My fiance is trying to quit smoking after a 10-year pack-a-day habit. He’s cut himself back by one smoke a day since last month and seemed to be ok, but his last smoke was 2 days ago, and he’s having a horrible time. He’s irritable, depressed, says he feels like his head is swimming, shaky, nervous, and has trouble sleeping. He wants a smoke all the time. We tried Nicorette gum but it’s not working, and the patch gave him a bad skin reaction. I feel helpless because I’ve never smoked, so I don’t know what to do to make it better. Anyone have tips or techniques that have worked for you when the really bad cravings come along? Also he is wondering how long it usually takes after quitting before the cravings are bearable. I (and him!) really appreciate any suggestions.
My hubby and I quit at the beginning of March. We had tried the patch and the gum, and neither worked for us. We just quit cold turkey this time, with an occasional smoke here and there. The key is this: he has to really really want to quit for it to work. It has to be a deep-down desire to get rid of the nasty smell, the hacking cough, and the ridiculous expense in order for quitting to work. That’s why I was never able to quit before. We want to have kids next year, so I’m going to be getting myself in shape for the next twelve months.
Sorry if I didn’t help - but that’s what worked for us!
What is his motivation for quitting; I ask because in my experience, people who try to give up because they feel they should or because other people want them to hardly ever succeed in the long term and they also often have a really awful time trying.
Mangetout is entirely correct. I did finally manage to quit an over 20-year pack-and-a-half a day habit, but only after several false starts. You have to to really want it, or it won’t work. By a surprising coincidence, I’ve been smoke-free for one year to the day, today.
I quitted several times. So, I didn’t do so successfully, but I’ve some experience with quitting.
In my experience, the worst days are the second and the third, then the craving decrease, and more or less dissapear after about three weeks (that would be without nicotine patches, gums, etc…).
It’s much easier with patches, but on the other hand, you still get your dose of nicotine, hence you still have to “quit” nicotine. Nicotine chewing gums aren’t that great in my experience. But one should either quit either without any nicotine at all or using regularily patches, gums, etc…. If he alternates between not having nicotine and taking some in whatever form, he’ll stay dependant (since he has some nicotine from time to time) but still suffer from the craving (since he doesn’t have his dose on a regular basis). The worst of the two worlds.
As for “tips” for craving, I didn’t find any really efficient. Eating stuff is pointless, since it doesn’t reduce the craving once you’ve swallowed whatever it is you ate. Some people drink a glass of water each time they’ve a craving. Don’t know if it helps. Chewing (non-nicotine) gums helped me, since it helps let off “steam”. Each time I had cravings, I agressively chewed it.
Finally, IME, cravings are short. You don’t think about cigarettes for a significant moment (and the more time passes, the longer the moment, until you rarely even think about it), and then you suddenly crave for the stuff. It generally doesn’t last long. The best is to…think about something else, plainly. To keep yourself busy. Once you’ve diverted your attention, the craving isn’t back for some time.
As for feeling nervous, shaky, etc…depends on the persons. Perhaps he should take something to help him sleeping. At least, when you’re asleep, you don’t crave for cigarettes.
Anyway, if it has been 2 days, the worst will soon be behind him.
And of course (it’s obvious but it’s the reason for why I didn’t succeed, so it’s probably worth mentionning), he shouldn’t have “just one” after some weeks/months have elapsed and the cravings have dissapeared, for any reason (out of curiosity to see how it feels smoking a cigarette, because anyway “he doesn’t need cigarettes anymore, so there’s no risk”, because he had a very bad day, etc…). Once I’ve felt for one, I would have another some days or a week after (since I already made the first step hence lost the resolution not to smoke at all and also because apparently, this one cigarette didn’t make me wishing more of the stuff), then some during the following week, and before I had noticed, I was smoking a pack/day again.
Congratulations, Q.E.D!
I quit smoking after many tries. Each time I quit it took a little longer before I went back (and each time I backslid in exactly the manner clairobscur describes, by thinking I could smoke just once in a while or something.)
Every time I quit, I got to feeling a lot healthier in just a few weeks and had a lot fewer headaches. Then when I went back to smoking, it was the memory of that “clean” feeling that helped me get back to it. I know that’s not much help to your fiance right now!
As for you, Satyricon, all you can do is let him know you care and you’re glad he’s doing this, and if he screws up, don’t nag. Good luck!
