How to Annoy People

Got any tips?

Hey everyone! Let’s ignore Azure Eternity’s thread!

::giggles like a little girl::

::runs away::

One of the funniest examples of how to annoy people came from the infamous Opie and Anthony radio show (on 102.7 WNEW in NJ). One of them called up a Sears store and just kept repeating the phrase “butt plug”. Nobody could figure out what he wanted. The conversation went something like this:

“Can I help you?”
“Yes, butt plug?”
“What?”
“Butt plug.”
“What are you looking for? Spark plugs?”
“Butt plug.”
“What kind of a spark plug?”
“No, butt plug.”

This went on for about three minutes, and tried the patience of three different Sears employees. I was laughing for about twenty minutes straight after I first heard this. The MP3 is widely circulated; try searching for “butt plug” on Morpheus. You will not be disappointed. I know several people who have tried this prank, and apparently it works quite well every time. If you slur the words enough, people just can’t figure out what you’re saying.

-Andrew L

This may sound a little juvenile, and it is, but if you’re really looking to get under someone’s skin, and you don’t mind looking like an eight-year-old, you can always just repeat the whatever they say. Try as they might to ignore, it’s pretty much a sure fire way to piss someone off.

Never commit details to memory. Keep asking the same question over and over and over again. Annoys the !@#$ out of me.

Hum constantly.

Wait until a really suspenseful point in a movie, then tell your friends loudly “Hey, I heard how this ends…!”

Get in the 10-items-or-less lane at the grocery store, insist the cashier accept a 2-year-old coupon for 30 cents off Shake ‘n’ Bake and then try to pay by check.

Carry on long cell phone conversations at the top of your lungs in public places. When saying “They started doing shots of tequila and decided to head to Tijuana and things really got out of hand” has the attention of everyone within earshot, glare at them and say “This is private!”

Thanks Ballybay, you just reminded me of a few more.

Picking up on the cell phone idea, bring your cell phone to the movies, and make sure it’s on. Then have your SO call about an hour after the movie starts, and proceed to have a loud argument, the more expletives you use [especially during a kids’ movie] the better.

And speaking of kids, bring your youngins, if you don’t have any, borrow some, to a loud, violent, horror movie during the 10 o’clock show. Make sure they don’t fall asleep, and don’t let them cover their eyes. You’ll make a whole theater worth of friends in no time.

Whistle. Not a tune, just a single uninterrupted tone. All the time, especially in the elevator.

Remember Annoying Man from SNL? He used to hold his finger right by someone’s ear without actually touching them. It’s completely annoying. Try it!

[Jim Carrey]Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?[/Jim Carrey]

It’s from Dumb and Dumber, and I can’t properly reproduce the sound in print. I hated the movie, too, but it speaks to this thread topic.

Ignore them. :stuck_out_tongue:

teletubbies

Just being yourself seems to work for me.

Insult them constantly, and do it deadpan. They’ll think you’re being sarcastic, but they won’t really be able to tell.

The “I’m not touching you” thing tends to work (that’s when you hold your finger really close to their face, moving it around and repeat “I’m not touching you” over and over and over and over again).

Mumble childish insults under your breadth at them, but make it fairly audible. Pottyhead is my favorite.

Play gangsta rap music really loud. Especially if you’re a skinny white kid.

Throw food. Or, if you have a drink with lots of ice in it, hold it between your thum and index finger and squeeze. This will shoot the ice at them and can get really annoying. And it’s fun.

Fart. A LOT. And don’t appologize.

Don’t bathe.

Did I mention, “Be yourself”? Okay, I’m done.

And be sure to carry 12 items. Of which three are unpriced/unbarcoded, so the cashier has to ask for help.

Teach a learner-driver to reverse park at peak-hour on a busy road, and keep the tram held up for 20 minutes while all the commuters get hot and VERY bothered. (And continue to talk inanely on their mobile (cell) phones)

Practice your (vocal) operatic scales, incessantly, LOUDLY, four houses away, but still very audible!

Cough as if you have consumption right through an otherwise interesting philosophy lecture.

Leave your dog outside to bark, and bark, and bark until you get home at 4.00 a.m.

Oh, and definitely the supermarket check-out routine.

Yes, I’m peevish, these have ALL happened to me today!

The ultimate How to Be Annoying list.

:slight_smile: LOL! Holy gravy, that funny! You made my day!

I know a song that’ll get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves, get on your nerves,
I know a song that’ll get on your nerves,
Get, get, get on your nerves.

I know a song that’ll get on your nerves,
Get on your nerves, get on your nerves,
I know a song that’ll get on your nerves,
Get, get, get on your nerves.

*Repeat until someone shoots you

This seems to be my youngest brothers favorite way to annoy the living #@$! out of me.

First, think of a mundane question,(Why are you sitting there?; Why are you wearing that shirt?; Why does the dog have brown hair?)…etc.

Next proceed to use the answer given in an even more annoying way just add why to it.

Example: Why are you wearing that shirt?
ans: Because it is the only one clean.
Next ?: Why is that the only one clean?
ans: Because I didn’t do laundry today.
Next?: Why haven’t you done laundry today?

etc.,etc.,etc.

Thus ending up with one pissed person.

Yes I know it is extremely childish, but I promise it will work.
CAUTION: May result in black eye!!!

Kal, I always sang it as:
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, and this is how it goes (bum bum bum):
<Repeat>

This may sound a little juvenile, and it is, but if you’re really looking to get under someone’s skin, and you don’t mind looking like an eight-year-old, you can always just repeat the whatever they say. Try as they might to ignore, it’s pretty much a sure fire way to piss someone off.
d&r