I’m looking for a reality / sanity check please, and peoples’ experiences.
This is a sort of stream-of-consciousness post (no, I haven’t been drinking) so it rambles a bit.
The background: my elderly aunt is in a nursing home recovering from two heart attacks and a stroke. My father, who is also elderly, has been working on her house (think Miss Haversham), but it’s really beyond him. My brother and his family are not in range. It so happens that where I work are offering voluntary redundancy. I’d get 6 months salary for leaving. I’d be fully occupied with getting her house ready for her return in late spring / early summer and there’s my own house to be rented out or sold too. Then I’d be looking for part-time work (this may not be possible) while managing her affairs and looking after her. Her medium and long-term survival is anyone’s guess: they say the guttering candle lasts the longest.
The problem, part 1: I’d be giving up a job that I enjoy and pays well and has nlmost no commute but isn’t going anywhere - but then I’ve got to be realistic and admit that I’m not going to be the next Dell or Gates or Trump or Murdoch.
The problem, part 2: there’s an inheritance, which needs defending. Her house is worth money simply by its location. She’s been burgled several times. Last time, they stole my father’s long-case clock. Someone needs to be there to prevent squatters.
The problem, part 3: she’s a smoker, and while she’s not smoking at the moment, she has stated that she will restart when she gets home. Quite rightly, she’s been refused an oxygen cylinder because of this. I’m terrified that she’ll fall asleep with a lit cigarette and burn the house down, with everyone (including myself) in it. There’s already been one near-incident.
The problem, part 4: I simply do not know the effects of a longer-term break on my employability (I’m 40).
I love my aunt, and someone needs to do something. I’m the obvious choice. My father is putting a lot of pressure on me; more comes from my conscience. But I look in the mirror and wonder if I am martyring myself. Am I up to the job? I feel it’s the right choice and the correct choice but it’s a massive leap for me.
