Hello,
I work at a marketing firm where presentation skills are required.
Meetings occur frequently and I need to speak freely and confident infront of people. There is no place for anxiety and nervousness which I totally get, but of course cannot fake. This is something I want to work on, and wondering if you guys can recommend any online resources or real life training you have done and like? Thanks!
Otherwise it’s all good! Thanks for the help.
Anton
Toastmasters, amateur theater groups, open-mike nights. Shop around: if one group is dominated by jerks it doesn’t mean they all are.
It may also help to begin speaking in front of small groups and work your way up to larger groups. I had the same public speaking anxiety but began improving my skills during small office meetings of less than 10 people by using every opportunity to speak out. Later I was the leader for a larger group of about 35 to 50 where I would conduct a Q & A on topics I was familiar with or give other presentations to the group. For me, after speaking in front of 50 or so people, speaking in front of much larger groups was much easier.
My trick was to start small and make sure I was familiar with whatever subject I was discussing. The first time I spoke in front of a group of 100+ people, I read an article that suggested you never make eye contact with anyone in the audience, especially anyone in the front few rows. It suggested I concentrate my gaze at about the midpoint of the audience and simply move me eyes slowly from left to right. This helped me in making the audience less personal which is just an alternative to the old theory of pretending the audience is completely naked.
Use a benzo and a beta-blocker together. If you’re anything like me, it will literally turn off stage fright like flipping a switch. There’s a lot to choose from, but my doctor prescribes me Xanax and propranolol. The combination is astonishingly effective, even at relatively small doses. Half a milligram of Xanax and 10 milligrams of propranolol, and I’m good to go. And you don’t have to keep using the drugs forever. If you use them enough times, you will simply unlearn the fear response and you won’t need them anymore. Unfortunately though, it will come back if you don’t maintain it. For example, if you use the drugs once a week for two or three months, your stage fright will dissipate and you won’t need them. But if you go for a couple of years without being called upon to give a public performance, the stage fright will come back and you’ll have to start over again. Again, though—human biochemical individuality, YMMV, blah blah blah.
I second Toastmasters. They have clubs all over the place. I was in one at a previous employer a few years ago. It will cost you a little bit (not only am I in a different country than you, I haven’t attended recently, and I think the fees vary with the group, so I won’t attempt to give a price), but I found it quite enjoyable and well worth while.
Just curious - how did the firm that hired you select someone with such meager public speaking credentials or confidence? You imply that these are critical characteristics for someone in that company or field. Did you B.S. them? Were these qualities not examined or requested in your interviews or applications? What kind of company hires someone to do a job who has little ability to do it? Bizarre. Or, is this a personal crisis of confidence having nothing to do with your actual abilities? It would be like a commercial pilot asking for help because he’s not particularly well coordinated and doesn’t really feel capable of flying an airplane. How did he get that job?
Ask your employer to pay for your training in speaking skills. They should have thought of this before they gave you this job. Do other people at your company have the same sort of problem?
Opinions and recommendations are better posted in IMHO. MOved from General Questions.
samclem, Moderator
Jump in and do it.
I am a pretty good public speaker, though I am not really that great when speaking one-on-one. It’s all about preparation. I don’t wait to the last minute to get a presentation together, which means I have time to go through it five or six or twenty times. Whenever I have waited till the morning of, my talks have gone poorly.
My nerves get me during Q and A part. But you can prepare for this too by anticipating what questions will come up and having answers ready. Put some extra “contingency” slides in your presentation for information you don’t have in the formal talk but that might need to be mentioned afterwards. If you can’t articulate a good answer right then and there, don’t bullshit. Just relax and say, “I’m not sure I know and I really do not want to give you the wrong information. Why don’t we talk later?”
Practice and preparation.
Preparation. Over-prepare. Know your shit up, down, backwards, forwards. I used to get nervous even giving a presentation in grad school, let alone teaching classes solo, but the combination of preparation and practice will do it. I used to get stagefright playing music, too, but same deal got me over that.
