Books, puzzles, Internet, TV & Movies, and even programming. Also walking in interesting places.
Give me access to those and I could do 20 years of solitary confinement standing on my head.
I like having other people around, but I don’t get antsy by myself.
Setting some sort of goal and concentrating on that and not being alone might work well for the OP.
No problems being alone. I almost prefer it.
I always have books on my Kindle and phone. I will also play chess on my phone if I’m waiting for an appointment or something. There is ALWAYS something to do around the house. Always.
And I’m teaching myself to play guitar. That can eat up hours at a time (until my fingers are too sore)
That’s how I understood it too.
I guess the best thing I can think of is to just be aware of what you’re actually thinking about while you’re thinking it, and deliberately choose to think of something else that you enjoy thinking about.
It’s sort of cognitive-behavioral therapy-ish, in that you have to be aware of your thoughts in the moment and deliberately change them.
An example might be that if you’re standing in a long checkout line at a store, and you catch yourself making mental lists and being anxious about what you need to do next, or trying to figure out how you’re going to accomplish something in the most efficient way possible, deliberately choose to start thinking about whatever fun thing you plan to do in the upcoming weekend, or about something you want to do in one of your hobbies, or how much you enjoy spending time with your dog/child/SO/etc…
I enjoy being alone. In fact, I probably need some alone time every day to recharge. After I retired I expected to get a little stir crazy by myself all day, so I planned ‘activities.’ But I have a lot of interests and one thing leads to another and now I have so many things to do in a day that I can barely leave the house.
Get work done early. Practice being inefficient - efficiency isn’t as important when you have time. Exercise like it’s a job. Turn off the TV. Go to a craft store or a hardware store and look around. Imagine the possibilities.
They lost me on the huge update a few years back. Tried again recently but I’ve lost the passion, at 94 farming! Still chuckling over the new quest with the bacon - “There’s got to be another use for pigs other than greased pig contests!” Really fun solo and an awesome community when I decided to try that.
My wife and I own a home on the Big Island. Most of the time its rented out as a vacation rental, but about 3 or 4 weeks out of the year, I book time to spend there. I own a business so I can take off quite easily, but my wife works in Corporate America so her off time is limited. This means she and my daughters only come with me one out of the four trips a year.
I love my time alone there. Local friends and neighbors are around, but for the most part I’m alone. We have a great property manager and excellent cleaning people so there is nothing for me to do inside, but outside in the gardens there is much to do, from weeding and trimming to remulching and harvesting the fruit from the trees. There is also plenty of time for reading and meditation. And best of all, I get to go to bed early;I’m usually asleep by 8:30 and up at the crack of dawn.
The week flies by and even though we “facetime” on the phone everyday, I’m missing my wife badly by the end of the trip.
And when I finally do get home, the sex that night is mind blowing. She even comes up to bed earlier than usual so I know she is also anticipating the evening’s festivities.
Anti-anxiety medication, and listening to music.
This isn’t exactly advice, as I have no reason to believe a person can simply will themselves to change their perspective, but I believe I understand what you’re getting at and my immediate response is to tell you the key lies in thinking outside of oneself.
As in, isolating oneself leads to misery and everything in life becomes self-oriented. Upon meeting new people: “Why does everyone hate me? Am I not good enough?”
A person who is not self-oriented may, upon meeting people who do not immediately like them, instead think, “Hey, I’m going to be nice to these people. Wonder what they’re so butthurt about.” (And oddly enough more likely improve the chances of being accepted by them in turn.) That may have been convoluted. I tried.
Somehow, happy people do not focus on themselves, I have found. I noticed that change in perspective in myself one day and pondered it for a while. Having spent most of my life deeply, existentially alone and depressed, I am suddenly peppy and energetic and unconcerned with myself. People don’t seem to be a threat. I have no actual advice as to how to switch perspectives, but once you shift focus onto the world around you, the gears seem to start moving again and the pieces fall into place.
So basically, here’s a shitpost that will make you cringe. It’s the equivalent of: “Hey are you anxious? Try not worrying so much.”
I believe the amount of stress in one’s life has to die down before they can really function properly. Willpower is often not even a factor. Huge misconception.
Pretty much, though: Find distractions. Video games, Netflix, etc. Something unchallenging to the fatigued mind you possibly possess.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert? If you are predominantly introverted, you don’t have to ask this question because you are comfortable with alone time and you don’t need to fill it with something external. If you are predominantly extroverted, you are energized by being with others and prefer to have something.
Generally speaking, of course.
It is the philosophy of the family I married into that one never goes anywhere without a book. Nowadays the book may take the form of a physical book, a Kindle, or a smart phone, but there must always be something. Even for Mr. CK, who is very strongly introverted. Absent any such external stimuli, he is a musician and creates his own music, and he is a writer and can dream up ideas for his next story, book, or comic strip.
Strange. I quit in 2008, and returned right after the update. Now I am in the elite – combat 136, Summoning 100, Invention 120, Slayer 107, 106 Ranged, 106 Magic.
I am too weak to quit – Strength 88.
There’s alone, and then there’s alone.
Being alone for defined limited periods of time is good, and you can learn to love it. Being “alone alone”, where you just don’t interact in real life anymore, is always harmful and can’t be improved except by returning to personal interaction.