How soon is too soon to live together?

I was inspired to ask this because of another thread regarding how long one should wait before getting engaged.
I’ve been dating a wonderful man for 6 months or so and we’ve recently discussed moving in together. I do believe that I’ve found someone I want to spend a significant amount of my life with. A few things: we both have children from previous relationships, but they get along well and enjoy spending time together; I’ve never “officially” lived with anyone but myself (and of course my parents when I was younger).
I normally just troll the threads, getting insight from you intelligent people and occasionally put my two cents in, but I really do appreciate your opinions!

I moved in with my husband 6 weeks after we met and I had two small children. It worked out but in hindsight it could have gone so wrong in so many ways.

However, I think that after 6 months you’ve got a pretty good idea of his personality and the timing is probably pretty good.

Obviously there are no right or wrong answers here. Six months isn’t a long time, but it’s not an unreasonable amount of time, like 6 days would be for example.

You don’t say how old the kids are; could you discuss the idea with them, or are they too young for grown-up discussions?

Any odd, or different habits that you have from one another (food likes and dislikes, smoking versus non-smoking, what amount of alcohol consumption is OK, bed times, TV and movie likes and dislikes) will be multiplied by a factor of eleventy after you start living together.

There isn’t some magical period of time after which point it’s okay to move in together with someone.

Moving in is easy; moving out afterwards can be extremely difficult. Just know what you’re getting into before you make such a commitment. Do you know, and do you trust this person enough that you can handle sharing a living space with them, every day? Bathrooms, bedrooms, TV remotes, intermixing books, splitting bills, daily chores, all of the mundane minutiae of daily living you’re going to be sharing with not only this person, but your respective children as well. That’s a lot to consider, and I would advise you sit everyone down and have a frank discussion about all of these things before you do anything that may be difficult to undo.

The kids are 11 and 9, old enough for their input. In fact, I think getting their opinion would be the first step.

We have the same habits and views as far as alcohol/smoking, and our schedules are pretty much the same. We both work the same schedule, give or take an hour or two.
We enjoy a lot of the same things and have similar personalities.

It’s never too soon if you have someplace else to go if it doesn’t work out. It’s that simple. It’s not important unless you’re giving up a house or apartment that you could just move back to. My observation is losing a place is what motivates people to live together, and it’s often too soon, or just a bad idea. I’ve seen people without kids do the thing where they spend most of their time together at one place and still insist they don’t live together because they still have two homes. They’re actually living together, so when the lease is up, formalizing it isn’t really a change. But with kids it’s got to be harder. In your cases, you and he have kids, and your asking them to live together too. They may get along with each other, but they’re not doin’ it like you guys, so they don’t have that big of a motivation. But I’d say do it before your lease is up, or you sublet, or sell, or do anything that doesn’t leave you the option to say, “Hey, I changed my mind, I’m going back home”.

I think a lot here would depend on who has what rights with both kids. If you both have the kids most of the time, one of them is going to have to move from their home to a new home. That can be really hard for a child.

If not, then you should consider having the adult who does not have primary custody of their child move in with the other adult.

(And make sure that you have a way to back out. It might not work out.)

All I can tell you is I asked my son what his opinion was before my now-husband moved in with us. That was the only deciding factor. What the children think.

My ex-fiancee and I moved in together before our first date, but then again we were engaged.
Don’t judge me, it’s only happened twice that I’ve been engaged to a woman before our first date.

Alright, I’ll bite, how did that happen?

I’m curious too…

Arranged marriage?

First time: Met her on a Thursday night. First date Saturday night. On the the way to the movies she says “Debbie Cad [name changed obviously], that has a nice ring to it.” She insisted we were engaged, even after I broke up with her and a year later moved to another state to finish college.

Second time [the one from my post]: Co-worker and there was some romantic interest on both sides . Thing was my daughter had just died and she had just broken off a long-term engagement so clearly we were both making rational decisions. So one day after school I said, “We should get married.” and she said yes. So then we decided to move in together and two weeks after that went on our first date. We broke up about two years later deciding we both had issues to deal with as individuals before we could think about having a healthy relationship with anyone. Bizarre thing is except for my high-school sweetheart <insert story about how I reached the heights of idiocy breaking up with her>, it was the best relationship I’ve ever been in.

I think it’s really important that everyone be on the same page about what the move means. If one person is thinking “This will really simplify our lives and schedules and save some money” and the other is thinking “This is a trial run to see how well we get along when we see each other all the time, and if it goes well, marriage is the next step”, then it’s a really bad idea. But if they both think it’s the same thing–be it the first or the second–whenever is fine.

Ok, let me be the wet blanket/old foggie/whatever.

Before becoming engaged is too early.

Once engaged, shack up.

{Sniped by Mando Jo again I see}

We’ve discussed marriage (after living together and a decent engagement, etc), so I think this is more a step in the latter direction. I tend to think that life is short, why waste time over-analyzing things, but I also realize that 6 months is not that long of a period to know a person.

Was that the only nice ring involved?

I don’t think 6 months is too early…things are different for everybody. It gets especially difficult trying to decide when things are right when there are kids involved.

I’ve been with somebody now for 5 months, and it’s going great. We are talking about the possibility of moving in together, but not until spring.

She has a 7 y/o and I have a 2 y/o. I haven’t met her son yet, but she hangs out with me and my boy.

It’s really funny that this is the smoothest first 5 months of a relationship I’ve had, and I’ve moved with with people (including my ex-wife) earlier than this before.

I owe you a beer for that one.

Sometimes you just know when you’re meant to be with someone. I’m by no means wanting to rush anything, which is why I’m giving this so much thought. I worry that I’m going to over-think the situation though.