:smack:
In my effort to be a smart-ass, I forgot the point of the game. My apologies.
Insert CD; click OK; pray.
How do you clean the fridge?
Bag, tag, and store for decay. Then get new fridge.
How does one convince the landlord to replace various appliances? (stove and fridge, in case anyone is curious.)
never mind
Find energy-waster appliance buyback program. Give him the money.
How do you shake a groovy thing if it has knurling on it?
With a rakish flick of the thumb.
(Thanks for the laugh, brujaja!)
How do you cheer up someone who just lost her job?
Tell her she’s one of your favorite role models?
How do you make the coconut cream they put in piña coladas?
Rent a clown. What? Doesn’t everyone enjoy clowns. Nice dinner.
How do you stop from waking up at 5 am on the weekends?
Stay up all night.
What I said, about the coconut.
(Thanks brujaja!)
Simmer shredded coconut, water; strain well; cool; cream will rise.
How do you woo a clown?
Get horn that makes “woo” sound. Squeeze. Flirt. Squeeze again.
How do you handle a hungry man?
Like this.
Obviously great minds think alike!
How do you deal with geniuses?
Set them to work babysitting and cleaning houses. Humor ensues.
How do you like to celebrate May Day?
Don blonde wig, tight dress; swish hips, purr. Hilarity ensues.
How do you put a colicky baby to sleep?
Have the vet do it.
How do you defend yourself against accusations of vileness and poor taste?
::sigh::
I’m not all the way through yet…but this joke just has to be told.
Nuke them from orbit. Only way to be sure.
How do you learn magic?
Find someone with worse taste, who inspired your pale imitations.
Like this. No, like that. The other way. Fuck it!
How do you deal with extraneous kittens?
Take picture. Make sign. Hang sign. Sell. Repeat.
How do you dodge a bullet?
By never having pissed them off in the first place.
How do you stop eating blackberry pie? (freezer died; had to make 3 pies!)
P.S. 5-4-Fighting: I figure you could be asking for real, because who else would ask that? If so, the popular answers are 1) Daddy’s voice, 2) put them on top of the clothesdryer while it’s running – they like the vibrations (needless to say, this is ONLY if your dryer is well-vented), and, 3) take them for a ride in the car or a walk outside.