How to be Happy Alone?

I am not asking how to find a passion or a goal in life.

How do you get your mind to lean towards entertaining you in most situations instead of bringing up adult life stuff like efficiency etc.?


  • Interesting memories;
  • Habits of observation;
  • Accumulating knowledge about things that you see around you so it’s more rewarding to mentally engage with them;
  • Always carrying an interesting book or other reading device or music/podcast/conversation;
  • Enjoyment of imaginary arguments or daydream scenarios;
  • Hobbies/arts that give you a chance to let your mind roam creatively in planning a project.

“Adult life stuff like efficiency etc.” shouldn’t be disdained as a part of your necessary and rewarding activity in the privacy and comfort of your own brain. It’s good to think about ordinary logistical and practical matters too.

But if you find that you’re focusing on them to the point of finding your mental activity boring and frustrating, then definitely look for ways to help your mind branch out into more fun and challenging realms of thought as well. All work and no play makes mind a dull toy.

I believe that some people are more inclined to do it naturally than others, and vice versa. I have trouble getting my mind to lean towards adult life stuff like efficiency etc.

Being alone is something I excel at. It is a learned skill just like any other. I break my day up with my duties, my pets, reading. My vocation is art, so I must/need to be alone to be creative. I can’t tell you how, I just know it can be done. Practice.
Are you alone by choice?

Are you naturally anxious? It may turn out to be something that you need to face head-on and deal with

Yeah, if your brain is constantly trying to process obsessive or “emergency”-type thoughts and you can’t just relax and let your mind drift, that can be a symptom of something that needs to be addressed.

See user name, make assumptions.:cool::smiley:

I think some people are naturally able to relax and enjoy being alone. I’m that way and so was my dad. He loved going to the cabin by himself during deer hunting season and just putter around by himself and relax. Half the time he didn’t do any hunting. (He had 4 daughters and a wife at home, so that was probably one reason for getting away. He loved us and was a great dad.)

I love being alone. I read, watch a movie, walk the dogs, weed my garden, just enjoy the quiet house. My husband, on the other hand, can’t sit still to even watch a 1/2 hour sitcom without me pausing it several times.

I think this is correct, either you’re comfortable by yourself, or you’re not.

I think a lot of people could get significantly comfortable-er than they are, without extreme effort. But it’s true, some just don’t, I guess.

You’re probably right.

I have many, many, many hobbies, all but one of which is entirely doable alone. (Why did I get into board games. Why? Why?) None of them are particularly admirable, much less productive (give or take writing novels), but they’re fun and do an excellent job of keeping me entertained regardless of solitude. Honestly I don’t get enough time to myself.

Full confession though - they don’t actually help to distract me from “adult life stuff like efficiency”, because adult life stuff never had any power over me to start with - I’m a notorious lazy bum. So I can’t promise any of my hobbies would be compelling/distracting enough to distract you from a compulsion to sort your forks, or whatever.

I keep my forks pre-sorted.

I have always enjoyed my alone time, even when I was a little kid, and while I can waste countless hours by myself I know people who crave constant human interaction. No judgement here since everybody is different, and some of us are just more comfortable in our own skin.

Social Media. Many people online are Homo Interneticus.

That is very bad! Alcoholism may be very dangerous or even a gateway to drugs like opiates.

I like Runescape. I am among the elite. At my level every advance requires a lot of work.

Pets do a wonderful job at combating loneliness.

I’m not sure the OP was asking about dealing with “loneliness” per se, so much as the general aim of making one’s alone-time mental activities more entertaining rather than just focusing on duties and schedules and the demands of day-to-day.

If so, Netflix should fix them right up.

Presuming they can settle their whirling minds down enough to enjoy it, that is.