She’s 63, so getting onto Medicare through Disability may take some time.
Some good suggestions here. To sum up:
Emergency Alert System. This is what will save her life if she falls or has a heart attack and can’t get to a phone. I’m fond of GreatCall 5Star for people who are not homebound yet. It works off cell phone towers instead of a base in your house, so it works anywhere you get a cell phone signal. It’s saved my mother twice in the last year, and she’s still a relatively young healthy woman (one slip on ice with a dislocated elbow and one maybe-it’s-a-heart-attack last month.) It also has a GPS feature that allows me to log in on the website and locate the device - wonderful if you have a wanderer, but I’ve used it several times when my mom’s misplaced it. (“It’s definitely somewhere in the house, Mom. Don’t drive back to the restaurant, you didn’t leave it there. Did you check the laundry room?”)
**Department of Aging. **This is usually your, if not one-stop-shop, your first-stop-shop. They’ll have information on many different programs in her area. They’ll know how to get her set up with Meals on Wheels, homemakers, respite care (if there is any in your area) and transportation.
The hospital social worker/discharge planner. These are the people who are supposed to inform you of community resources and set things up for you. In reality, they rarely do unless you demand it, because it’s a lot of work and they have a lot of paperwork to do for a lot of discharges.
**Catholic Charities. **In many cities, they provide Homemakers (often paid for through the Department of Aging or by Catholic Charities themselves) who work up to 5 hours a day 5 days a week in the case of extreme debility. They will cook, clean, do shopping and just generally monitor and spend time with a person as needed. If you can pry them off their cell phones.
Hired caregivers. You can do this independently or through an agency. Most people I know prefer to go the independent route. It tends to be cheaper and more stable. On the other hand, it tends to be more stable, meaning if you don’t like your caregiver, you have to fire her and look for another. If you go through an agency, you just call them and tell them his one isn’t working out, please send someone else. Accredited agencies should be doing criminal background checks on all their employees, but some slip through the cracks, for sure.
If it ends up being cancer, American Cancer Society and Road to Recovery.
Another potential option is to rent out a room to a nice old lady who is willing to act as a companion/caregiver. (For some reason in my city, most of these nice old ladies are Polish, but I’m sure that varies by location.) In exchange for room and board, she can have someone around most of the hours of the day to help her out with whatever she needs. Definitely do some google homework on this option first, to see how to run a background check and what sort of things to include in a contract to keep everyone safe and sane.
Peapod, Amazon Pantry and Amazon Prime have pretty much eliminated any need to go out of the house for shopping. Whether you need toothpaste, shoes, a new mattress or groceries, let them deliver to you.
Home health is not a great option here, to be honest. And I say that as a home health nurse. Home health is not for “custodial care” or the nitty gritty day to day slog through life. We nurses are there for an hour or so once or twice a week (it can be more often if you’re medically fragile and recently released from the hospital, but Medicare wants us to cut out daily visits ASAP) to educate, perform wound care, run IVs, clear trach tubes and that sort of thing. We can get you a CNA once or twice a week for bathing/dressing/preparing light meals/running a load of laundry, but Medicare only pays for a CNA for as long as you *also *need an RN or Physical, Speech or Occupational Therapist. Many private insurance policies don’t pay for CNAs at home at all. Our goal is to get the patient and family taught how to do these things so that we’re no longer needed. If there is no family, we’re kind of screwed, and can’t do much except suggest the above and/or placement in Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing Facilities.
Most importantly - call her. You, the OP. Call her frequently, just to say hi and how ya doing. Social isolation is devastating to health outcomes. That you can do from your own home. Just call her. Put it on your calendar for twice a week or something.
