After a little more than a year of being a stay at home mom I am going back into the workforce and have applied for a few jobs. I got an email yesterday from the company I really want to work for that asked me for a time today when they can call for a phone interview. So exciting! But also a little bit :eek:
The problem is that there are going to be a couple of questions that I am not quite sure how to answer. The first is that they are going to ask why I have been unemployed for the last 15 months. While I do have some things I’ve done during this time that would sound good in an interview (some consulting work, wrote a children’s book, etc) I am going to have to justify the time off and I don’t think mentioning having a very young child would be the best idea. How can I explain the gap in employment without shooting myself in the foot?
The second question is somewhat related to the first. The job is actually not in my city but instead it is in a suburb of Boston about 3 hours north of here. My husband and I decided several months ago that even though we love NYC it isn’t the greatest place to raise a child and did a lot of research to find somewhere that would be a better place for our family. We picked a few different places that met our criteria, went to visit them, and then decided that this suburb was the place we liked best. Now I’ve been sending out resumes and cover letters with a brief explanation that my family is moving to this city soon without getting into any details of why but I am pretty sure the interviewer is going to want to know why we are moving several states away from where we currently live. I don’t know how to answer this question without getting into the details about affordable housing, excellent public schools, etc. Could I fib a bit and just say that we are moving because my husband has been offered a job in the area or is there another answer I could give that would be better?
For the first question I think saying you did some consulting work or were being a self-employed author is fine. Actually, I’d be surprised if those two things weren’t on your resume already! Thereby, removing the need to explain a gap. I mean, you were open for consulting the whole time you were off right (wink wink)? So you had a 15 month stretch as a self-employed consultant. No biggie.
For the latter one, I think you’re overthinking this question as well. Just tell them you liked the area and wanted to move out of the city, so you’re looking for a job there before to move to the town of Wonderful.
The first one is kind of tough. Obviously you did take off a year because you had a baby. And there’s no way you’re going to get a job without them finding out sometime that you did, indeed, have a baby right around the time your extended period of unemployment started, so they’re going to know you fed them a line during the interview. I’m sure you’re worried that the honest answer will get you thrown right into the reject pile, but I’d be honest & upfront - you had a baby, old job wasn’t going to work with the baby (which I seem to remember from your previous threads), so you decided to take time off from work, but do consulting on the side. In that case, the consulting work makes you look very good - you kept your hand in - and you’re being completely honest.
If you decide not to go that route, please don’t try to hide your family situation until after you’re hired. People have kids, and a company that won’t hire you because you’ve got a one year old will absolutely not be a good fit for someone with a one year old.
The second question is easy - tell the interviewer, who presumably also lives near Boston, that NYC sucks, and Boston is great. That’ll score you bonus points with any native Bostonian.
I don’t think taking time off to having a baby is that big of a deal these days. Especially in more urban places like Boston. This isn’t the 1950s. I would be honest about that. And I would certainly mention the consulting work and book writing. It shows you weren’t just sitting around watching Oprah for a year and a half.
Every company I’ve worked for seems to have lots of women and many of them get married or pregnent and have kids. Plus do you really want to work for a company that is so backward that they would frown on that sort of thing?
No, most of those questions are irrelevant and bordering on illegal. I mean they might causally want to know from a conversational point of view. “Oh you’re moving from NY to Boston. That’s cool. A-Rod sucks. Blah blah blah.” But for the most part, interviewers don’t really care about why you are moving to their state.
People overthink interviews. We don’t analyze every word and response with a fine-tooth comb. Really most interviewing questions don’t have a right or wrong answer anyway. As long as you come across as knowledgeable, hard working, responsible, confident and not angry and not a weirdo, you should have a legitimate chance at the job.
As a hiring manager, I’m going to disagree with muldoonthief a bit. Do not mention your child at all. The interviewer cannot legally ask about that, so there is no need to volunteer the information. The “self employed consultant” answer is satisfactory - do put it on your resume. Be prepared to offer verbal examples of experience gained/expertise given while consulting and why you want to leave that to work for my company. I would leave out the author piece unless you were published and received at least a modicum of success in book sales, or writing childrens’ books is a skill set required for the job. Otherwise it would come across to me as “fluff”.
As an interviewer, I would likely not ask why you are moving into the area. It could lead to some legal gray areas. If they do ask, a simple “Family considerations” should suffice.
I’m actually going to offer a bit more specific advice.
If your interviewer is an older male (older than 30-35) or a woman of any age, stick with the work-related information ONLY. DO NOT mention family or children AT ALL. They aren’t allowed to ask for a reason (they will ask, or they’ll ask leading questions like “Is there anything about your life you would like to tell us?” The answer is something about your work ethic or an interesting project you completed, not to whip out your baby pictures!)
To the older man or any woman interviewer, your last job became a bad fit (don’t say why) and you moved to independent consulting for a time - the economy was bad, and the independent consulting period lasted a bit longer than you wanted it to.
If you’re interviewing with a younger guy, and he seems to be flexible or friendly, you can briefly mention that your company was a bad fit during your pregnancy, and when it was discovered that they weren’t able to work with you, there was an amiable departure, and you went to independent consulting.
Note that the focus on each of these answers is on your WORKING, not any of your other personal circumstances. They want to know that you will WORK for them, not that you have a kid, or that you write books, or whatever - focus constantly on what you did and can do professionally.
