The bearer of this card
requests the honor of your presence
at a gala celebration
Friday, the seventh of April
Two thousand seventeen
at eight o’clock in the evening
in his trousers
Reception to follow
Yes, all of this! TAKE YOUR TIME. If you rush it, you’ll just be a creep. Also, be careful what you buy. No girlie mags or foot fungus meds.
I remember a tactic that worked well on me back in the day.
I was working at a hospital ER during summer break from college and one of the paramedics appeared to be interested in me. We smiled at one another and commented on the weather a couple of times, then one morning he said “I was at local dance club last night and saw a girl who looked like you. Were you there last night?”. I said no, I wasn’t, but could see this as an opportunity and replied that I did like the place and did go sometimes, just not last night. He used this opening as I had expected him to and asked if I would like to go there with him sometime.
Had I been uninterested in him, I would have said that I wasn’t much of a dancer and didn’t go to clubs. He would then have avoided embarassment, gotten my hint, and not asked me out.
I haven’t worked in customer service a lot, but back in the day and when I was single, there were customers I liked, some that creeped me out and many that were just part of my day that I was expected to be polite to.
So starting with the idea that she has perhaps noticed you, the next step is to somehow break the ice. If I was working, I sure didn’t want to be the girl hitting on the customers, but there were some I might have liked to have gotten to know a little better. So find something innocuous to chat about, like the weather, but insert something personal in there. Not just, nice weather we’re having, but “wish I didn’t spend all day/night/weekend rehearsing and had more time to enjoy it” Or if it was me, “Great day, perfect for walking the dogs…” If she’s interested, it gives her a hint of who you are. If not interested, then she can just smile and nod, ring up your purchases and move on to the next customer.
I wouldn’t start with a compliment - they make me feel slightly awkward.
Your best tactic is small talk. Personality, not coming off boring and common interests (and flirting) are revealed in small talk.
To the OP: What do you do and what do you like? Work from there.
I have approached dozens of women ‘cold’ but after ‘feelers’ gained through small talk. I need some evidence from them that’s it’s ok to pass small talk. Some adventures took months.
I don’t understand all the nuances of where she is positioned and how to chat her up, but you MUST do this (and it’s a lie, but it protects all involved). It seems as though she is reasonably positioned for some small talk:
"I have to ask you, but did I see you at <this place I go to which clearly indicates my interest in X> the other day/night/whatever?"
Let me tell you something: If I did like a customer, and they said, “Hey, did I see you at the blah blah event or the whatchmacallit place”, I wouldn’t know they were lying. Maybe they think they saw me. But, if I liked them, and I didn’t like the concert or place they went to (bonus if I did), I’d say, “No, I wasn’t at that concert, but I wish I was there at least to check them out. Sounds cool.”
That’s an example. She could blow it and miss her chance to reply in a way that is nuanced and welcomes you to engaging her. Nothing is guaranteed, but this is a classy and tasteful way to try something and use white lies to protect everyone.
As a literal example, to someone who worked as an admin at a local body shop, I said, “I swear, you are either the woman I saw in the stands at The Flyers game on Sunday, or you have a twin in that section.” She said, “Oh my god, that wasn’t me, but I love the Flyers.” I could now explore the idea of taking her to a game, or talking about the team, etc., which will reveal more. Now, if she loved the Flyers but had zero interest in me, her answer would have been something such as, “Nope. Wasn’t me.” Anyway, two dates later and I wasn’t interested and she wasn’t, but we had a couple of good nights out, and one was just enjoying some drinks at a sports bar watching the Flyers. She’s cool, but we didn’t click.
And before that, I just had to work out this little crush.
Well shoot, when you put it like that it sounds positively disturbing. Note taken, thank you. 
“How would you like that sliced?”
Also cucumbers, condoms, Vaseline, rope, and a greeting card saying “Thinking of you”.
I haven’t been on a first date in thirty five years, but ISTM that “faint heart never won fair lady” is a sounder aphorism. There’s a difference between finding out if you got a chance, and rushing.
Close the deal. Suggest something specific (“I have tickets to the International Moose Chip Juggling Championships a week from Saturday - would you like to go? I can pick you up around seven.”) If she says No but leaves it open (“I can’t make it Saturday - I have to meet with my parole officer - how about some other night?”) then ask her again a few days later. If she says No, she is married/gay/has an SO/is focusing on her career/dating triggers her explosive diarrhea then move on to someone else.
Of course, maybe she will say “I only date one-legged Jewish cowboys” in which case you introduce yourself as Hopalong Horowitz and see where it goes from there.
Regards,
Shodan
Agreed. Politely, calmly, & smilingly express your attraction to her and find out if shes single or not. If not, take no for an answer, tell her whomever shes with is a lucky guy/gal/trans, whatever, move on, & find another store to go to for awhile if you’re embarrassed (which you shouldn’t be). If so, see if shes open to dating you and take it from there. You could end up wasting alot of time and mental energy beating around the bush. Not always easy I know, but she may respect your honesty, and even if shes not available you might make her day if you’re a gentleman about it. Good luck! 
