I’m a preschool teacher. If I need to call a parent to tell them that their Snuggletoes is repeatedly calling other children, for example, “fucking brats,” what should I say? Obviously they need to know the specific words. If I spell it out I feel ridiculous and cutsy. If I just say it, it feels too crude and unprofessional. Especially because, as a preschool teacher, I have an image to uphold of wholesome sweetness. How would you prefer to be told that your four year old is swearing at school?
Just use the exact words. Don’t spell it out, don’t mumble it under your breath. Don’t worry, you’re not going to offend mom/dad. They’re adults and have heard it before (just like you). Imagine telling one of your friends what the kid said…say it just like that. You’re best case scenario is that she’ll immediately recognize the phrase and know exactly where he/she picked it up.
“Your child is swearing and calling the other children inappropriate names at school. We have reinforced that swearing and name calling are not ok at school. Could you please reinforce this at home?”
If they ask for more details provide them, matter of factly.
I would prefer to hear it straight out if you think it’s really important I need to know which words he used. But honestly, does it matter? “Your child is using words that can’t be said on network television. How can we work together to address the issue of him swearing at the other kids?”
I would be OK with my kid’s preschool teacher saying “the F-word” or whatever. I don’t think that’s unprofessional in the slightest. I don’t think it’s necessary to use the actual word. I mean, you could, but I agree that it might raise an eyebrow.
I’ve taught Pre-school and currently teach elementary school. Straightforward is best. Something along the lines: “Your child is having an issue using inappropriate language at school. Specifically ‘blank’. We’re trying to encourage positive interactions and we could use your help. Thanks.”
…
Preschool? Gee, I wonder who they learned it from.
Doesn’t mean they can’t learn not to use it at school, or that the parent is unwilling to help with that. I don’t self-censor around my own kids. They know very well that they shouldn’t use some words at school, and they don’t in preschool (by sixth grade, I’m sure they’re talking like sailors to each other, but that’s not unique to households where swearing is present.) I actually don’t let them use what I consider swearwords at home, either - those are “grown up words” and I’m completely honest that the only reason they can’t use them is it makes me and some other grown-ups twitchy.
So yeah, if they’re swearing at school, I want to know, because that’s not okay, even if they learned the word from me.
Even moreso if it’s a “soft swear” like *bastard *or *sucks *or stupid. Those are anathema in many classrooms, but not universally considered swear words. If it’s one of those words, I probably do need to know what the actual word was so I can appropriately back up the teacher.
The best way to do it is to pretend to read the words off a piece of paper.
“Your child has been saying - " [look at notepad] " - ‘Fucking Brats’.”
Make sure to enunciate clearly, like you’re reading an unfamilar phrase in a foreign language.
If you act uncomfortable you’re going to make the parents uncomfortable. It’s just a swear word, your not telling the parents their kid has a fatal disease.
Also, if my kid’s teacher acted like she had never heard a swear word before I’d be concerned she was telling me this because she didn’t know what to do about it or that she was too scared to deal with it. I’d rather just be told what the kid said (I promise, I’ve heard swear words before, I won’t be offended) so I can deal with it at home while you are dealing with it at school.
I used to just tell the parents that the kid was using bad language. They never (to my memory) asked what specific words. If they’d asked I would have told them. They wouldn’t ask if they didn’t want to know. I did have a dad turn to his 2nd grade son once and say, “Are fucking cursing in school?” I actually laughed.
It would depend on where they live. I live in Chicago and if you have a kid, in this city you cannot take them out in public, without them hearing the “F-Word,”, the “N-Word,” or any other host of profanity and racial slurs.
Try explaining to a preschooler why two black people can call each other the “N-word” but you can’t use it.
You kidding? Try explaining it to me.
Your fucking brat is calling the other fucking brats fucking brats.
translates into preschool teacher
Little Suzy is very perceptive but needs to learn discretion and possibly volume control.
Better yet, have an actual form printed up, on which you can check off the specific words and phrases the child was using. Something like this:
Dear Parent/Guardian,
Your child has been heard using the following unacceptable words:
___ Shit
___ Piss
___ Fuck
___ Cunt
___ Cocksucker
___ Motherfucker
___ Tits
…and/or singing “How much is that dog crap in the window?”
Posts like this make me wish we had a Like button here. 
It is suggested that your child:
__ Get a clue (hey, they’re cheap!)
__ Be put up for adoption (please call the County Orphanage at 555-4211 to arrange for pickup)
__ Consume Excrement
__ Consume Excrement and thus expire.