I’m not sure that this is appropriate for such a new member, but I need a listening ear. If someone here would be so kind as to read this and respond I would be grateful.
My wife of 16 years and my three children, ages 14, 13, and 10 were hit a week ago head on by a drunk driver. All four died instantly. The past week has been a whirlwind of family, well-wishers, funeral services and burials. Family and friends being here have held me together. That all changed this morning when I took my sister to the airport. Everyone is gone now and it’s just me here.
I seriously want to die. I’m not suicidal, but if I were to suddenly have a heart attack I wouldn’t complain a bit. I just don’t know how to go on without my family. My three precious kids who all showed so much potential. My wife, who I started dating in the 10th grade. Life can change drastically with the blink of an eye.
I am teetering between denial and outright rage. Part of me believes that when I go to bed tonight I will find the warm and welcoming body of my wife welcoming me, saying “I didn’t really die in that car crash.” The other part of me wants to start throwing things, smashing things, tearing the house apart. She’s the only woman I’ve ever been with.
Right now I just can’t seem to believe I will go on. My best friend is a doctor and I’ve called him, but he is unable to break away right now, but has promised me he will come over as soon as he can.
If there is anyone here who has suffered through such a loss, please share with me how you managed to get through it. I simply don’t know what to do, how to think, how to act.
thank you for reading this.