People will say what they want to the following suggestion, but if you get stuck and have some legitimate situational anxiety, alcohol is an excellent tool, as are other sedatives. Betablockers never worked for me – but plenty of people find them helpful for situational anxiety. I use Xanax for situations I can’t prepare for, like some job interviews, an oral exam (including going to the dentist!). I think the confidence you’ll gain by sheer repetition will eventually assert itself, and determine whether or not you’ll need to use any chemical tools in the future (not that there’s anything wrong with using them every single time you need to speak in public, if that’s what it takes).
You don’t mention what your education is, although I imagine you must have at least a 4-year college degree to work in a marketing firm. So you know what colleges have to offer.
Consider taking a class in Public Address. Most community colleges have them.
I know nothing about outfits like Toastmasters, amateur theater groups, open-mic nights, etc. Do any of those venues actually offer any instruction in public speaking, or do you just get up and flounder until, supposedly, you get good at it?
In a public address class, you actually learn about techniques that go into public speaking. You learn about different types and purposes of speeches (the speech to inform, the speech to persuade, the speech to motivate, etc.). You learn how to plan a speech for the kind of audience you expect. (Are they technically knowledgeable about the subject? Are they general public without particular knowledge about the subject? Are they all an in-group who all know each other, and maybe you too? Are they a “friendly” audience, like all those Republicans at the Repub debates? Or a hostile audience, like all those Repubs at the Dem town hall meetings last year?) You learn how to take the venue into account. (Is it indoors or outdoors? How are the acoustics of the place? Quiet carpet or noisy echoey tile floors? High ceilings? Tapestries on the walls?) In the class I took, we spent some time on each of those subjects, and other such things. They actually TEACH you about the techniques of public speaking. ETA: I see monstro mentions slides. Yes, that too. You’ll learn about using “visual aids” in your speeches. And what Jaledin says: Know your shit inside-out and out-side in, forward and backward!
I RECOMMEND YOU STAY WELL AWAY FROM BENZOS!!! They are highly addictive (Xanax is commonly thought to be one of the worst) and they are hell to kick.
I found that a small dose of caffeine was helpful (like, half a No-Doz). It made me a little bit jumpy, but caused me to feel more “quick-witted” (rightly or wrongly), and I found that was worth it.
Stay away from benzos.
Yes, I have found stimulants to be better for social lubrication and being “on” than benzos. Benzos make baby Jesus go to sleep.
(I think it’s kind of sad that drugs are even being mentioned. Nervousness is natural, especially when public speaking. The key is to exploit or sublimate this nervous energy. Don’t squash it.)
Here’s what we learned in drama school, I find it helps in all kinds of situations.
We called it “the little man in your head.” This little man, he lives in your head and comments on everything you do. He will tell you you look like an idiot, you will get it wrong, that you are sweating etc. The thing is, you cannot ignore him, or tell him to shut up. The minute you do that he becomes stronger. The only thing you can do, is accept his comments. Just acknowledge what he says, accept that is what is happening. Calmly take note of the situation: “yes, I am sweating, that’s true”. It takes practice dealing with the little man, but it gets much better.
I know it is a crazy explanation, but in my experience, and that of many, many actors & other people I have worked with, it really helps. Before you go in, just acknowledge everything he is saying about you. “Yes, I will probably stutter. Yes, they might laugh when I start the pp and my holiday pictures come up.” Just let it happen, and experience what goes on. Allow yourself to experience. Are the lights bright? Experience it, squint. Allow it, instead of repressing it.
I also second taking am dram classes or improv classes. They wouldn’t cover public speaking per sé, but you learn many techniques that would be helpful. I know my description sounds a bit woozy, but it’s something that helps with time 
Seconding the advice of know your shit. I have done a speaking tour on behalf of the British government and given marketing talks to up to a thousand people, and there’s no way in hell I would do it if I only had superficial knowledge of what I was talking about.
