My friend told me a story of a book his dad owned that was occultish in nature and described a method of keeping the spirit in the body at death.
I’m no psycho or anything, but it was fascinating to hear him tell his tale. It has been so long that I have forgotten what it entailed.
Does this ring bells with anyone? Has anyone heard of such a thing?
There was a British movie that came out in the 1970s called THE ASPHYX. Supposedly everybody has a personal grim reaper that comes to get you at the moment of death. The people in the movie try to bring themselves close to death in order to capture the Asphyx, thereby making themselves immortal.
Okay, here’s what you do, and you can follow either of these options:
At the time of your death, instruct kin and/or members of ascending serfdom to place your body in a 30,000 cubic foot pyramid, oriented to the four points of the compass. Make sure all your belongings are in your tomb, too, so your soul will be happy to remain with your decaying physical self.
OR
Wrap aluminum foil around your body while on your deathbed; that way, your soul has NO WAY of escaping once you die.
It’s just that simple.
You could also just sew your lips together before you die.
[Millhouse]When you sneeze, your soul flies out of your nose. Saying “God bless you” crams it back in.[/Millhouse]
So just have someone keep saying “God bless you” and your soul will continiously get crammed back into your body.
You could use the Pammipoo method and offer your spirit a raise and a promotion while constantly whining about how the physical side of the operation is going to fall apart, completely and quickly, the moment it departs.
I used a staplegun and superglue: that sucker isn’t going anywhere.
Okay, so I’m dumb, what do I have to do with this topic? Anyone want to translate for me?
I read it as a lighthearted homage to your recent thread about leaving your job and your employer’s belated efforts to keep you, but I’ll let Olentzero speak for himself.
[Red Dwarf]
[/Red Dwarf]
Says it all, i think…
[list][list][list][list][list][list][list]Saran Wrap?
…:D…
Nice effort, kniz, but you have to use tin foil to be effective.
I just replenish the spirits, regularly.
That was indeed the spirit (pun intended) in which I made that post. Don’t worry, Pammipoo, I’ve long known I would probably not make it big on the comedy circuit, and I have no intention of giving up my day job. 