Ivylad smokes those cherry-flavored cigars. Actually, I should say smoked, because he decided to quit and last night he finished up his last one.
I don’t smoke. I’m trying to be supportive, I hugged him and told him I was very proud of him, but I have no idea what he’s physcially going through. He cleaned our bedroom this morning, and admitted he did it because he was looking for something to smoke.
Any tips? I know not to nag, and to expect he’s going to be in a foul mood for a few days, but any suggestions?
Keep him busy or distracted. When he gets that “I could really do with a smoke” look, try giving him a glass of soda or fruit juice or asking him to do something for you.
And positive reinforcement: “Look how much money we’ve saved!”
Well, I used to put explosive loads in my husband’s cigarettes. I didn’t load every cigarette, only one smoke out of a carton, at best. So he never knew WHICH cigarette was gonna blow up in his face. However, he didn’t view this as particularly supportive.
When he DID go on the patch, I made sure to cook his favorite meals. He really loved the way the food tasted. I also made him a bunch of hard candy…raspberry, with chocolate centers. I am not a great candy maker, so they looked funny, but they tasted wonderful.
I second the positive reinforcement approach. While there are some truths to any negative-based messages you might give (i.e., “You don’t want to smoke because…” or the like), these will probably not be well-received by a person going through withdrawl. Especially one who knows that you DON’T know what it’s like.
Try making him a care package—hard candy, lollipops (similar hand-to-mouth motions as a cigarette), etc. Is there anything he’s really been wanting to buy? Maybe a picture of that item, with a note figuring out how quickly he can buy it with the money he’s not spending on cigars. Little notes of encouragement for him to find throughout the next few days.
I’m sure some recent nonsmokers will come up with other helpful suggestions. Good for you and SO, though!
Well, it was a bit of a false start. We went to run errands yesterday and he found a double pack of cigars in the car.
He start celebrating, “I don’t have to quit yet! I don’t have to quit yet!” I gave him a disgusted look, and said, “If you’re going to quit, quit. If you’re really serious you should throw those out.”
He compromised, by giving me half to throw away. This morning was his last one, so we’ll try again.
I like the idea of the care package, and he really wants some new speakers, so that’s a good idea too!
What was that made for TV movie, of a town that was promised some sort of major employer move if everyone quit smoking? One of the town leaders decided to have sex with his wife everytime he felt the urge, and one of the diehard smokers they convinced to move out of town.
It worked, they got the major employer in town, but irony of ironies, the employer was a factory that needed several huge smokestacks built
Naw, just kidding. Actually, give him more lovin’. Like qts said, keeping him happy, busy, and distracted from the cravings will help a lot.
Also, try to keep him away from situations in which he would normally smoke. If he usually smokes after a meal, go on a walk together right after eating. Go places which don’t allow smoking, like to the movies, and afterwards shopping, or keep busy in physical activity which precludes smoking, like swimming.
Don’t be too disappointed in him if he starts again. Every attempt to quit is a good start, and the time he spends not smoking is good for him. Even half-hearted attempts at quitting deserve some appluase as practice for the real thing.
LOL, I just laughed so hard I think I set off a car alarm down the street
ivylass , good luck. I quit cold turkey after 30 years because I was too depressed and unmotivated to go out and buy more cigarettes. Many months later I found a bag with 3 cartons of cigarettes. I’ve never felt so good about throwing something out before