First thing, do not be deceptive. For me that would counter any good things you bring to the table. You don’t have to volunteer information, but don’t disguise it.
Being unemployed these days is not a big issue. If asked, emphasize what you did do, like write the book. “Self-employed consultant” in my field is code for unemployed person who can afford business cards. If you have gigs to talk about, do it, otherwise don’t emphasize this.
I doubt anyone will ask why you are moving to their area. If they do, just say you studied it and think it is a nice place to live. Few people living there are going to argue.
In general, though, you are excessively worried about you, and you should be more worried about them. If you know what the job is about, figure out how to tell them how you would be good for them if they hired you. If you don’t know, ask, and then tell them how you would help them. I hate resumes that say the objective for the person is to make use of their skills or to learn stuff. That is all well and good, but the objective should be to make more money for the company which is going to be paying them.
I disagree with Lasciel, btw. Older men might look very favorably on you staying home. It is more likely that younger women without kids or who did not take time off would be negative. But again, don’t volunteer it, and concentrate on the value you bring to them.
I agree this is the best way to go. And if the consulting isn’t on your resume now, get it on there. If you really want to explain more (and I don’t think you need to), you can just say you had some family things to take care of. A smart interviewer will know not to ask for any details, because that quickly treads into EEOC territory. If the interviewer does ask, just say that the situation was sorted out to the point that you’re ready for full-time work again.
I’ve done cross-country moves/job searches. No one has ever asked me why I’m moving, FWIW. And yes, lots of people end up deciding to move out of the big city, so even if they do ask, I doubt they’ll think anything of that answer.
The book is on my resume since it is available on Amazon and is physical proof that I didn’t just sit around for 15 months. The consulting is not because it was really sort of scattershot…I helped probably half a dozen people during that time but I never got a consultant’s license or advertised myself or anything. I don’t think the consulting thing would be very impressive outside of a single sentence explanation of the fact that I did continue to work in the industry even if it was only here and there.
I totally understand what you are saying about not wanting to end up in a company that won’t be a good fit if you have kids. I feel like there is a difference between having a kid and having a toddler though. With a 6 year old or a 15 year old you are still a parent but you have a kid that is in school every day and an employer doesn’t have to worry about flaky childcare causing you to be unable to come to work on time the way they do with a toddler. My concern isn’t that they will be uneasy with me being a parent, it is more that they will be uneasy with me having a young child.
We are looking at moving to Westborough, MA.
Excellent. Good to know!
Thanks! I will keep the phrase “family considerations” in mind.
Good point. It isn’t like I got laid off or anything like that so there are certainly worse answers out there.
Thanks for all the advice! I have the interview today at 3:00 so wish me luck!
Nothing to hide in this case. In some cases a mother returning to work is seen in a favorable light, just as a man with children is often seen considered a good employee. You can’t escape people with dumb ideas about what to consider when hiring, but it won’t do any good in the end to deceive them about something like this. The fact that you remained productive in a business capacity during your time at home is certainly a plus in your case. And you have no reason to hide the fact that you are moving to the Boston area from New York because it is a better place to raise children. This will also so be viewed in a favorable light in most cases.
As matter of fact, any expression that Boston is a better place than NYC will be well received. You should throw in that you want to leave NYC because of all the stinking Yankees fans, that will cinch the job for you, and they’ll probably throw in some relo money as well.
30-35 is “older”? Do you think the OP is interviewing at Facebook or something?
Most hiring managers are well into their 30s and 40s. Sometimes we let the 20-something analysts interview a candidate to see how they get along or if they have specific technical knowledge.
In fact, I generally look poorly on a company if I’m being interviewed by some 25 year old “vice president”. It’s like "really? What makes you so much smarter than your colleagues that you are VP 3 years out of college?’
At one company the kid interviewing me noticed we went to the same college. And on queue, he asked me the same stupid questions everyone from my college asks - Were you in a fraternity? What house? Do you ever play Beruit anymore? Uh…no dude. I’m in my late 30s. I’m to old to even pretend to care about that shit anymore. Not even ironically.
Anyhow, I digress.
Generally you do want to keep it about business. I’ve interviewed a lot of candidates who ended up getting into some personal shit that just made them seem weird or off-putting.
Also, some places to tout being women/minority/children friendly as a perk of working there.
I can’t really offer any help but I consider it pretty sad that being a parent would be seen the same as just hanging out playing video games or something, and I’m an older male. Though I also parent my own children and am probably seen as odd.
I’ve been unemployed for 15 years. Hope I’m never in a position to have to beg someone for a job. Guess I’ll have to resort to crime if the time comes.
Anywho, OP, I’m not really seeing anything to lie about. It’s not like you have cagey reasons for not working or for moving. You’re not on the lam or anything. If they asked me, I’d say I wrote a book and consulted in the meantime. Feel free to throw in the kid if you want, as employers aren’t going to bin your resume for having a baby, but I just tend to skip personal details if I can. Also, moving to a Boston suburb because it seems like a good place to settle down seems as good a reason as any other to me. But I’ve never hired anyone, so feel free to disregard.
I think it would depend on whether the dates of the contracts are listed, or not. If I see consulting, but not much detail, I assume the person was unemployed. I look at a lot of resumes, one thing I look out for are gaps in employment and try to find out the reason. If a person said, that s/he took off a year to have a baby, that seems perfectly reasonable to me. I took a year off because I was burnt out, that’s tough to explain: “well you see, Mass Effect 3 came out and …”