In this thread I relate how I’m thinking of quitting my job. Monday is the decision day. But if I do decide to go, there’s a possibility I’ll be walked off site. It’s not probable, though - they’re too short-staffed and I expect they’ll want a handover period.
But I believe in being prepared. So how should I prepare for it? I’m not looking to do anything illegal, immoral, or even fattenning; just be my professional best.
And what if they ask me back? During my gardening leave, that is. If it’s afterwards, that’s a different matter.
Well, the obvious is to make sure you take any personal affects that you’re attached to home before you quit. Sure, they’ll box up the crap from your desk and mail it to you, but if there’s anything you would hate to lose make sure to casually take it home now.
Take your personal items home first. Scrub your incriminating computer files. Leave large wads of gum under the desk. Take a big crap in the toilet and don’t flush. Rearrange everyone’s stuff in the refrigerator. Change the screen saver on your computer to “(Boss’s Name) jerks off in the bathroom and smears it on doorknobs” or similar and put a password on it. Tape a smelly fish to the underside of the sink. Wear a T-Shirt that says “Muff Diving Instructor” with a picture of a couple participating in oral sex on the back. Change all the secretary’s speed dial numbers to sex lines. Plus, what Zebra said.
My husband and I used to joke that when he finally got to quit being a child support enforcement officer, his last act would be to pretend to be taking a phone call and end it with “You shouldn’t have fucked her then!” while slamming down the phone.
Unfortuantely when mr.stretch did quit his job it was due to disability and he felt too crappy to burn any bridges on his way out. Plus he keeps thinking he’ll get better and might have to go back to work there*.
To the OP: Clean off your computer, box up your stuff and take it to your car, then quit.
It doesn’t sound like the type of resignation that usually leads to being walked off site, unless there are other factors, such as you working on a very confidential project. For example, you’ve been offered a package, are they prepared to operate after walking everyone who takes it off the job? Also, it’s not like you’re leaving for a competitor. Nevertheless, discretely removing personal effects from the office is never a bad thing. Also, once you’ve given the resignation, I suppose technically they could decide to walk you off site at any future point once they’ve reassigned your duties.
stretch, I almost think he should go back at least for a day just to use that line! LOL.
I kinda agree here with that. Unless the company is a real POS, I think it’s unlikely he’ll be walked off the site.
By all means, though, take the personal stuff out. I make it a practice to NEVER have more personal stuff in my cubicle/office than I can put into one small box in less than 5 minutes. No personal photos, no degrees/certificates on the wall, my cube is bare.
We’ve heard a lot about what to do where you’re walked from, but give where you’re being walked to some thought too. You need an appropriate vehicle.
There must be a few options:
A red Ferrari (or some expensive convertible) full of hookers (can’t decide whether they should be high class or trashy - both work well)
One of several sinister black limousines in a motorcade (with motorcycle escort), preferably flying the flag of some Latin American or African dictatorship.
Take home some personal stuff in advance. Leave about a small boxful.
Clean your computer of *most *personal stuff. Delete then defrag. Leave a few innocuous items. Forward anything you want to save to your home, and make copies also.
Take your personal possessions home before you quit. The last company I worked at laid off a lot of people. I remember one instance vividly. The security people gave a departing employee a hard time over family pictures and some odd items like a coffee mug. I kid you not. It wasn’t on the official list of items removed. :rolleyes: Didn’t matter that the people (still employed) who walked with him out the door vouched for the items. It took an hour to find someone “qualified” to make such a monumentous and complicated decision.
Take a memory stick with you and download what you want to take with you and delete everything that is no longer relevant to you or the company. Always go out on a high note because I’ve seen a number of instances where people ended up working at other companies for someone who used to work under them. Oh, just remembered, I interviewed at a company that employed the guy mentioned above and he went out of his way to say high when he saw me and introduce me to the people doing the interview. It really put a nice spin on things (although I accepted a different job). NEVER burn bridges.
Don’t take it personally. I didn’t read the other thread,so I don’t know what industry you work in. I work with a lot of investment bankers and they understand that as soon as you resign you have no business being in the office. It’s no big deal. Of course, some of the humorous ideas above are pretty good.
