How should I prepare for being walked off site?

Do you have a human-sized hampster wheel? That would be great.

It is hamster, people. Hamster.

Handcuffs on the wrists, and a black bag over your head.

…Without an escort.

Just, y’know, stumbling around blindly, voice muffled inside the bag. “Excuse me, could you point me at the door? Thanks.”

Bonus points if you’re carrying a briefcase in front of you with your cuffed hands.

I’m a rebel without a cause.

Hampster. Hampster. HAMPSTER!

But with superfluous P.

As I always say: “Start stealing office supplies early, you never know.”

When they ask you for your keys, reach into your pocket and pull out “the bird.”

The one and only time I have been marched out of the workplace was in 1982.

I flipped and resigned, after a long conversation with the Chairman/CEO (at which I got a director sacked) I found a good friend of mine sitting on my desk.

He was ex Royal Navy - Lt Commander, actually had his own small ship once, they discovered a new Pacific atoll when they ran into it. Also, oddly he had spent time in Northern Ireland, on the street - funny that.

Anyway, it was a reasonably large company, and for some reason he was the guy they reckoned could handle me if I lostit. We went to the pub.

In your case, don’t resign on a Monday, quietly take away your personal stuff, and when you resign don’t burn your boats - in my case they offered me more than all I wanted, but I had burnt the boats with a letter to the MD of the holding company who had been the FD of the company my father worked for (pure coincidence - he joined after me)

  • if I could have un-posted that letter I would have done.

As it happens, within months I was back doing consultancy, but I still reckon that I was dim.

After that I learnt my lesson, I only resigned in anger once again.

Unfortunately, it has to be tomorrow as the letter has to go in the post then.

Right.

DO NOT POST THE LETTER

One of the advantages of learning from ones own mistakes is that one can get a ‘feel good factor’ from preventing other people walking into swamps.

In my early career ( motion controlled by gravity ) I was a serial idiot, I invented corners and pushed myself into them.

You don’t need to do that - you can use other people’s mistakes as learned experience.

Be very careful, what seems inevitable chaos today looks like a trivial problem in a few weeks time.

A rebpel?
If you’re being walked out by two individuals, I vote for leaning over, biting off th enipple of one and kicking the other in the junk and then running out. Do that the second you get to the door for sweet, sweet freedom.

Why not? If I don’t post it tomorrow and then resign, I lose 6 month’s salary. Not a trivial sum.

You have not given a full picture of the circumstances

Just don’t do anything impulsive

I was awake until after 02:30 this morning, agonising.

What happened??? You’re killin’ me here!!

The letter went in the post at lunchtime. They’re talking about me leaving at the end of next week.

Of course, that sweet, sweet freedom will only last until the cops book you for assault. :cool:

Just make sure if someone takes you by the elbow and tries to escort you that you yank your arm away and say “unhand me!”

Same here. I’ve been encouraged to decorate but no dice. If worse comes to worst, they can keep my toothbrush, toothpaste, gum and pile o’ pennies.

On second thought, I’m taking those pennies with me today.

What are you basing this on? As a software developer, it’s been company policy of every company I’ve ever worked at (except for the current on, ironically) that when you put in notice, that’s your last day on the job. You get walked out friendly like - after you go to your desk to clean up the goods. The rare exception to that was coming in to keep working for knowledge transfer, but computer access was was cut off. It’s never been thought of as a negative thing… it’s just protecting costly data.