In the event that we had to eat you, how do you think we should cook you? Do you think you need seasoning? What sort of vegetables would go good with you? Should we serve you over rice or pasta?
Personally, I’d like to be made into a stew. I think I’d go really well with carrots and potatoes. You can serve me with a nice thick piece of crusty bread to sop up the gravy.
I’d be so delicious.
[Will Ferrel as Harry Carey]
If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? It’s a simple question. I know I would! I’d cover myself with brown mustard and relish…I’d be so delicious!
[/WF as HC]
Yeah, this is sort of along those lines.
I think I’d like to be put in the blender and be made into a Smoothie. With sprinkles.
Chopped up and stir-fried, with lots of veggies, garlic and hot peppers. Over rice.
I’m a tough, old broad so I’d have to be slow cooked. A stew would be nice.
With some Fava beans and a nice Chianti
Sprinkles of what, Eve? A friend, maybe?
I’m already pickled. Serve away.
A guy like me, you can’t eat me all at once.
Soak me in moonshine for 24 hours and poke olives in all of my orifices. Warm in oven and serve promptly.
Stick me in the deep fryer the way you would a turkey. I would like to be eaten the way I ate life.
Honey bourbon with a 48 hour marinade. Start 24 hours before death.
Roasted with onions and garlic. Served with mashed potatoes, gravy, steamed collards & cornbread.
I’d like to be served with fresh Fugu liver pate. I want anyone who kills and eats me to suffer.
Spit-roasted over a slow fire. You can admire my attractive figure while you eat me!
Eat Me RAW!!!
Eat me slowly at first, but then speed up towards the end. Don’t use your teeth. Be gentle.
I see myself as a 158 pound hors d’oeuvre. I say slice me thin, pile me on Triscuits and pop me in your mouth with a garlic-stuffed green olive. Bonus points if you find a nice cheese that goes with my gamey flavor.
Ugh. Looking back, I apologize for that puerile, obvious joke. Please don’t burn my dog.
Thanks.
Oh, and as for the real answer, fry me, then boil me in a jambalaya. Or grind me into taco meat. Serve with pepper-jack cheese and plenty of tabasco/hot sauce.