I moved to Seattle from Cleveland in a bit of a hurry for a job a while back, so I just shoved everything I could into my car and drove out. I left a bunch of stuff all boxed up at my parent’s house with the understanding that my dad would send me the boxes. My dad decided that I had not done a good enough job packing the boxes, and took it upon himself to repack all of them. Thus he found the three boxes of porn.
He decided that ‘he didn’t want that kind of garbage in his house’ and told my brother to haul all three boxes out to the tree lawn to be picked up the next morning. I found out later that he went through them and took a dozen tapes to keep for himself. My brother peeked in one of the boxes, and called his friend who was leaving to go to college in a few weeks. They were gone long before the garbage men got there.
As pissed as I was at my dad, I was glad they went to a good home.
If I ever decide to thin my collection I will definitely stash it in the woods somewhere and not throw it out. Gotta pay it back.
Please don’t do that, it’s mean. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the business has to pay to have that dumpster emptied, and it gets annoying to write that check when you saw some random doofus’s couch in there last week
Not to mention the legal implications. A neighbor to my business saw someone using my dumpster a few years ago. He took down their license plate. The next day, I filed a police report.
Growing up, we thought the greatest thing in the world was this old shack in the middle of the woods where some of the older boys dumped a bunch of old water-logged (hopfully just logged with water) Penthouse mags. Of course we didn’t grow up with the internet.
I swear people look for the stuff. I dumped a opaque black bag of Playboys off at the dumpster in the apartment complex when I graduated college. 2 hours later, on my next trip, it was gone.
When I finished my tour in Germany I had to pack up all my stuff to be sent to my new unit in OK. Because I had been stationed on the Dutch border I regularly went over to the interesting stores and had quite an extensive collection. Rather than pack it all up I told everyone to stop by and take whatever they wanted. It was gone in about 20 minutes.
I like the idea of leaving it in the forest preserves/alley/near the Archdiocese/by City Hall. I remember finding a Playboy in an alley when I was 14. I’ll never forget you, Candy Loving!
I put all my videos and magazines in two paper grocery bags and dropped them off in the local high school’s student parking lot. I hope they found a good home.
Susan: That er, that Steve guy; how well do you know him? Are you close?
Jeff: Close? We’re porn buddies!
Susan: Porn buddies?
Jeff: Oh, yeah.
Susan: Is this code? Were you in prison together or something?
Jeff: No, no, no it’s simple; it’s a safety precaution, like a scuba driver swims with a buddy in case he runs out of air.
Susan: Okay, okay. Are you telling me that a porn buddy stands by with oxygen?
Jeff: No. Many years ago, me and Steve exchanged house keys–
Susan: Are you sure this isn’t code?
Jeff: It isn’t code.
Susan: Alright.
Jeff: In the event of Steve’s death the first thing I would do --upset though I will be-- is go straight to his house and remove all the pornography before his parents can find it.
Susan: You’re kidding!
Jeff: And he’s pledged to do the same for me. That’s how close we are!
Susan: You two have seriously made plans to destroy each other’s dirty mags?
Jeff: Who said, “destroy?” “Remove”.
Susan: You wouldn’t keep them?
Jeff: It’s a perk.
Susan: Oh, Jeff.
Jeff: That’s the beauty of it, you see. Your best friend’s dead, but there’s a bright side!
I’d just put it in my garbage. I mean…we’re talking about perfectly legal porn right?
I have to admit, there was a time when I had a sex toy graveyard slowly increasing in size in my bedroom drawer. Then I realized I didn’t really care if my neighbors/landlady/dumpster diving strangers knew I used them, so I tossed the whole lot in the trash.
