I agree. Coupled with the in school problems (a place I’m pretty sure set up consequences and cause/effect etc) really suggests not a naughty child but a troubled one.
This humor is extremely out of line for this topic and consider a warning for you, Sailboat. Don’t post like this again.
It definitely sounds like this kid needs professional help. Doormat parents do not cause floor-shitting, so don’t write this off as bad parenting. If they were abusing him, this could be the result, but it sounds like that is not what’s going on here at all, so try to support them instead of blaming and judging them.
Yeah… I was going to offer my usual advice about working with problem kids, which is to find some kind of reward that they truly value. Each kid tends to value something - often it’s a simple as praise or candy - but in working with kids through my church, I’ve learned that each kid responds to a different kind of reward. I frequently got the kids that the other adult leaders dreaded, and I rarely had the same kind of problems that other people reported. I worked mainly with boys in the 10-12 age range.
But with a kid who is this aggressive, I think he’s past the point where a layman can help. This kid of behavior needs professional help, probably with medication involved.
And I would cut the parents some slack. Behavior problems this extreme might be exacerbated by poor parenting, but they aren’t created by it. Maybe there’s some kind of physical/emotional/sexual abuse and maybe the kid is just chemically unbalanced.
Also, IMO, you need to refuse to baby sit him anymore until something changes.
( Personally I would tell any family member why if asked. )
(What dracoi said. )
Thank you for the comments. You have made good points about blame. I expect the energy expended in the assignment of blame in my family will exceed the effort for treatment.
Are there siblings in the home? I’d be seriously concerned about their safety if so.
Apologies. It sounds like a distressing situation and I shouldn’t have made light of it.
I’d refuse to be around him. Crapping on the floor is well out of my wheelhouse.
Pets too.
This sounds pretty scary (I’ve only heard of similar levels of misbehavior in kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder). I feel bad for both you, and your nephew, who obviously is hurting and out of control.
I doubt there is much you can do by yourself. If a psychiatrist is not yet involved with your nephew and his parents, I’d put all your energy into encouraging that to happen. They need professional help.
Both of these. The two most out-of-control kids I know well have perfectly normal siblings, and as opposite parenting styles as I could I imagine. Taking a dump on the floor at age 10 isn’t weak parenting; it’s something seriously malfunctioning in the child.
Blaming the parents is not only probably inaccurate, but won’t do anything towards getting the kid the professional help he needs; sympathizing with them might.
Sounds like a tough situation for everyone; good luck and hope things work out better.
Not just professional, but inpatient, and chances are, a child this disturbed would be referred to long-term residential treatment.
I know you’ve already stated this before but, NO PETS! Sociopaths start off by killing animals.
I love animals (sorta more than people) 
Wow…just…wow :eek: You should have mentioned that first. I don’t think anybody thought of a situation that extreme.
Any updates on this awful situation?
Not being alone with the child is not only better for your own sanity but also for the potential legal liability should the child make any molistation claims.
Orange13, I think your nephew’s behavioral problems are beyond you. It seems to me the kid needs professional help. And, if I were you, the boy would be PNG in my home.
Unfortunately, this kids has some serious issues. I’m not an expert by any means, and the level of problems is way over my head.
Psychology Today had an excellent article on how juvenile delinquents get created.
I can’t find get the article to show up, but it was titled “How To Create a Juvenile Delinquent With Materials Easily Available At Home” and quotes Gerri Patterson.
Anyway, it talks about starting with a difficult child and then how parents can’t handle the child and it gets worse.
My sister babysat her step granddaughter until the girl was four, and the mother did not do a good job of disciplining the child. (Note that discipline does not equal simple punishment.) Until the child was threeish, it would work that there would be two completely separate sets of rules, Mommy Rules and Grandma Rules, but as the child got older this became harder and harder to maintain. Eventually, my sister said she could no longer take care of the child.
I admire you for not simply walking away, as this child is really going to need some sort of help he’s not getting from his parent. However, there are limits to what can be done and talking to a professional is probably a good start.
Orange13, the behaviors you describe indicate a profoundly disturbed mental state for a 10-year-old. It goes far beyond the normal spectrum of behaviors. The boy certainly requires a thorough neurological and psychiatric evaluation.
Such behaviors can also be the result of certain stresses and tensions in the home. Young children may not be able to deal with / vocalize such emotions. Their disturbing behavior may indicate that their stress is so severe it has cut them off from reality. Do his parents fight often, or abuse the child, even verbally?
I have a 6-year-old child living with us that scared the daylights out of all of us when she reported seeing “people moving around in her bedroom, and scratching and shaking her bed.” After several days of gentle investigation, it turned out that she had seen a few disturbing scenes from a horror movie, and she couldn’t deal with it. We cut her off from TV altogether, and she was back to normal in a few days.
This may sound like “pseudo-science” but very young children are easily affected by such things. You may want to gently probe whether there are underlying issues like this in this child’s life. I admire you for persisting in trying to help this child. More power to you.