How to approach someone you have a crush on

In My Humble Opinion
1

So recently I realized that I’ve developed this little crush on this person who works at the local grocery store I frequent. It just happened. I normally use the self checkout, and I think a few times she was stationed there to help customers if they run into problems. I didn’t really notice anything special about her initially. But now I do! I really want to ask her out…well, maybe ask her what her name is first…but I can’t even do that.

I haven’t seen her stationed at the self checkout lately. She’s been at the register the past few times I was there. I don’t want to ask her for coffee when she’s at the register because there’s usually a line of people. Don’t want to embarrass her or me.

I sort of have an idea when she works (I know–staaaaallker!) and want to catch her when the store is fairly slow. This is a big grocery chain, btw. So how does one approach a crush whose name and relationship status are unknown? Heck, I don’t even know if she is even aware if me.

What makes it tricky is that she’s at work, and I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or draw the attention of her coworkers. I know the advice of just being yourself and ask her out is easier said than done.

Sent from my C6916 using Tapatalk

2

In my experience it will make her uncomfortable to be asked out based on almost no knowledge of her except how she looks and maybe a few tiny glimpses into her personality based on her behavior at work.

I would try to strike up a little meaningless small talk with her like commenting on how she works a lot because you notice her there every time you come in. If she responds enthusiastically by continuing the small talk or asking you something about yourself you can take it from there. If she seems totally disinterested in your attention or uncomfortable about it don’t ask her out. Keep trying small talk or look elsewhere.

3

Late shift.
Quiet dark parking lot.
Car.
Clean rag.
Chloroform.

4

I always think “Hey, let’s bang.” works well. you’ll either get a rejection or a happy situation with none of the annoying awkwardness of did she know what I maent when I said we should go to move.

5

How accurate is your username?

6

Don’t bother her until you know her name and she has looked you in the face while discussing something entirely unrelated to her work. She’s near you as a person doing her job and doesn’t deserve to be pestered in a captive environment by someone who thinks they want to hold a pretty thing.

7

Ya. Prune your melon and have a hot bath.

8

Don’t ask out someone who is at work. They are in a service position and are forced to be polite. This puts them in an extremely uncomfortable position.

9

Not on the first date!

{SLAPS QuickSilver With A Wet Trout}

10

That’s really sound advice, crazy horse, nawth, and Darryl. This was always in the back of my mind, but it’s good to hear other people voice it. Makes it more legit, I guess.

But if I do want to get to know her, how should I go about getting her to notice me, short of wearing a clown suit? And how do I go about getting her name without sounding like I’m hitting on her? I’m generally shy, so that’s a bit of a problem. And I don’t have an alpha male attitude. Also, I’m very conscious of my actions, and I don’t want to come across as a creep or some loser guy hitting on random strangers.

I do believe we’ve made eye contact before. Not too long ago I came in and she was at the register. I thought about going to her and possibly make my move, lol. I didn’t and instead used the self checkout, as I normally do. I chose the station that allowed me to face her. I remember when I tried to catch a glimpse of her, she saw me…and we caught each other’s gaze. Maybe my mind is just imagining this.

Another time, a while back, before I really took notice of her, she was at the self checkout stations. There was one item I decided not to buy, and I briefly paused before I walked off thinking whether I should just leave the item there or give it to her. I didn’t want to be like those jerk customers who drop things they don’t want in places they don’t belong, and certainly not at the self checkout. So anyway, I picked up the item and turned around (she was behind me at the time) and before I could utter a word to get her attention, she turned around as though anticipating my action, which sorta surprised me. I said I don’t want this, and she smiled at me. The genesis of my crush may have started there.

Anyway, I’m not a real pot-smoking, sandal-wearing, drug-dealing, dirty (as in don’t bathe) hippie! Just a guy with long hear because I’m into music…metal lol. Also don’t have tats or piercings like most metal people. Just a nerd with long shiny silky black hair /que harp being strummed and waterfall sounds.

Sent from my C6916 using Tapatalk

11

Let’s put aside the whole ‘alpha male’ idea, shall we? Just be a people, accept and enjoy that other people are people and that no one is superior/inferior to any other person regardless of what they feel. She’s getting through life the best she knows how, full of questions about the human condition just like all of us. And I bet she wears a name tag, look close or check your receipt if she’s your cashier.

Indicating interest in another human (platonic or otherwise) w/o obvious creeper intent which can also net important information -

“I like your frames, where did you get them?”
“I like your haircut (or color), who do you go to?”
“How are you? Good to see you again.”

The key is to shut up and listen as they respond, while looking them in the face while smiling and being interested in what they say. You’ve invested little effort if she prevents a conversation from starting and you haven’t been so overbearing as to need to avoid that store in the future.

12

Nawth, by alpha I meant assertive, aggressive type. I’ve heard that girls like guys who just go for the kill, so to speak. I know everyone likes confidence, but I tend to over analyze things before I take any action.

Yeah, next time I’ll go to her when she’s at the register and ask for her name and maybe also comment on her hair, which is long, a bit curly, black, and beautiful.

Btw, I just watched Amelie the other day and it resonated with me.

Sent from my C6916 using Tapatalk

13

some do, what you want is the ones that don’t - so, be yourself.

other than that, I got nothing - but I wish you good luck! :cool:

ETA: glad you know you aren’t actually unwashed, I wonder that every time you post

14

Not every woman likes any one kind of guy, not every woman even wants to date guys; everyone likes what they like, it can change through your lifetime and truisms are rarely true when it comes to dating.
That her hair is similar to yours is a great coincidence, could be a great opening for you to be friendly. Don’t make it an opening to ask her out right then, though, or you’ll come across as insincere.
Amelie is a cute, fictional movie.

15

I once had a crush on a Wendy’s manager I used to frequent. And I’m fairly certain she liked me back.

But I never managed to ask her out. Because, ya’ know, you don’t ask the service person out while they are at work.

I fucking regret I didn’t make an exception just that once.

Typically speaking, I still think it’s a bad idea to ask the service person out. Unless you have damn good reason to believe they like you back. (And them smiling and being nice to you does not constitute such a reason.)

16

Is there any tactful way to do it? Like, say, passing them a card with your number on it? Or would that just be creepy.

17

This Bruce Springsteen song seems relevant.

18

I’m female, and my best piece of advice is not to rush this. It’s okay to visit the store a little more often, to always go to her register, and to chat a bit. But don’t freak her out by pushing too hard or acting too soon.

Watch for her to recognize you and smile when she sees you. If and when she starts making personal remarks to you, you can start thinking about asking her out for coffee or a drink.

And check for a wedding ring ASAP.

19

WikiHow has got you covered.

20

I work in a grocery store deli and this would be an unpleasant experience at the level the OP’s talking about. ‘I don’t know your name but my penis might like you and I want to explore that.’