–remained on the bench with me, the heathen, during communion).
Correct that non-Catholics (with some very limited exceptions) are not invited to share in Catholic communion.
Incorrect - or at least incomplete - that you must have been to confession. The rule is that you cannot be conscious of grave sin. Theoretically, it could have been ten months since your last confession, and if you’ve avoided grave sin, you may receive communion every single day.
Being divorced is the most common reason why a churchgoing Catholic wouldn’t receive communion.
For standing, sitting, and kneeling, follow the crowd. If there’s some reason why kneeling would be difficult (like arthritis or something) then you can sit instead.
Specifically: only Catholics (and a few specific others not including Protestants generally except maybe Anglicans and I’m not sure about them) who are not under a grave sin are invited to join in the full Communion rite, and then (if Catholic) after they’ve taken their first Communion.
I don’t recall if Orthodox can, but Assyrian Christians and Coptics are also invited.
The kneeling part varies from location to location. Though I do tend to feel that a non-Catholic guest should be only required to sit respectfully while actual Catholics kneel.
During the communion, those who will not be partaking are to remain seated in respectful meditative attitude (and not obstruct the movement of those who do participate).
Don’t act like they’re going to pick you out, string you up and barbecue you later. I cannot stress this enough. You are supposed to feel welcome. Do not feel like you’ve stumbled into enemy camp and you’re bound to be sighted any second. RELAX. No one cares that much.
Some folks (like the ones you witnessed) simply don’t go for (or have good physical reasons for not participating in) the constant sitting and standing. If you’d like to be one, be one. When I went to church I would generally only rise during hymns and when asked to by the priest. What can I say, I was a kid, there was a lot of it, and I got tired of it.
I went to an Episcopal girls school where we had chapel every day for eight years. There were plenty of girls in my class who weren’t Christian. In fact, in the Senior Christnas Pageant, all the Marys were Jewish which seemed rather appropriate to me. Anyway, the general chapel policy seemed to be, everyone stands together, you don’t have to kneel if you don’t want to, but you certainly can if you’d like to, but you can’t take communion unless you’re a baptized Christian. I’m fairly sure on the last part, but we were only offered communion on Ash Wednesday, and I’m only not baptized so I can’t be totally sure.
A couple years ago, I had a priest tell me that the Catholic Church says it’s OK for Orthodox Christians to receive Catholic communion, but that the Orthodox churches have a problem with it.
Bill Cosby had a greatr routine about how the Catholics "have all these trick plays to catch the Protestants in their church.
'OK! 1…2…3…Kneel!
Hah! We got one!’"
(Cosby’s wife. IIRC, was Catholic. He wasn’t.)
My wife has the same problem. Just watch the other people and follow what they do. Most of the time, the Catholics don’t really remember, either.
There’s no fundamental problem with a churchgoing Catholic being divorced - at least, not one that would prevent the reception of the sacraments.
A divorced Catholic that has re-married outside the Church is a different story, of course, because from the Church’s view, absent a decree of nullity the first marriage is the valid one, and the second “marriage” is nothing more than an adulterous relationship.
But that’s a far cry from simply being divorced, and simply being divorced does not preclude reception of Communion.
Can. 844 §4. If the danger of death is present or if, in the judgment of the diocesan bishop or conference of bishops, some other grave necessity urges it, Catholic ministers administer these same sacraments licitly also to other Christians not having full communion with the Catholic Church, who cannot approach a minister of their own community and who seek such on their own accord, provided that they manifest Catholic faith in respect to these sacraments and are properly disposed.
I was baptized in the Roman Catholic Church and confirmed in the Maronite Church. The Maronite Church has a Patriach, His Beatitude Mar Nasrallah Boutros Cardinal Sfeir, who was in the conclave that elected Pope Benedict XIV. When a new Patriach is elected, he requests ecclesiastic communion from the Pope, so the Maronite Church could theoretically stop being in communion with Rome.
That’s where I’m coming from, Maronite, Catholic, Hindu it’s all the same in the end. And I think that it is generally good for each church to decide if and when to be in communion with other churches and when not to be. Eccumenism is a worthty goal. But I think that many loose sight that it is the laity who should decide. Religion ought to be democratic, right?
I’m concerned how akward it can be for half the family to sit out. And I think back to how a certain Catholic uncle refused to take the communion via intinction. The priest kept saying, “The mouth! Open your mouth!” Nothwithstanding my uncle opened up his hands in defiance. Resigned, the priest puts the Holy Communion in his hands. Democracy rules.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do? Ha!! Around here, it’s East meets West.
One other small data point…Some churches have a custom of offering a blessing to those not receiving communion.
At those churches (perhaps you could observe the communion line to see if they do this), if you were so inclined, you could go forward and cross your arms over your chest indicating that you’re not receiving eucharist…and then receive a simple blessing from the priest. Needless to say this is completely optional on your part.
I don’t think there would be a problem blessing yourself, but you don’t have to. Ditto with bowing to the altar, doing the various hand gesture during the mass, etc. They seem to fling holy water around with considerable abandon. My daughter was given a baby food jar full in church school to bring home to practice blessing herself.
[sup]isn’t this a no-brainer?[/sup]