No you can’t.
The hell I can’t. You seem to be confusing age of consent with age of majority.
Nope, you appear to be confusing your authoritarian fantasies with the real world. if she wants to date someone she will, with your consent or without. The exact age she’ll start will vary, but 15 is a good estimate for the real world.
If you want to make sure she’s not dating some skeevy older man, the last thing you should do is push her away.
What the fuck ever. A 17 year old is almost an adult. An 11 year old hasn’t even gone through puberty. You’ve got soma whacked out hangups about this issue though, clearly.
I dated a 22 year old when I was 16, so I suppose I qualify to comment. I was over the moon about this older “college” man being interested in me–looking back, I can see that he was (most likely) afraid to date women his own age. Hell, for all I know he is deeply closeted or asexual-he’s never married or had a serious GF (or BF) after me.
This was 1979, so it can’t really compare, but we were not sexually active. We made out a lot, but he never went past second base, if he even did that. And thank god because there is no way I would have been able to handle that; indeed, I had no clue what 3rd base was (of course I pretended that I did). Mostly we kissed a lot. Honestly? It was nice–that was about all I could handle at 16.
Where were my parents? Dad was in another state and Mom was at work. I got out of school at 3; he had various college classes downtown, and Mom got home from work at 6.
I doubt my mother ever knew I “dated” him. I would not have wanted my daughter to date someone that much older. It’s a moot point, since she’s 21 now. I also don’t want my sons to date that much older or younger–not at that age. So far, so good.
Dio: you think you know and you have all these plans for when your kids are teens. I’m here to tell you that you don’t know dick about parenting teens. You need to be prepared to be flexible, non-controlling and patient. Of course you should have clearly defined rules and expectations, but you have no idea what curve balls those kids are going to throw at you. You can’t know–it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe you’ll get through relatively unscathed. I hope so. I was lucky enough to do so with 2 of my 3–the third will turn 13 this year.
Pick your battles–teen battles are the kind that tend to linger and can poison your adult relationship with your kids for decades to come. I’m not saying sit back and do nothing. I’m saying your word is not law and many a parent has lost the control war to everyone’s detriment.
That’s completely false! On average Dio has about an 85% chance of intimidating a squirrel.
That’s assuming of course it’s an ordinary squirrel and Dio is a level1NPC with slightly above-average charisma. Wait, is Super Tough Guy a prestige class?
Yuck. I know you think you’re only white knighting your defenseless little girl from perv-ball predators, but many of your statements go far beyond the basic guardian duties of parenthood into a weird creepy protectiveness of your future teenage daughter’s vagina that is just, well, gross. It’s also incredibly unrealistic – at best, you’ll succeed in locking her down until she’s 18, but that will just cause that much greater a freak out when she’s finally out from under your thumb.
Seriously, if you actually want to be a good parent, you should prepare her for a smooth transition into adulthood, with your daughter gradually getting more and more autonomy, instead of trying to control her every decision until the moment she’s 18. Get out of the mindset that you are the final authority on her every dating decision, and into the mindset that you’re there to step in if you discover a dangerous situation but otherwise it’s none of your business. That way, she may actually come to you if she needs help or gets in over her head, instead of reflexively hiding everything from you so you won’t try to make her live like the little kid you want to pretend she still is.
No! You’re wrong.
I’m not going to stop them from normal dating and exploration or freak out if they have sex. I’m just going to make sure it isn’t happening with adults, and that they aren’t getting into situations with a huge power differential.
You still don’t understand that, if your hypothetical 17 year old wants to sleep with 30 year old, she will.
You can do nothing to stop it.
What you can do is ensure that she’s able to make an informed choice, and ensure that she knows that you’ll be there for her if she does fuck up.
Making yourself dead or in jail achieves none of this.
Dio, this libel will stop now. You add next to nothing to this thread with your blanket pronunciamentos, and suggesting that other posters are contemplating horrific crimes is unacceptable.
You will receive a formal warning to this effect.
How about a warning for the poster who suggested that he would do something in real life to my real child?
Nobody talked about forcible sex with your daughter but you.
Because except in your twisted fantasies, there’s no such poster.
I’m not convinced that you’re an objective judge of what “normal” is. ETA: Now I know you’re not.
He said he might try to contact my real child, in real life, abnd “try it on” with her. How am I supposed to take that? Why is the kindest interpretation? How is it ok for someone to say that they’ll try to contact another person’s children and “try it on” with them under any circumstances?
Hyperbole. Obviously.
When someone tells me, “I’m tempted to find your daughter,” I’m not going to take that well.
You know what? If you hadn’t pretended your daughter was 17 I wouldn’t have said it. But, when she gets there, someone will try it on.
Oh, just to make it absolutely clear, “try it on” refers entirely to consensual activities. I don’t for a minute think you misunderstood, but I’m making sure it’s clear to those enjoying today’s episode of The Dio Show.
He was saying that he would flirt with her, and intimidate you.
Here’s what was said:
Your reply:
And then:
In other words, attempt to DATE your daughter, and thus, prove that there are guys who CANNOT be intimidated by you. He never said he would rape her.
And trust me, there are guys out there who would probably laugh in your face.
Yeah, the guy sounds pretty skeevy, or at least, “off”. Your reaction, however, is only going to drive her further away from you and closer to him. Not to mention destroy your relationship with your daughter in the long run.