Some great advice. I knew I could count on the straightdope community. The last time I asked a similar question in another board, someone suggested that I stick my finger up her but and she’ll love me forever, lol!
Anyway, so this morning I went to the store knowing that she would be there around that time. She was at the register, and I made it a mission that I would go to her. She was finishing up ringing a customer when I put my stuff down (lube, condoms, and booze–j/k!). She greeted me by asking how I was and in kind I asked her. For a brief moment it was just us, but then a customer stopped by, grrrrrrrrr, but my transaction was just about done anyway. When she handed me my receipt, she paused and leaned over, looked me straight in the eye (I had shades on) and wished me a good day. Maybe my head is re-imagining this, but that is exactly what she did. I probably shouldn’t over think this.
I was trying to read her name tag, but at the end her name was on the receipt. I forgot to look at her finger–drats!
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This is not useful information to you at present. Actually, why is the name tag thing even coming up in this thread? Just forget her name right away. Then, later, if the subject comes up, ask her for her name. Heck, she might even volunteer it at some point. Don’t address her by name without her having told you that name in person.
Detective skills are not charming, they are stalkery.
Um, or so I’ve been told. By a friend. No personal experience here, no siree.
Oh, and good luck. We’re all counting on you. 
Maybe it is time to go back to the tradition of using the intercession of a Matchmaker.
Let’s see what we have learned so far. It is inappropriate to break the ice with someone who is on the job. It is stalkery to try to gain enough information to arrange a contract at another time or place. If they wear a name tag, it is improper to read it. The only thing left is to be formally introduced on Sunday morning after church. I wonder where future babies will come from.
Of course he can read it. I’m just saying that the information isn’t useful to him at present. What do you suggest he do with it? Walk up to her and, out of the blue, say “Hi, Laura”?
Also, don’t google her address and show up unannounced at her house. Chicks totally don’t dig that, as it turns out. Or so I’m told. To be honest, the less homework, the better.
Actually, yes: Be extremely awesome, and then let *them *hit on you. No one is hitting on you yet? Increase level of awesome until they do.
In other words, stay home until you really really need to stock up on groceries. Then go to the store at 3 am and line up at a male checkout line, so it doesn’t look like your stalking. If thee is a female in the store, be sure you don’t make eye contact, so it doesn’t look like you’re stalking, or don’t accidentaly see her obligatory name tag. Go to a different store each time you shop, so it doesn’t look like you’re stalinkg. That creeps them out. You know, be awesome. And then have them take a number at your front door.
Not really. Just go to the grocery store and buy your groceries. Read name tags, stare at boobs, whatever. Do strange things with bananas, just as long as you buy the bananas. Be a person. Befriend a checkout girl if it seems the right thing to do, but be aware that if she turns out to be a dillweed, which is not unlikely, you are now stuck with this friend until you swap grocery stores.
Meanwhile, be awesome. Make money. Take showers regularly. Interact with the outside world. Eventually, you’ll end up in a relationship with someone. Maybe not the checkout girl, but someone or other. I call it the Yakov Smirnoff solution. In **MB **land, other people hit on you.
dirty hippie, I honestly wish you well.
I have no idea how or if this will work out, but this is your life we’re talking about and I wish you well.
BTW, generally speaking, doesn’t everyone have a crush on someone at their local grocery store, at all times? I thought that was just one of the side effects of grocery stores. There’s pretty much guaranteed to be at least one young and attractive female presence, who appears with regularity in your local environment, and who is contractually obliged to at least not behave as if she hates you.
Buy coffee, buy toilet paper, have your heart skip a little beat when you see that checkout girl you have a crush on. It has pretty much been a constant for me ever since I first encountered grocery stores. My current grocery crush *does *have a ring, BTW. And every time I see it, I die a little inside… although only very, very little. Oh, well, as long as she’s happy. I haven’t actually ever read her name tag, for some weird reason. Although I have peeked in the general direction of her boobs.
Can I get a show of hands? Hands up everyone who currently has a crush on someone at their local grocery store. Then everyone who doesn’t. Actually, don’t do that, it’ll totally derail the thread. Maybe I should start a poll.
Is it now the responsibility for the woman to hit on the man, who just stands back and looks awesome? Who does awesome things, like interact with the world, whether it is his nature or not? In other words, fake?
Be the hot guy who all the girls will hit on, who kicks them in the gutter after a one-night stand and moves on to the next one? Why is it that that is what all the girls want? While the lonely one who says something nice to them in the store is a stalking creep.
Ah! No. Don’t kick the ladies in the gutter. *That *would be madness. When one shows up, for heaven’s sake, try to keep her around. They’re not coming along *that *thick and fast.
But, yeah, apart from that, you have the general idea. Don’t think chase. Think bait. You know how they say “fish in the sea”? They say “fish in the sea”, not “wildebeest on the savanna”.