Yeah, you need a damned good reason to want it. Or at least I did. I had to get a good scare by getting bronchial pheumonia and coughing up blood twice in two months. But that did it and I haven’t had a smoke in 30 years. Once I got that scare it turned out to be easy, but I had tried many times before just ‘because I ought to’ and it didn’t work.
Oh, he does. He’s had athsma since he was a kid, and awhile ago he had a serious athsma attack. If we hadn’t have goten him to the hospital he would have been in big trouble. The doctor there told him that smoking while having athsma AND on steriod inhalers was an extremely bad idea, and he would almost certainly get emphysema later in life if he kept on doing what he was doing. This whole experience scared him pretty bad. He’s also sick of the nic fits, standing outside in the rain and cold, and coughing up chunks of yecch every day (not to mention the cost of a pack now!) So yes, he really wants to quit for himself.
To date, I have quit smoking several times, but unfortunately, I have started smoking just as many times (actually, just as many, plus one).
However, I have found myself quite successful using Zyban as a quitting aid. It has made quitting quite easy in many respects. It rids me of most of the headaches, nervousness, irritability and other side-effects of quitting. Unfortunately, it does tend to make me feel somewhat depressed (odd, considering that it is marketed in the exact same formula under the name Wellbutrin as an anti-depressant). Essentially, for me, it makes me kind of forget that I’m a smoker. I know others who have not had nearly the positive reactions I’ve had with it.
It will probably play a role in my next effort to quit (which starts next week!).
I used to smoke 3 packs/day, and I quit by a method of “systematic desensitization.” It takes a while, but it really works.
First I did a little research, and made a list of about 10 brands of cigarets, in the order of their tar and nicotine content, starting with the brand I was currently smoking (which was fairly strong).
I switched to the next lower brand, which seemed very weak at first. I made no attempt to limit the amount I smoked – this part is very important; at no time did I feel deprived. I probably smoked more of the new brand at first, since I was used to something stronger.
Eventually the new brand seemed “normal” to me. This was the signal to switch to the next lower brand, and repeat the process.
I think it took about 5-6 weeks to get to the last brand on the list – the mildest brand made at that time. I smoked that brand for a few weeks.
One afternoon, I realized that I hadn’t had a cigaret all day, and I wasn’t missing it. My addiction was over.
At no time have I ever had a relapse or any craving or desire for a smoke. In fact, now I can’t stand being around anyone who’s smoking.
This is the only method I’m aware of that really works, and is painless. Good luck.
Satyricon, looks like I was in the same position as your fiance (asthmatic smoker). Not that that means that my advice is going to be any good, but at least he’ll know that it can be done. Hell, it’s probably easier for us.
I used patches. Okay, that’s out for him, but the gum should help. It does nothing for the feeling of the smoke in your lungs or your head, but it takes a bit or the edge off quitting.
My secret weapon was King Edward cigarillos (in case I have the wrong term, they’re like mini-cigars, same length as cigarettes, thinner, 10 to a tin). Whenever I absolutely had to smoke something (usually in a pub etc.), out would come the cigarillos. They filled a need and tasted so bad that I eventually stopped using them. By the way, everytime that I convinced myself that I could have “just one” cigarette in whatever situation, I started up again.
However, there’s a very important caveat. I never inhaled. My father did and, in addition to the gum, he’s now smoking cigars. 5+ years on. Again, as others have said, if you don’t want to stop smoking then you won’t, even if you’ve convinced yourself that you have 
.
Since you’re looking more for advice and personal experiences than facts, I’ll move this thread to the IMHO fourm.
bibliophage
moderator GQ
My wife and I quit Janurary 9th, 2003 after a long, hard struggle. I can’t add to much to what has been said, other than my personal rules for quitting:
- DON’T SMOKE!!! For any reason!
- If you want a smoke, see rule 1.
I also found that holding a lit candle under my nose and inhaling the smoke from it helped greatly. The heat from the candle was a good substitiute.
Tell your fiance’ that I am rooting for him!
-Rob
I actually have advice.
First–set a date in advance, and keep it in your mind for a while. Tell yourself that this is the day you are going to quit. Use it as a goal. Since your fiance has already sort of quit, this may be a moot point, but it’s what I did, and recommend.
If you want to then use the nicotine gum and other methods such as the one panache45 suggests–which sounds very workable–now is the time to do that, as you are heading toward the magic date.
Second, when the day comes, you need to have a strong mental image prepared that empowers you. I don’t want to sound new-age here, but it really worked for me. Let me explain.
