Ok, this is what really gets me. WHAT she was going to pray about:
“after asking me about the various early-middle-age health concerns I have, spontaneously suggested that we pray together about those issues”
“Various middle age health concerns.” What, exactly is anyone’s God going to do about that? Either you a) continue getting older and continue wearing out and continue having more concerns, which is a bitch but the situation everyone is in, or b) he decides to call your dumb ass home and solves the problem entirely. Bang! You’re dead! No more middle aged health concerns.
Stupid, stupid, ignorant doctor. It actually makes me mad to think about someone in whom I would place my trust for my health responding thus.
I saw a doctor whose new patient questionnaire asked if you were ethnically Irish. This was in the US. Now, since I do have a few potato famine refugee ancestors, I answered yes. I don’t know what the doctor did do with that information, but I didn’t get probed on drinking issues (at least beyond the basic screening questions), whether I think any of my sisters might be being held against their will in a convent, or whether or not any past injuries resulted from trying to commit terrorist acts against the UK government.
I don’t know why you’re in therapy, but you could use this as an opportunity to be assertive. Even if there was some evidence that prayer is helpful (I’m doubtful there is), you have every right to reject therapeutic approaches that make you feel uncomfortable. A therapist who doesn’t respect this doesn’t respect you.
That’s hilarious. I love the image of an vexed God smiting the ungratefully aging Skald.
And I know New Englanders get a lot of crap for being unfriendly, but I can’t imagine anyone I run into ever, under any circumstances, asking me if I wanted to pray with them.
The pray request was completely over the top out of line and IMHO reason to find another doctor. The concern about your sexual history might be semi-excusable if the doctor has recently been on the front lines of public health care in one of the larger hospitals where a lot of the patients are not forthcoming with the full truth about their sexual histories. My MIL is a nurse and frequently has to talk with patients a while before they will give her completely honest answers. If this is the case, the doctor needs to be advised that her bedside manner should be improved to build trust rather than resentment in patients.
All these comments about racing to find a new physician over the prayer thing have me thinking: don’t you people value what’s most important in a doctor?
Which of course is his/her willingness to write prescriptions for whatever you want.
On second thought…yeah, I’d find a new doc pronto. And then at a minimum I’d complain to the practice manager (if it’s a group practice, assuming the practice isn’t called Servants Of Jesus LLC).
I had a woman doctor who was a native of Nigeria and was raised by missionaries. So I gave her a pass on the praying for me stuff at first. But it wasn’t long before I felt as though she was more concerned about my soul than she was about my body.
Since I rarely saw her I let it go. My mistake. Eventually she made an error in diagnosis which was problematic for me and when the time came for her to take responsibility she evaded that with manipulation and dishonesty. Because of this I was treated for about fifteen years for a condition that I was later told I didn’t have.
Did she do it because she was female? Christian? Raised by missionaries? From Nigeria? I dunno. I’m taking responsibility for this one. I saw a red flag and ignored it.
Is it applicable to your situation? I have no clue. We all know our own red flags when we see them.
I second this. If one of my docs (docs that I am the boss over, that is) did this, they’d get an earful from me. Our job is to treat their legitimate medical needs, with their informed consent.
I’d actually guess that there already are other people who see the prayer thing as a positive–that’s why she does it. It would make me wary, if only because I’m always wary of people inserting religion–and specifically Christianity–where it doesn’t belong. My first instinct is that they aren’t all that good, and are using Christianity as a crutch to get more customers. I see it all the time, especially in online businesses. It’s so bad that I sometimes warn my (mostly fundie Christian) Facebook friends about this stuff.
If you’re good at your job, you don’t need this type of gimmick.
In some cases, it can be, especially if the person is of an ethnicity where red hair is not the norm. Extreme malnutrition can cause reddish hair, although it’s not a normal orange-red color.
The number of sex partners thing: I’m surprised that the questionnaire would ask how many, but given the information, I don’t think it’s necessarily unreasonable for the doctor to ask for an explanation if somebody has had an unusually large number of partners. And I do mean “explanation,” not “excuse.” I think it’s good that they inquire about whether the person has had the requisite STD testing.
What is NOT okay is for the doctor to pass judgment on the person’s behavior. I don’t accept that having had 100 sex partners at age 43 is necessarily an indication of a person having some kind of problem. Different strokes and all that. In Skald’s case, it was and he dealt with it and good on him. Once he explained, she should not have made a deal of it.
This is the kind of thing that really discourages people with less-than-standard sex lives from being honest with their doctors and/or even seeing doctors at all. Even when it’s less overt, it can be a major factor.
Skald, yes your (ex-)new doc’s behaviour was both strange and inappropriate. She is not your pastor and not your shrink. She was out of bounds on both counts.
Really, she sounds over-earnest.
Maybe she has a genuine (if misguided) concern for her patients that compels her to go beyond the call of duty.
Maybe she wants to feel more important and that compels her to try to be more than she is qualified to be . (Although being a doctor seems plenty important to me.)
Or maybe she just got the hots for you and that made her entirely too interested in matters of your heart, mind and soul that shouldn’t concern her.
Rushgeekgirl, your therapist sounds just a little controlling. If she’s helping you though, that’s great. (The helping thing, not the controlling thing.)
I do know that there are some heritage related health issues, my first husband was Norwegian and English, and apparently there is some eyelid problem that is more or less chronic lowgrade blepharitis that tends to be frequently found in Norwegians. I suppose there could be something that runs in Irish, like sickle cell in blacks and Tay-Sachs in Jewish of eastern european descent.
