Things You Do When No One Else Is Around

I’m not looking for particularly disgusting things, or illegal things (unless, of course, they’re funny. I like funny).

Me, after the kids go to bed and the husband has gone to work, I like to settle down with my crochet…

…and watch Keith Olbermann.

I don’t like sports. But I’ve had a crush on Keith Olbermann ever since he did a show on MSNBC called “The Big Show.” He’s hot. Whew.

I talk to myself… a LOT! But, hey, I’m the only one who really understands!

Funny faces.
And, as with just about everybody else here, cruise the web.

play musical instruments. no interruptions, no one yelling “that should have been a b flat.”

Mundane: Browse the web. Read. Sleep. Change the Launch Codes at Norad. You know, the simple things. :smiley:

Oh, and I have a imaginary Celebrity Bonefire. Where I stake a Celebrity to the pole and watch 'em burn while I roast sausages in the fire.

Clean my guns… They never can be too clean.

Talk to myself.
Pick at those white layers of dead skin under the corners of my toenails.
Pick my nose.
Rub my fingers in my armpit hair, then smell them.
Put small things in my mouth and chew on them. Pencaps, whatever.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Hmmm… I talk to myself. I dance, I sing, I pick my nose. I slide across my tile floor wearing socks. That’s about it.

dodgy alone at home…

CD Player on as loud as possible
Telly on too (but mute)
Reading a book aloud while jumping around to the music
I will also hold conversations with myself, write a shortstory or take strange photos.

I’ll second picking my nose and masturbating. Add cutting farts with honor and looking at fetish web sites.

I rearrange ALL the furnature, turn everything upside down and sing “Rule Brittania” while paceing the quarter deck of my make belive battle cruser, the HMS Manybigguns patrolling the English Channel against any and all comers.

Suddenly, we sight the German High Seas fleat! It’s 1916 and Vice Admiral Beatty signals us from the HMS Lion that we are to attack! The smell of cordite and blood is in the air as salvo after wicked salvo screech through the sky and slam them selves down on armor decks.

The For-mast comes crashing down with a screech of twisted metal and smashed rangefinding equipment, fires break out amidships, damage control teams rush to try and check the progress of the flames…
I scratch my butt, too.

yep… “finger meet dodgy, dodgy meet finger” might be an option too…
how could I forget about that???

dodgy :smiley:

I haven’t had much time alone in quite awhile, but that has recently changed so now I get to do the stuff I’ve had to restrain myself from:

Dancing around to MP3s or CD/Radio…with the tv on in the background (thank god I don’t pay for electricity here).

Taking very long very hot showers.

Talking to myself.

Listening to showtunes and singing along (I have a horrible singing voice so I only do this when alone).

Of course there are moments of, er, self-knowledge.

And once winter is over I can start walking around the house naked again.

Sometimes I’ll crank up the CD/mp3 player and perform an imaginary concert on air guitar and vocals, just like I did when I was 13. I also repeat certain words or phrases that amuse me over and over, using different intonations and vocal ranges. It passes the time quite nicely.

alone in my dorm:

watch History Channel
wear as few clothes as is comfortable
experiment with my hair
play Playstation
talk to my self while doing homework

alone in my home:

talk to my self while doing homework
make clothes
swim [in the summer]

I have no time alone. I can’t even take a shower without two toddlers standing there, saying, “Wanna bath?”

Time with hubby after toddlers are in bed: we sleep. We occasionally have gasp sex. Either is good.

Sometimes I even get to read a book that doesn’t begin with “I do not like green eggs and ham,” but that usually happens at work. Hour lunches are so cool.

I talk to myself, too. I have those imaginary conversations, you know? Can be quite entertaining at times.

Upham: You crack me up, man! I’d pay for a picture of that! (I mean, of you being a Mighty Warrior–not a picture of you scratching your butt) :smiley:

Hmm… I am practically always alone… do you want the story of my life or something?
[list][li]Lots of time spent on the boards or in #straightdope over in undernet.[/li][li]Every once in a while I give in and clean the floor off enough to walk on it.[/li][li]Homework will probably be working its way back into life fairly soon. :([/li][li]Music is a big part of life… without it, I’d be crazier than I am now[/li][*]Lots of time is also spent looking forward to phone calls… especially the kind that offer the chance to do the evident most popular all-alone activity… :wink:

Listen to music
Whine at friends (or strangers, whoever’s on)
Play computer games (Sims, Age of Empires)
Stare out my window
Write short stories
Think of new ways to torment DRY :stuck_out_tongue:
Clean stuff (okay so this is kinda rare)
Homework (Even more so)
Poke at my stuff (doll, fountain, stuffed animals)