I came to the conclusion that I really did not like being controlled by cigs any longer. I was getting up in the middle of the night to go buy a pack 'cause I only had one left, and other silly stuff like that. As I looked forward to the magic date, I realized that it was a control issue with me as well as an addiction, and that I was sick and tired of not being in control. And there was a moment that I had to admit that I was giving over control voluntarily. I was the one lighting the damn things, I was the one buying them, I was the one inhaling the stuff, and yet I allowed myself to believe that I was NOT in control of whether or not I lit up. It was a key moment when I finally accepted the fact that I chose to smoke. Period. That meant, that I could also choose not to smoke.
So, my mental image was a light switch. Okay–this is mine, I’m not suggesting it makes sense to anyone else but me, but when I felt like I wanted to have a cig, after the magic date, I would imagine a switch, like a light switch, or a toggle switch, that I was turning firmly into the “off” position. I wanted a cigarette, bad…click…OFF. I was the finger on the switch. It was me making the decision, not the cigs, not the addiction, not the tobacco. Me. I took control, or responsibility, back from…wherever, or whatever hazy place I had assigned the blame for me continuing to smoke.
Third, I kept reminding myself that the intense craving for the cig would pass. Hit the off switch and deal with it for a few minutes; maybe hit that damn switch a few times, but eventually real life would make some demands again that had nothing to do with the addiction, and my mind would be occupied elsewhere.
I was pretty hard to get along with for a solid two weeks and I think it was at least a month and a half before I really considered myself a non-smoker.
Fifteen years now. It works; you can do it. I had a longer and worse habit than your fiance, and I quit. He can too.
I quit with the help of DumDum suckers. It kept my mouth and hands busy, and when I had something sweet in my mouth I didn’t want to stick a harsh-tasting cigarette in there also. Then I switched to gum (not Nicorette).
I’d say that he should stop smoking altogether. The physical addiction passed fairly quickly, and then he’d just have the mental thing to deal with. Even one smoke a day still keeps your body conditioned to the smell and the feel.
My dad quit his 15 year habit by using toothpicks. He still carries them around sometimes. He wanted to quit because of his children. I wanted to quit because cigarette prices were outrageous!
Plus I have a problem with my heart – it skips a beat every once in a while, and it especially skipped beats after smoking a cigarette. I’m sure his asthma isn’t helping matters any, and is comparable to my situation. He’s got to keep that asthma in mind when he sticks a sucker in his mouth instead of a cigarette.
That’s my advice – suckers, toothpicks, go cold turkey (don’t fool around with the gum or patches), and keep that asthma in front when the urge comes.
IMHO, this:
doesn’t necessarily jibe with this:
My mom, a smoker since about 1961 quit last year with the help of Commit lozenges. She too had a skin reaction to patches.
My SO has quit over the last two weeks. He started out using patches and lots of substitutes for his hands and mouth - hard candies, toothpicks, nuts, pretzel rods. After about 7 days he stopped using the patches and is now on his 11th day without a cigarette. He did not try the Commit Lozenges because you aren’t supposed to chew them and that is difficult for him.
I had the same problems quitting and will parrot Mangetout’s message. I finally quit cold turkey back in 1982. For me, sunflower seeds took the place of smokes, but it’s really the will to stop that is key.
Secondly, I made sure that I did all the things that always were associated with smoking: drinking coffee, having a beer, playing cards, etc. Each time I could do one of these activities and not smoke, it was a small triumph and made me feel like I was succeeding. After awhile, it became the norm, not the exception.
Baby steps. That’s the key.
Three months without a smoke yesterday yay!. The worst thing at the moment is the dreams about smoking, I always know that I’ve quit and I’m telling myself one teeny smoke won’t matter. When I wake up its a minute or two before I realise I haven’t lapsed. I quit cold turkey and used a tip from a friend who is now twenty years from his last smoke – keep one cigarette, when you feel you really have to smoke tell yourself you can have it in an hour, or after dinner, or after you’ve hoovered or something, by the time that’s happened the craving will have faded or you can just extend the deadline. I still have my last cig and I’m considering framing it.
When a craving hits, get up and do something. He needs a hobby - something physical that be done on a moments notice. Running, pushups, maybe buy him a heavy bag so that when a craving hits, he can get up and hit the bag.
And adopt the following as your (his) mantra:
“The first hour/day/week/month/two-months/year/blah is the hardest hour/day/week/month/two-months/year/blah”
When the cravings hit, chant it.
Smoking is as much about habit as it is about physical addiction. Get some new habits, that should make it easier.