How/Should I respond to this letter from my old school?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So I got a letter from an alumna of my grade school. And I’m really interested in responding to this letter, only I don’t want to come off as a present member of the trenchcoat mafia. So anyway, here’s the letter (edited a bit, of course):

"Dear fellow [grade school] alumni:

"My name is [name], and I graduated from [grade school] in [recent year]. I am now a [year in school] at [public high school]. Though I no longer attend [grade school], I still have the pleasure of spending two afternoons every week at [GS], where I work at the front desk and help with the extended day program. I enjoy my afternoons at [GS]. When I look around, I see students excited and happy because they are in a caring and friendly place.

"Annual Giving finances many of the enrichment programs at [GS]. For example, Annual Giving contributions are used for new software and help finance field trips and the Caroline Furnace trip. In addition, Annual Giving helped make many of the renovations possible, including the [name]Arts Center and the [name] house reconstruction. I spent six years at [GS], and I now see how imporant Annual Giving was to my time spent there.

"I hope today’s students at [GS] have an experience that is as good, if not better, than the one we had. You can help this happen by contributing to Annual Giving. A small donation, even if just the price of a movie ticket, will help the studenst of [GS] receive the best education possible.

“We will always remember our days at [GS]. Please help to ensure that the future [GS] graduates’ memories are as wonderful as ours by donating to [GS] Annual Giving.”

I don’t plan to send any letter back to the student who wrote this letter because said student obviously didn’t know that this letter would be sent to some of the more … less pleased, disgruntled graduates of that place. And this person doesn’t need the kind of reply I envision right now. However, there are people still at the school who do know what an utter crock of shit it is to imply that even a small percent of my memories from that place are anything in the general vicinity of positive.

My current plan is to send a letter to the school, or perhaps email the head of Annual Giving (assuming said person has email listed. This place is more technologically backward than Mars during a power outage) and explain to that/those persons why I won’t be giving any money to that school ever again unless I go senile and somehow start to think that I didn’t experience Hell there.

However, my usual modus operandis is, shall we say, a bit long-winded (death by systematic refutation of factual errors). However, “I chose not to give money to [GS] a few years after I graduated from it. Please take me off your Annual Giving mailing list. Thank you” would be rather weak. Suggestions?

2

Well, punha, you could explain that you already give in the form of school taxes.

I would just ask her if she had any idea just how expensive movie tickets are nowadays.

Or, of course, you could ask if you could claim it as “donating to charity” for income tax purposes.

There are a great many things you could say, my friend. The sky is the limit!

3

Write a long, seething, scathing letter of reply. Let if overflow with the kind of bile and rage that institutionally-ignored-and/or-encouraged childhood suffering inspires when remembered and steeped in.

Then set it aside. Breathe for a while. Go outside and take a walk. Notice little things–the shape of some clouds, the hue of the sky, the way the sunlight reflects off of glass, the expressions on other people, your breath, the solidity of ground under each step.

Return home, and throw the letter of reply away unsent, and live on.

4

Write a long, seething, scathing letter of reply. Let if overflow with the kind of bile and rage that institutionally-ignored-and/or-encouraged childhood suffering inspires when remembered and steeped in.

Then set it aside. Breathe for a while. Go outside and take a walk. Notice little things–the shape of some clouds, the hue of the sky, the way the sunlight reflects off of glass, the expressions on other people, your breath, the solidity of ground under each step.

Return home, and throw the letter of reply away unsent, and live on.

5

What Drastic said. Or, just skip writing the letter in the first place and get over it.

6

Write a letter back stating that if the current students are going to have memories that are as fond as yours, they should consider having the current students put down. It’s the only merciful thing to do.

A little drama goes a long way :slight_smile:

7

“Dear sirs: As I am currently part of the Witness Protection Program, I am unable to contribute to your fund. Please pretend you don’t know me.”

8

Gorgon, this place is a private school. I don’t think a whole lot of tax money has been given to them.

Drastic, I had hoped to actually, maybe clue them in as to why I wouldn’t be giving them money.

Tangent, run along now:)

Ethilrist, amusing but if one was in the witnes protection program, wouldn’t one not say … you know what, nevermind:)

Beelzebubba wins cool points (not that they’re actually worth anything, mind you) for inventive SN. I was actually going to suggest that if the students have many fond memories, they probably have not had any cases of sexual assault in their time there, nor have they been victimized by large numbers of people. My happiest memories of that place are leaving it.

9

I repeat what I said in journal. Tell them you won’t give them any money until they start (insert school policy that could prevent what happened to you in high school).

Both nasty and reasonable. I’ve decided that when my school (also Catholic and clueless) comes after me for donations, I’m going to refuse them money until they allow a Straight and Gay Alliance-style student club on their property.

Heh. They’ll probably never contact me again. :rolleyes

10

I had hoped to actually, maybe clue them in as to why I wouldn’t be giving them money.

I would venture that the fundraising department (love that “Annual Giving”) doesn’t really care WHY you aren’t giving–to them it’s just another “no.” Pretty sure bet that whatever you tell them will have no effect whatsoever.

If you really want to get it off your chest, write the letter but don’t mail it, as Drastic suggested.

If you really want to have your story heard with some chance of results, write a letter to the appropriate person–headmaster, dean, president, principal, etc. And while you don’t have to sugarcoat the message, if it’s mostly ranting and vitriol it will likely get tossed. The trick is to write a “nice” complaint letter, telling them what profound asswipes they were in a civil tone (though a good sarcastic barb or two won’t hurt, and can be great fun).

If you don’t want to be asked again to contribute, tell the fundraising department, but don’t bet the rent that your wishes will be honored eternally.

11

Has the administration changed since you graduated? If it has, then the school may be a completely different one than what you remember it as being. That doesn’t mean you owe them your emotional OR monetary support. It just means that writing a scathing letter to this administration is liking complaining to Bush about how Clinton handled the Whitewater investigation.

If the administration hasn’t changed, then by all means communicate with them why you are so unhappy with them if it will make you feel better.

And, then, as others have said, do what you can to move forward.