However for me, rehearsing too much made things worse. The old adage of ‘perfect is the enemy of good’ held true. If I overrehearsed I would panic during the talk that I was going to miss a crucial point and gracer’s ‘little man’ would kick in.
So instead I would compile the presentation (it’s always a fucking PowerPoint, isn’t it?) from a position of deep knowledge of the subject, thus getting key points and facts in order in my head, then run through the talk to myself very informally - maybe just once or twice - to make sure the timing was OK.
Here’s the important thing to remember: there may be hundreds of people in the crowd, but in the perception of each individual there, it’s a conversation between them and you.
During the actual presentation I would just talk about the subject as if I was explaining it to a buddy in the bar, merely using the slides as aides memoirs. This kept everything fluid and informal - and in the occasional event that I did miss something, no worries, I’d just go “ah, one thing I should have told you earlier is XXX” and even skip back a slide or two to illustrate what I’d missed.
Knowing it didn’t have to be perfect put me at ease.
Like Nike tells you to, just do it. Then do it again. And a few more times.
I’m an introvert, not severely so but enough, and I spent almost every night over the last two weeks training people and was completely comfortable doing so. It’s really easy now, but back when I started seven years ago, I felt like throwing up every single time. That all changed after just a few months’ practice. I don’t write a script for myself, but I do take notes to make sure that I hit on all the key points I need to. This might make you more comfortable too, but it probably won’t at first. If you keep at it, it’ll become easier, I promise.
Folks, lighten up with the OP. Someone comes in asking for advice and all you can say is “How’d you get the job in the first place?”
FWIW, I had the same lack of self-confidence in my speaking skills. I took Dale Carnegie, and I made it a point to do things that would force me to speak in public (I spoke to student groups, read in church, etc.)
Preparation is essential. Presentations are great, because you’ve prepared the material, so you should know it back and front. Q&A’s are a little harder, but if you go in there with the attitude that you know more than your audience (that’s why THEY ask the questions) you’ll find your confidence improves exponentially.
If you have legitimate social anxiety, you can seek professional help. But stay away from self-medication. That shot of alcohol that loosens your inhibitions – well, it also loosens your inhibitions. That’s not something you want to play with at work.
Just remember, this is not something that comes naturally to most people. It’s a skill that can be developed.
I set my boss up with a technical presentation, and, though he did practice, he botched it. And he knew it. He immediately joined Toastmasters, and says it is great.
While knowing your material is absolutely required, it isn’t good enough. At technical conferences there are plenty of presentations by people about work they have lived with for years, and they as still sometimes awful.
If you can’t go to Toastmasters, here are some hints. First, videotape yourself. A lot of it is charisma and energy. You’ll have to evaluate yourself for that.
Second, there are a lot of standard mistakes, like reading your material instead of speaking spontaneously, which are listed in a lot of places. One idea I came up with while coaching someone is to try to present the material on a slide (during rehearsal) while seeing only the title.
Next, work on the meta context of your presentation. I was able to structure a case study as a mystery story, giving the bizarre symptoms in an early slide, and keeping the audience in suspense.
As for being nervous, after you give a really great presentation that the audience likes this won’t be a problem, since you can visualize success. Not all talks will be winners, but your overall quality should increase.
Another vote for Toastmasters. Best public speaking organization in existence.
Having been a Toastmaster of over 20 years myself, I can echo not only the “Toastmasters” votes, but most of the others (although I don’t recommend drugs or any other thing like that - I still ahve nervousness when I speak, but thanks to the helpful and constructive advice of fellow members, I learn how to become a better speaker.)
If you don’t want to go the Toastmasters route, practice is good too.
You can use propranolol to get rid of the physical symptoms of nervousness, such as high voice, flush skin, and excessive sweating. It doesn’t change any mental nervousness. If you’re nervous, you’ll still be nervous. But at least you won’t show it outwardly.
You can take propranolol just when you need it. You don’t have to take it all the time.